Oscar non-winner gets mad at Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld presented the Oscar for Best Documentary at the Academy Awards last week, and he used the opportunity to go off on a couple of Seinfeldian tangents. Here is a transcript:
A few years ago, I was the subject of a documentary called “Comedian,” which won nothing and made even less. But it was good, it was so good that as a direct result, I have been asked to be here tonight to present the award for outstanding documentary feature. And I love documentaries. I find them to have a very real quality.
And I know all the nominees are excited, because when you are nominated, you’re being told, “We think you might be the best. MIGHT. We won’t know definitely until you get all dressed up and get in a room together with all the other people, and on TV, because if by some chance it should turn out that you are not the best, we all want to see the look on your face when you get the news.”
I’m a huge fan of movies in general. I go all the time. I’ve noticed in theaters now they’re running some announcement trying to get you to pick up the garbage from around your seat. Oh, OK! Let me bring my orange jumpsuit and a wooden stick with a nail in it, too! Maybe I’ll work my way down the highway after the credits roll.
I’m not pickin’ nothin’ up! I’m the one that threw it down. How many different jobs do I have to do here?! There is an agreed-upon deal between us and the movie-theater people, it’s understood by every single person in this room. The deal is, YOU rip us off on overpriced, oversized crap that we shouldn’t be eating to begin with, and in exchange for that, when I’m done with something [holds out hand as if holding a soda cup], I open my hand [opens hand, letting the cup fall]. I’m not stickin’ my hand down into a dark hole to try and pry out three Goobers that have been soda-welded there since “The Shawshank Redemption” — which is not a nominee this evening, but these five incredibly depressing movies are. [Lists nominees; presents award.]
It was a good routine, typical Seinfeldian observational humor, and it got laughs. Not laughing, however, was John Sinno, producer of the nominated documentary “Iraq in Fragments.” On Friday, every movie critic and industry writer in the universe (even me) got this whiny e-mail from him:
An open letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
I had the great fortune of attending the 79th Academy Awards following my nomination as producer for a film in the Best Documentary Feature category. At the Awards ceremony, most categories featured an introduction that glorified the filmmakers’ craft and the role it plays for the film audience and industry. But when comedian Jerry Seinfeld introduced the award for Best Documentary Feature, he began by referring to a documentary that features himself as a subject, then proceeded to poke fun at it by saying it won no awards and made no money. He then revealed his love of documentaries, as they have a very “real” quality, while making a comically sour face. [I guess that's open to interpretation. I didn't take Seinfeld's expression on that joke to be "sour," merely deadpan.] This less-than-flattering beginning was followed by a lengthy digression that had nothing whatsoever to do with documentary films. [What?! An irrelevant tangent?! At the OSCARS?!?!] The clincher, however, came when he wrapped up his introduction by calling all five nominated films “incredibly depressing!”
While I appreciate the role of humor in our lives, [Do you really? Or are you just saying that?] Jerry Seinfeld’s remarks were made at the expense of thousands of documentary filmmakers and the entire documentary genre. [Then how come you're the only one complaining about it?] Obviously we make films not for awards or money, although we are glad if we are fortunate enough to receive them. The important thing is to tell stories, whether of people who have been damaged by war, of humankind’s reckless attitude toward nature and the environment, or even of the lives and habits of penguins. With his lengthy, dismissive and digressive introduction, Jerry Seinfeld had no time left for any individual description of the five nominated films. And by labeling the documentaries “incredibly depressing,” he indirectly told millions of viewers not to bother seeing them because they’re nothing but downers. [Actually, I think what he did was make a joke that was funny because it reflected what most people think about documentaries. It was based on a generalization, like 90 percent of all humor.] He wasted a wonderful opportunity to excite viewers about the nominated films and about the documentary genre in general.
