There are three new wide releases this weekend, each catering to a different demographic. Find the movie that applies to you and win!
For grown-ups, there’s “Ocean’s Thirteen,” the third entry in the series of movies about celebrities who like to get together and make movies just for the hell of it. I gave it a B. In my memory, “Ocean’s Eleven” was a B+ while “Ocean’s Twelve” was a B-. Then I checked and found I gave them both B‘s. So that’s B’s across the board for the whole series, a straight 3.0 GPA. Good for them.
(By the way, it’s great to have Roger Ebert back on the job again, if only in a limited capacity. Here’s a typically great line from his lukewarm review of “Ocean’s Thirteen”: “I know full well I’m expected to Suspend My Disbelief. Unfortunately, my disbelief is very heavy, and during ‘Ocean’s Thirteen,’ the suspension cable snapped.”)
For children, there’s “Surf’s Up,” a good-enough animated film about a surfing competition for penguins. Why you would make a movie about a surfing competition for penguins, I don’t know. It’s very lovely to look at, though, and Napoleon Dynamite is in it.
And for 20-year-old boys, there’s “Hostel II,” the sequel to last year’s torture-porn hit I had mostly positive things to say about the first film, but I’m hearing the sequel is more unbearably gruesome. It wasn’t screened for critics, predictably, so the review is forthcoming.
If you’re a newcomer ’round these parts, you should know I send out an e-zine every Friday called “In the Dark” featuring the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, box office data, and other film-related merriment. There’s a podcast version of it, too, and today’s edition can be heard here.