My review of “Big Momma’s House 2″ begins with this statement: “If you thought ‘Big Momma’s House’ was funny, then two things are probably true: 1) You are stupid. 2) You will also think ‘Big Momma’s House 2′ is funny.”

I don’t take that approach very often. Usually I can allow for the possibility that someone will disagree with me about a movie yet still be a perfectly intelligent person. In this case, however, I couldn’t. I can’t imagine the person who is both smart and a “Big Momma’s House” fan. I don’t think that person exists.

Anyway, that quote was the one used to represent the review at RottenTomatoes.com, and the review therefore got a little more attention than an innocuous quote would have.

For example, I got this e-mail on Friday from someone identifying himself only as “Pj,” presumably not the same PJ who is the youngest child in “The Family Circus”:

Mr. Snider –

Wow… aren’t you just an ass. [Yes.]

I could not care less about “Big Momma’s House” or it’s sequel … but to personally insult someone based on their taste in movies is pretty [swear word] thing to do.

Just because someone’s opinion of what’s funny differs from yours… doesn’t mean they are “stupid”. A “professional film critic” should know
that.

What’s next?

“If you thought Brokeback Mountain was a compelling film, then you are probably a faggot.”

or perhaps….

“If you thought Munich was intense, then you’re probably a filthy jew lover.”

I wrote back to assure Pj that no, such generalizations will not be forthcoming. I urged him to watch “Big Momma’s House” and see if he still disagrees with me about the mental caliber of the people who like it.

Then I got this e-mail, from one Jackie Hatfield:

I saw where you said { If you like big mommas house your and idiot} Well it’s dumb a**** like you that make me sick. You give some stupid movie like King Kong a great review then put down a movie like Big Mommas House. I went and saw it and it was nearly packed. Whats wrong with something funny. [Nothing. If this movie were funny, there would be nothing wrong with it.] Get a real job and shut up about what you know nothing about. [Be careful, Jackie. The "shut up about what you know nothing about" sword cuts both ways.]

I responded: “King Kong was packed when I saw it, too. Does that mean it’s not stupid after all?” Jackie responded with the following e-mail, a classic in the annals of Angry Letters:

I agree King Kong was very stupid, [Wait, what?!] but every movie reviewer I saw gave it 4 stars. Then when Big mommas house comes out they put it down by giving it 1 star. I also saw where most loved that stupid movie about the two faggot cowboys. When I saw Big mommas House it had a bunch of children in it and they were constantly laughing. I would much rather take my children to see a movie like Big Mommas House then to take them to a fag movie and try to explain why two men would choose to want each other like that. { dont tell me they were born like that, thats bull}

She kind of goes off the rails there, doesn’t she? I didn’t even know where to begin explaining the things wrong with that e-mail, so I just sent her this reply: “Ah. Well, thanks for demonstrating to me and my readers that you’re not stupid after all.”