A roundup of Film.com articles
Some of my recent articles at Film.com that may or may not amuse you, listed in chronological order:
The Five Worst Ideas of the Fall Movie Season | This was on Oct. 2. I’ve now seen three of the five, and it turns out my skepticism was valid.
What Not to Do at the Movies | Self-explanatory.
Enough ‘Cloverfield’ Already! | J.J. Abrams makes me weary.
Using Oscar’s Unwritten Rules to Predict the Winners | Make pretty actresses look ugly, play a retarded person, etc.
Ten 2008 Films That I Would See Right Now If I Had a Time Machine | Hey, scientists? Where are we on that time machine technology?
Seven People Not Being Considered for Justice League Roles | The idea was that there had been so much fruitless speculation and rumormongering on the Internet that we wanted to list people who most definitely were NOT being considered. It’s a very silly piece.
The Top 5 Directors of the ’00s | No snark here. These five (well, seven, technically) are geniuses.
Ten 2008 Films That I Would Use a Time Machine to Avoid Seeing | Here’s an example of the type of odd conversation I find myself having regularly. For “Sex and the City: The Movie,” I wrote: “Maybe it’s because I never really watched the HBO series, but I have no interest whatsoever in seeing a horse-faced gal and her brigade of slutty 50-year-old friends on a self-absorbed journey through Manhattan in search of a nice pair of $800 shoes.” My editor e-mailed and asked if we could scale it back a bit. I said, “Is the problem with ‘horse-faced,’ or with ’slutty’? He said, “Yes.” I told him to replace “horse-faced” with “haggard-looking” and “slutty” with “libidinous,” and he ran with that. Problem solved! I bet you don’t have conversations like that with your boss.
What If Real Life Took over All Beloved Fairy Tales? | The upcoming Disney film “Enchanted,” about a fairy-tale princess coming to New York, is the jumping-off point.
I’d Like a Word with the People Behind the People’s Choice Awards | Be sure to read the comments people posted afterward.
The Writers Strike is Bad, But at Least We Get a Break | Let’s be honest: Hollywood makes too many movies anyway.
Rumor We’re Starting: ‘Calvin & Hobbes: The Movie’! | It’s completely false, but elements of it are sadly plausible.
November 20th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Entertaining set of articles.
But in that “Top 5 Directors” article, did you really mean to say that “The Terminal” is not a bad movie?
November 20th, 2007 at 9:23 am
As always, I’m too lazy to register with film.com. I have to admit that I will talk during movies if I’m at home. But, that only happens if the movie (or at least that portion) is so terrible, that I have no choice if I wish to retain my sanity. And leaving the room is not an option, as the pain is so horrible, I can’t move.
In fact, I can only think of a couple movies I have done that to - Cast Away when Hanks isn’t on/escaping the island and whatever that Fast/Furious movie in Japan. I’m shamed to admit I saw the latter, but I thought I did a very nice running commentary.
November 20th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Sure, a prequel is necessary because The Da Vinci Code left so many unquestioned answers.
November 20th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Why do the people who post at Film.com seem less literate than people on this site? Anyone can post here, you actually have to register there, so it takes more effort. I guess this site just attracts more literate people or something.
November 20th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
On the justice league one, I could have sworn you were going to say Christopher Reeve, and just the thought of you possibly saying that caused me to laugh. Alas, you went with the current Superman (I think)
November 20th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Great list of the worst 5 ideas of the fall movie season. I totally agree with all of them. I was especially upset when I saw the trailer for Fred Clause. To waste Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti on a PG movie was very dumb. They are going to lose a lot of money on this movie as it didn’t get parents to take their kids anyway. It serves them right!
November 21st, 2007 at 6:33 am
Fun articles, I hadn’t read them yet. Now I’m late for work. Thanks!
November 21st, 2007 at 10:14 am
The Calvin & Hobbes fake movie preview made me laugh and cry at the same time. If it really was true, I’d have to kill both Jim Carrey and Adam Shankman to halt the production. Maybe I should do that just in case.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Eric’s Calivn and Hobbes movie reminded me of this McSweeney’s article http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/8/21johnson.html (some swearing included)
Also of the McSweeney’s list of failed comic book ideas of which “Calvin and Hobbes and Hegel” was my favorite.