Children’s Letters to Raven-Symone V
I know you’ve been jonesin’ for more Children’s Letters to Raven-Symone, so here’s another batch of them. I’ll try to post them more often so we can get caught up.
Basic background: I registered symone.raven@gmail.com and posted it on this blog, specifically saying it is NOT Raven-Symone’s e-mail address and that it IS my e-mail address. I was working under the assumption that people would ignore the disclaimer and use the address to write to Raven anyway. I was right.
Deeper background: Click the “Children’s Letters to Raven-Symone” category and read the earliest entry.
CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO RAVEN-SYMONE
Jan. 19, 2006:
HI RAVEN!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BRIANNA I AM TEN YRS. OLD. I LIVE IN MINOT AFB, ND(A.K.A BIGGEST FAN)!!!!!!!! SINCE I’M SORTA A GEEK TO LIKE EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE ME, WOULD YOU CARE TO COME AND VISIT ME WHENEVER YOU FREE NEXT WEEK!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA MEET YOU AND BOND LIKE SISTERS. I ALSO WANNNA PROVE THEM RIGHT I HAVE COOL IN ME!!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN MY INSPIRATION!!!!!! I’V ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU!!!!! WELL, WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE NEXT WEEK WOULD YOU CALL ME AT (701) [phone number] TO TELL ME WHEN YOUR GONNA VISIT ME!!!!!!!! I WOULD ALSO LIKE AN AUTOGRAPH… SO I COULD SHOW IN SCHOOL AT SHOW AND TELL!!!!!!! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN VISITING ME HERE’S MY ADDRESS!!!!!!!
[address]
BY THE WAY IF YOU HAVE BODYGAURDS THEY’RE WELCOME TO COME, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WELL, PLEASE GET A CHANSE TO CALL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I’M BEGGING!!!!!!!!
WELL GOOGDBYE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! -BRIANNA [last name]
[I like this juxtaposition: "I just wanna meet you and bond like sisters." That's all I want! I JUST want to meet you. Oh, and also, I want to BOND LIKE SISTERS. Wow, no pressure there.]
* * * * *
Jan. 20, 2006:
RAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM YOUR #1 FAN!!!I WATCH YOUR SHOWS EVERY DAY,AND YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! I WISH I CAN MEET YOU ONE DAY ,AND PLEASE WRITE ME BACK SOON
* * * * *
Jan. 26, 2006:
Hey is this Raven from “that so Raven”?
[No, dummy, it's Raven from the Edgar Allan Poe poem.]
* * * * *
Jan. 28, 2006:
hey
I [heart] the color blue! and I [heart] pizza!!!~~~write back~~~
[When writing to celebrities, it is best to tell them interesting things about yourself, as this person has done.]
* * * * *
Jan. 28, 2006:
hey is this really raven if it is plz email me back!!!!!!!!!!! i want my dream to come true plz email me!!!!!!!!!!!
[Is it just me, or are the Raven-Symone e-mails becoming ever more laden with exclamation points?]
* * * * *
Jan. 29, 2006:
Dear Ms. Raven Symone,
My name is Naarah [last name] and i have just opened a new website on www.freewebs.com called The Celebrity Zone. I was wondering if I could schedule a interview with you sometime in february.
Thank you,
Naarah [last name]
P.S. Please write your response back @ [e-mail address]
* * * * *
Jan. 30, 2006:
I can’t believe I can email you.This is awesome. Please write back if you can, Because I love too email.
BYE! from butterflyblue1993
* * * * *
Feb. 1, 2006:
Dear Whom,
I would like to ask if you realy are Raven Symone? If you are email me back because I am your biggest fan! If you are not Raven Symone I would like to say that hurt to know that some one is inpersonating a good pers
SCENCERELY,
AKNOWN
[This is not the first person to imply that by posting a fake e-mail address and stating well over 1,000,00 times that I am NOT Raven-Symone, I am somehow impersonating Raven-Symone. What is this, backwards day?]