To have a presenter introduce a category with such disrespect for the nominees and their work is counter to the principles the Academy was founded upon. To be nominated for an Academy Award is one of the highest honors our peers can give us, and to have the films dismissed in such an offhand fashion was deeply insulting. The Academy owes all documentary filmmakers an apology.
Seinfeld’s introduction arrived on the heels of an announcement by the Academy that the number of cities where documentary films must screen to qualify for an Academy Award is being increased by 75%. This will make it much more difficult for independent filmmakers’ work to qualify for the Best Documentary Feature Award, while giving an advantage to films distributed by large studios. Fewer controversial films will qualify for Academy consideration, and my film Iraq in Fragments would have been disqualified this year. This announcement came as a great disappointment to me and to other documentary filmmakers. I hope the Academy will reconsider its decision.
On a final note, I would like to point out that there was no mention of the Iraq War during the Oscar telecast, though it was on the minds of many in the theatre and of millions of viewers. It is wonderful to see the Academy support the protection of the environment. Unfortunately there is more than just one inconvenient truth in this world. Having mention of the Iraq War avoided altogether was a painful reminder for many of us that our country is living in a state of denial. As filmmakers, it is the greatest professional crime we can commit not to speak out with the truth. We owe it to the public.
I hope what I have said is taken to heart. It comes from my concern for the cinematic art and its crucial role in the times we’re living in.
John Sinno
Academy Award Nominee, Iraq In Fragments
Co-Founder, Northwest Documentary Association
Sinno does make a good point in stating that most awards are prefaced with some kind of tribute to the craft involved (writing, editing, art direction, etc.). But that is not true of the “best picture” awards. When they present Best Picture, Best Animated Film, Best Foreign-Language Film, and Best Documentary, there’s usually just a little banter and then a list of the nominees. They don’t talk about how animation works, or how amazing it is that movies are being made in foreign languages. They just do some shtick and hand out the trophy. True, they don’t usually make fun of the category, either, but come on. Lighten up a little.
And Sinno completely loses me with his next-to-last paragraph, the one about how there was no mention of the Iraq War during the Oscars. Guess what, John: There was no mention of pedophile priests or fundamentalist Christians, either (the topics of the other nominated documentaries). And there wouldn’t have been any references to global warming (and I’ll grant you there were too many) were it not for the fact that “An Inconvenient Truth” had been discussed and debated extensively in the media for the past year and was now the frontrunner to win, with a former U.S. vice president in attendance to support it.
Mention of the Iraq War was not “avoided,” as you put it; it just didn’t come up. Do you really think liberal Hollywood has somehow magically forgotten about the Iraq War and how much they’re against it? That’s absurd! Believe me, everyone in that room (along with most of America) was just as opposed to the Iraq War as you are. The fact that they failed to turn the Oscars into an anti-war demonstration does not indicate that they have gone into a state of denial and are pretending Iraq doesn’t exist. Global warming didn’t get mentioned last year, but I assure you, lots of people were still concerned about it. The recurring themes of any given Oscar ceremony don’t necessarily indicate the Number One Thing People Are Thinking About. They mostly just reflect what’s “big” at the moment with regard to the nominees, and “An Inconvenient Truth” was the high-profile “message” film this year. That’s all it means, nothing more.
Also: I would bet money that if “Iraq in Fragments” had won, this letter would not have been written.
So I ask you, readers: Were you offended by Seinfeld’s appearance at the Oscars? (I’m talking about if you actually saw it. You can’t go by my transcript; it’s always funnier in the delivery.) Did you think, at the time, that he was out of line, or that it was inappropriate? Or did that viewpoint not even occur to you until you saw John Sinno’s letter? I was astonished at the idea of someone as mainstream and un-edgy as Jerry Seinfeld being considered offensive, but I’m curious what others think.
March 3rd, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Not offended at all… However, if what Sinno said is true about the %city screening requirement, I’d have to agree with him that it will hurt independent film makers. That would be a shame.
