More reviews of the new fall shows are trickling in….

“Men in Trees” (Fridays, ABC): Anne Heche, far more cute and likable than I would have suspected, plays a relationship coach who — get this — HAS TROUBLE WITH HER OWN RELATIONSHIPS!! I know, it’s crazy. So crazy it just … might … work. After her fiance cheats on her and dumps her, she flees to Elmo, Alaska, an isolated little town that’s just the place for her to clear her head and start over. Jokes about how backward the place is abound (They don’t know what soy lattes or spinning classes are! If she uses a hair dryer, it short-circuits the whole building!), and that sort of thing gets old pretty fast for me. But it’s a perky show, “Northern Exposure” meets “Ally McBeal,” and quite harmless. Let’s face it, if you’re home on Fridays nights, you might as well be watching a show about someone who can’t get a date either. TiVo verdict: Meh. It’s not for me.

“Smith” (Tuesdays, CBS): Ray Liotta plays a thief (art, jewels, etc.) whose wife and children think he’s just a regular ol’ corporate businessman. He has a team of heist-meisters who assist him in his grand operations, which in the pilot episode included ripping off a Chicago museum, and they all have personal lives of their own and oh WOW do I ever not care. I made it through half of the first episode before I quit. Evidently we’re supposed to find these people interesting solely because they’re criminals who lead double lives. But guess what? Characters have to say or do something noteworthy, funny, unusual, clever or dazzling in order for us to find them interesting. And these people speak generic dialogue about generic things, and don’t even seem to be enjoying themselves while they do it. TiVo verdict: It would be an insult to my TiVo to make it record this show.

“Jericho” (Wednesdays, CBS): Who says the apocalypse can’t be fun? Skeet Ulrich plays a 32-year-old guy who returns home to Jericho, Kan., after an unexplained five-year absence. The next day, a mushroom cloud is seen in faraway Denver, and all of Jericho’s communications technology ceases to function. What the sam hill is going on? Is it war? An accident? An attack? I really liked Gerald McRaney as Skeet’s dad, also the town’s mayor, trying to urge calm and reason among the citizens before panic sets in and the casualties begin. I like the idea of the show, and the general level of excitement in the first episode entices me to keep with it. TiVo verdict: Season Pass, at least for now.

“Kidnapped” (Wednesdays, NBC): After just one episode I already like this better than Fox’s generic “Vanished.” A millionaire’s teenage son is abducted and the millionaire calls in a specialist, a freelancer named Knapp (Jeremy Sisto) who specializes in, um, getting kidnapped people back. The cops and the FBI will just screw it up, the reasoning goes. Knapp GETS THE JOB DONE. Already cool, but then “Kidnapped” kicks it up a notch by bringing the FBI in anyway: The kid’s bodyguard was wounded in the abduction, which caught the attention of an FBI buddy of his (Delroy Lindo), and now the Feds are involved, like it or not. The FBI and Knapp butt heads over procedure, while I presume details about the family’s past will illuminate clues as to the culprit’s identity. The creator/writer is Jason Smilovic, whose “Karen Sisco” was an unwatched gem a few years ago and whose recent film “Lucky Number Slevin” is worth watching. “Kidnapped” feels smarter and more intriguing than its plain premise (it’s just a kidnapping, after all) would suggest. Minus points for using a song by 3 Doors Down in the pilot. You might just as well stab chopsticks in my ears.TiVo verdict: Me likey. Season Pass.

I used to know a fellow named Scott Haycock, aka Puppet Guy, a talented puppet-maker and all-around creative type who was lots of fun at parties and who would sometimes freak people out. (It may be apocryphal, but I’m told he kept a small vial of his own blood in his refrigerator.) But who cares? He made me laugh.

For a short time in 2001-2002, he produced a children’s show, populated mostly by puppets, for Provo’s local cable channel. I do not remember the name of the show, or how many episodes were made, or whether it actually ever aired on television. But one time he asked me to appear as a guest on the show, singing a song about safety, which was evidently a favorite theme among the puppet characters. Scott wrote the song, setting it to the tune of the Mormon hymn “Choose the Right.” I revised some of Scott’s lyrics, jazzed up the music, and performed it with two of the puppet characters coming in on the choruses.

Scott subsequently sent me a digital copy of the performance, which has sat on my hard drive for more than four years, waiting for me to do something with it. It is now on YouTube, for all the world to see.

That’s Scott as “Li’l Scott” at the beginning; I don’t remember the name of the other puppet, nor of its puppeteer, nor of the cameraman. (Sorry.) I do remember that I had the lyrics taped to the far right side of the piano, just out of camera range, and that we did three takes, of which this was evidently the best (?) one.

The lyrics, in case you can’t make them out:

Safety first, everywhere you look there’s danger
Safety first, there’s peril all around
Safety first, there’s poison in the kitchen
Live through every day both safe and sound

Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let zero accidents be your goal

Safety first, don’t drive faster than you’re supposed to
Safety first, don’t put salt into your eyes
Safety first, especially when handling chicken
“Danger is fun” is one of TV’s lies

Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let living till you’re 90 be your goal

Safety first, the Drano’s not for drinking
Safety first, don’t try to touch the sun
Safety first, don’t leave the house at nighttime
It’s better to be safe than to have fun

Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let not dying gruesomely be your goal
Let not falling into quicksand be your goal
Let not losing any fingers be your goal