* * * * *
Feb. 4, 2006:
hi i no this probaly is not you but i LOVE YOU YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL ACTRESS please i mean PLEASE email me back
Love Raven #1 Fan
Kara [last name]
* * * * *
Feb. 5, 2006:
o my lord im from england and i watch thats so raven all the time, i also think u hav the best singin voice EVER! me and my friends got the cheetah girls songs off the internet and we all sing them, we really love singin to the cheetah girls songs my favourite 1 is cheetah sisters. wen i grow up i want 2 b just like u! honestly i am ur biggest fan EVER !!!!! plz can u rite bk coz it will make my day!
love Becca aged 15 x
Ps its my bday today!!
[Awesome opening! "O my lord"! It's very hymnal.]
* * * * *
Feb. 7, 2006:
Hey! Girl you are my idol
* * * * *
Feb. 7, 2006:
Hi my name is shelby and I am doing a project for school and I have to right my favorite person a letter and I picked you and I need your address please. write me back. Oh by the way I am !3.
[Not 13, !3.]
* * * * *
Feb. 9, 2006:
Hi,
My name is Halle. I am 10 years old.
Are you really Raven Symone?!?
You are SUCH a good actress/singer!!!
email me back,
Halle [middle name and hyphenated last name]
* * * * *
Feb. 16, 2006:
i am a big fan i know everything about you.i hope to meet you in person someday.
[I can think of a few things you don't know about her. Like her e-mail address, for example.]
November 8th, 2006 at 7:52 pm
If my child ever turns out that dumb they’re getting a stern killing.
November 8th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Dateline NBC, but when I was reading the first e-mail by the retard who wrote in all caps, I couldn’t help thinking how easy it would be for a child predator to impersonate a kid-friendly celebrity and get this kind of information. It’s kind of scary.
Otherwise, this stuff is pure gold.
November 8th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
I decided to Google that e-mail address to see what would come up and it appears to have leaked out. It appeared in a Raven chat log and it was stated that it was her real e-mail address. It’s also listed on the Yahoo Answers page as possibly being her e-mail address.
November 8th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Yeah, a stern killing sounds about right… I’ve never seen stuff as funny/sad as teenagers’ letters on the Internet.
November 9th, 2006 at 11:16 am
The saddest part is when a fifteen-year-old writes one of these emails. Fifteen! I was a loser when I was that age, sure, but I still had stuff to do. These kids need some constructive activities to do. Like keyboarding class or spelling camp.
November 9th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
I am curious about the way the kids write. I understand that it all comes from abbreviating, to make typing and texting faster, but can another kid read it without having to sound out every symbol? Those messages take me forever to wade through. I’m really not picking on them right now, just truly curious.
November 9th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Most kids now days are used to reading the abbreviated words. I know that I didn’t have a problem with any of them. It took a little bit of getting used to originally but after a while on MSN Messenger and text messaging it has become easier.
November 9th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Okay, this is now post number five in which you poke fun at ten year olds.
It was moderately amusing the first time, in a sort of disturbing way. I mean, hey, what could possibly be funnier than a professional writer pulling the wool over the eyes of a bunch of earnest but gullible preteens? “Grown man deceives fifth graders — story at ten.”
Any humor from the concept has long since left the building, while the disturbing aspects build with each new installment. Please, please, put the series to rest.
November 9th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Despite being pitifully sad, these letters, in this context, are still funny and will continue to be as long as they are posted – sure, America’s youth (etc) couldn’t spell their way out of a paper bag, but at least we know we’re better….
November 10th, 2006 at 12:04 am
Eric, I’ve been a huge fan of yours for years- next time you are in Utah could we get together and bond like sisters?
November 10th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Ohmygosh! Did Amanda Bynes just comment on this blog?!?
November 10th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
I tend to agree with critic….. if I never see another 10-year-old’s email to Raven it’ll be too soon. But please keep posting any respones from that 40-year-old Amanda-Bynes-loving guy.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:43 am
I don’t mind you posting these letters. They’re funny. But whose the guy who called the 10 year old a retard in the first post. Dude they’re 10?
December 10th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
I think that these letters are hilarious, but I’m also outraged on behalf of my age. I, like Becca, am 15. Fortunately her letter isn’t as stupid as many of the others, but still. Surely she can figure out that it’s not a real email address? And see through the transparent acting of That’s So Raven? It’s an embarrassment to 15 year olds. At least she doesn’t seem as desperate as the younger ones.