You may have heard snippets of news items about an impending Hollywood writers strike and didn’t let the magnitude of the situation sink in. Perhaps you were in denial. But I’m here to tell you that it is real, and that it will probably be disastrous.

How does seven nights a week of nothing but “American Idol” and “Dateline NBC” sound?!!

Here’s the lowdown on how the writers strike affects you, John and Jane Q. Public, in handy question-and-answer format.

Q: Who’s striking, and why?
A: It’s the Writers Guild of America (WGA) striking against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP). The WGA’s contract ended Nov. 1, and they were trying to negotiate some changes for the new contract. The AMPTP wouldn’t budge, the contract expired, and so a strike officially begins today.

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As you may have heard, the Hollywood writers are on strike as of today, and so in solidarity, I have refused to write a “Snide Remarks” column.

J/K! I’m totally J/K. The reason I didn’t write one is that I didn’t have any ideas. But it sounds so much more principled to say it was on purpose, doesn’t it?

More bloggy stuff later today, including a post about the writers strike and how it affects YOU, the average TV-viewing American.

Remember “Stalking Santa,” the fun mockumentary about a guy trying to prove the existence of Santa Claus? Sure you do! I posted a review several months back, and alerted you to some screenings in the Provo area.

Now I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the film is being released on DVD this Tuesday, so you can buy it or rent it and watch it in the comfort of your own home. The bad news is that this is occurring without the movie ever being released to theaters.

What annoys me is that this is the work of Excel Entertainment, which bought the film earlier this year, full of promises to give it a nice theatrical release and plenty of promotion. The producers had other options. They went with Excel because Excel — despite only having previous experience with Utah-centric Mormon films — pledged to handle it effectively.

And now they’re dumping it straight to DVD. “Stalking Santa” isn’t mentioned anywhere on Excel’s website. It’s not for sale at Amazon. (It is for rent at Netflix, though.) As far as I can tell, the only place you can buy it is at Deseret Book stores or at DeseretBook.com — where it’s incorrectly categorized as an “LDS DVD,” no doubt because it came from Excel, and Deseret Book is used to everything Excel does being LDS-themed.

In other words, it’s being marketed (and halfheartedly at that) only to Mormons, even though it has nothing to do with Mormonism and would appeal to a general audience. Indeed, it HAS appealed to general audiences, when it has played at film festivals over the last year. Excel’s bumbling has slashed the movie’s potential.

Why didn’t Excel release it in theaters? An insider told me it was due to the regrettable circumstances of the season. The marketplace is very crowded this time of year, and it’s hard to get theater chains to give up screens for something small like this.

That’s a good point — but it was also 100 percent foreseeable. They could have known that (and should have known that) months ago, when they acquired the film. The holiday season didn’t exactly sneak up on us this year. It was on the calendar.

Anyway, they are doing three free promotional screenings in theaters, one in Salt Lake City on Monday, one in Los Angeles on Tuesday, and one in New York City on Thursday. The details are at the film’s website. I do believe cast members will be on hand at all the screenings.

(By the way, I can see from the picture on the film’s website that I’m quoted on the DVD cover, but I can’t quite make out who it says I write for. It should say “Eric D. Snider, eFilmCritic.com,” but the text looks a few letters longer than that. Can anyone else make it out?)

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A couple weeks ago we had like six new movies, and they were all rated R. Today there are three new wide releases, and two of them are PG — and worth watching, too, which is kinda rare for PG movies nowadays.

The animated “Bee Movie” is more amusing than not, though it also makes no sense whatsoever and has more bizarre plot turns than you expect in a cartoon.

I was quite fond of “Martian Child,” my affection for John Cusack no doubt coloring my opinion. But honestly, who doesn’t love John Cusack?! (NOTE: That question is rhetorical. If you do not love John Cusack, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.)

Moving deep into R-rated territory, we have “American Gangster,” which has caused Lenny Kravitz’s version of “American Woman” to be stuck in my head all week, except my brain keeps replacing “Woman” with “Gangster.” Dear Brain: YOU ARE ANNOYING. I hate you so much.

Oh, “American Gangster” is pretty good.

Finally, in somewhat limited release is “Wristcutters: A Love Story.” I saw this at Sundance in January 2006 and am glad it’s finally seeing the light of day. It’s an unusual and imaginative film, set in an afterlife that’s only for people who died via suicide. It’s a lot more funny and life-affirming than it sounds.

I got this e-mail today:

Well eric the George Lopez was funny my family really enjoyed it. The caveman show is a total waste of film nothing funny about,they should had left it just has a commerical. Let me quess your white thats why you are so lame white people just dont get it. Maybe you should join the caveman cast your just as stupid has the show!!!!!!!!

First, let’s pause a moment to bask in the sweet, aromatic irony of someone who writes like this calling anyone else “stupid.” Mmmmm…. refreshing.

Now, then. I assume “the George Lopez” means “The George Lopez Show,” and the strange part is that the only time I have ever mentioned that show on this website was in passing in a blog entry three years ago. Why get so worked up about it now?

As for “Cavemen,” I talked about that more recently — long enough to say it wasn’t very good. Which means I agreed with this person. So why is he or she yelling at me?!

Finally, while I am white, and while I agree that white people are lame, I don’t know that being white is why I’m lame. I have other qualities that contribute to my lameness. Let’s not limit it to just skin color.