March 3rd, 2007 at 5:59 pm
“Obviously we make films not for awards or money, although we are glad if we are fortunate enough to receive them.”
Um… so out of curiosity, how do all of these filmmakers live if they don’t do it for money? Do they just make movies as a hobby on the side? Do they mooch off of their family or spouses? Do they go on welfare?
March 3rd, 2007 at 7:01 pm
I wasn’t offended at all. My family and I were having a great time predicting the Oscars and watching the side events; we all thought Seinfeld was hilarious. (As a matter of fact, reading that transcript only reminded me of how funny he had been at the ceremonies.) I have no idea what this guy’s deal is (well, I DO, but you know what I mean).
…Although I do think that the aforementioned decision about documentaries and their eligibility for the Oscars is a questionable one (and by questionable, I mean it’s unbeneficial and stupid).
March 3rd, 2007 at 8:32 pm
I agree that this letter would not have been written if John’s movie had won.
If it HAD won, John would have been forced to accept (in his own line of thinking) that people did, indeed, care about the Iraq war, even if it was not discussed at any other time during the Oscar broadcast.
Therefore, the main point of John’s letter becomes “Me not getting an Oscar = nobody cares about Iraq.” What an incredibly arrogant and stupid point of view.
March 3rd, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Oscars. Meh.
March 3rd, 2007 at 9:56 pm
It’s easy to condemn what’s going on in Iraq.
The hard part is coming up with an alternative.
March 3rd, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah. If I took myself as seriously as Sinno, I might have bothered to actually finish reading his excruciatingly laborious, un-noteworthy message.
March 4th, 2007 at 1:42 am
I didn’t find Seinfeld’s performance offensive. But I did think it was a little too camera-muggy for the role he was playing – introducing the nominees in that category, who, ostensibly, earned the right for viewers to give their films five seconds thought apiece, instead of wondering exactly which Seinfeld episode that joke smacked most of.
March 4th, 2007 at 5:47 am
Truth be told, I never much cared for ‘Seinfeld’ the show, but his speech was one of the highlights of the evening. Yes it went off on a tangent, but it was also very funny and came at a good time in the ceremony.
I think BeeDub has hit the nail on the head regarding his e-mail.
As a final point, I did actually find some of the environmental posturing to be a little smug, and I think if Iraq had come up it would have been even worse. I don’t think the ceremony itself is the right place to talk about these sort of issues (important though they are). So the fact that we didn’t get a shouty Michael Moore, or a nutty Vanessa Redgrave moment actually came as a relief.
March 4th, 2007 at 6:53 am
What I found offensive (it made me squirmy, at least) was the notion that we should leave our garbage on the theater floor.
March 4th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I thought it was funny, but I was kind of shocked he said we should leave garbage on the floor and that the films were depressing. Shocked in a, ‘I can’t believe he said that because someone will be mad, but it’s funny because it’s true’ and I was sure that someone out there, like theater owners and such, would be mad at his promotion of littering.
March 4th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I remember thinking at the time that Seinfeld was being a bit self-indulgent. His calling the documentaries depressing made me raise my eyebrows a little, but I still laughed. Sinno makes some decent points, but needs to lighten up – particularly with regard to his self-important notion that filmmakers are the bringers of “truth” to all us poor hovering masses. Just make your little movies, dude. Strange as it may seem, I’m pretty sure I’m capable of discerning my own opinion without the apparently omniscient Hollywood to guide me. Talk about degrading…
March 4th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I didn’t watch the Oscars, but still, the transcript itself was hilarious. Wish I had seen him do it live.
March 5th, 2007 at 3:48 am
Check out the second comment below this Seattlest post.
This is very likely legit as James Longley lives in Seattle.
March 5th, 2007 at 8:36 am
“Unfortunately there is more than just one inconvenient truth in this world.”
Zing!
March 5th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Ian Says:
March 5th, 2007 at 3:48 am
Check out the second comment below this Seattlest post.
This is very likely legit as James Longley lives in Seattle.
That’s awesome. Way to go, James, for being the bigger man.
March 5th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
If the purpose of a documentary film is to educate the masses, then it had better reach the masses or it is not doing its job and fails as a documentary. Mr. Sinno seems to want it both ways, though, having both no audience and simultaneously being a successful documentary. I suspect that they have to up the number of required theaters to insure that enough of the voters have the opportunity to see the films in question.
If education is a requirement for a documentary’s success, you could argue thus: What made the Columbine documentary superior to Winged Migration or Spellbound (two better made and more interesting/beautiful documentaries that were nominated that year) was its reach. Tons of people saw it. It was more successful as a documentary.
This seems to be the way the academy votes in many cases (ti-cough-nic).
At least that’s the way it seems to me.
March 5th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I found JS’s “Incredibly depressing” line to be in poor taste when presenting for the best documentary only because he did minimize the genre in the genre’s moment in the sun. Any other time in the broadcast would have been fine with me, but not while giving that award. His speech was a fine bit and very well delivered. If he was presenting an award for “Best Hunk of Smelly Cheese” and said, “Of the smelly cheeses, Limburger is the least disgusting. Here are the nominees for the foul substance known as cheese,” I would have the same reaction: poor timing on a great joke.
In no way would his comments have merited a scathing retort like Mr. Sinno’s though.
March 5th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I think from the presentation and the fact that it was coming from Jerry Seinfeld (almost) anyone could have figured that he was kidding when he said they were all “incredibly depressing” films. It’s silly to get worked up about it. But I do have a minor comment on the jokes about having to clean up after oneself in the theater. Not because it wasn’t funny, but because it was funny, and because it was funny there are probably going to be dolts out there thinking it will be really hilarious to take him at his word.
March 6th, 2007 at 5:24 am
I saw it and enjoyed it because of his irony about judging quality through this absurd process – especially in relation to documentaries. Its entertainment. Its not about quality. Ask Peter Weir.
March 6th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
I watched it. I laughed. And I laughed even though it seems a bit unfair to punish movie theater employees (by dropping your trash on the floor) for something over which they have no control (the prices of tickets and concessions). However, I felt no desire to write an angry letter, then or now.
I did feel as though Jerry Seinfeld was auditioning, in a way. “See this, members of the Academy? See what I can do? When do I get to host the Academy Awards?”
November 2nd, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I’m increasingly finding, in general, that J. Seinfeld seems to be laughing at others rather than with others. He does have a sharp knack for isolating the humor in life. However, he also behaves in an arrogant manner that’s continued to stay increasingly distatesful to me.
He appears to feel above the masses that he discusses, and has slipped beyond the bounds of basic manners in many areas.
I saw a moment of his interview w/Larry King (also rather ego inflated). His response to a simple question regarding the show ending by Jerry’s choice rather than a cancellation was rude, demaning, and incredibly transparent as to how fragile and inflated J.S.’ self importance is. I was almost embarrased for him rather than Larry.
His destruction of the former Billy Joel property he purchased, acting as if beyond the reach of local codes and prior aggreements, fits the pattern.
His ‘bride’s” book (that truthfully only puts into print what many, many parents have been doing for years) and their ongoing dismissal of the first authors issues, again fits pattern. The bride herself is a twin replacement of the first armpiece he married.
I’ve seen him in public as well as on air; the look is similar. He consistently walks with a haughty, bored, dismissive look on his face. When he does smile or laugh, his eyes are flat. That’s very telling.
Recently he appeared on the Today show to push the new Bee movie. His strut into the show and dismissive look to most in the building reeks of his boredom with people not of his realm.
Anyone can relish the man and his shows who wish to. I find he’s consistently left a bad taste in my mouth and I don’t wish to join his kingdom of followers.
He fits the standards of the personality disorder known as Narcissisum. How about this; look it up, and see if I’m far off base.