Eric’s Bad Movies: ‘Speed 2: Cruise Control’ (1997)
As promised, this week’s edition of “Eric’s Bad Movies” at Film.com is “Speed 2: Cruise Control,” the strangely Keanu-free sequel to the 1994 blockbuster. Despite its title, it contains very little speed and no control. There is a cruise, though, and probably a 2 somewhere. Enjoy.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I think this is the best (worst?) one yet. I love how you even got my favorite part to hate - where the navigator or whoever is calling out the speed of the ship. Five……..knots!!!!!!!!!
May 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
The movie does have one thing going for it, it inspired one of my favorite Milhouse lines, when Otto is driving the school bus really fast: “It’s like speed 2, but on a bus.”
May 29th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I’m sitting at a small internet cafe in Brussels reading this review and laughing out loud and all these Belgians are flashing me dirty looks. Good job, Eric.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I saw part of this online. Willem DaFoe was putting leeches or something on his eyebrows. I didn’t understand it in the slightest.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Oops - not “online.” On TV.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
My favorite part was when Annie had to free her fellow passengers from a locked room, and had no problem finding a chainsaw to cut open the door. I know that on most of the cruises I’ve taken, chainsaws were always conveniently accessible.
And then you have the part where Jason Patrick jumped off the back of the ship and then climbed back aboard when he didn’t catch Dafoe. Rather remarkable, considering that:
1) The ship was going 19 mph, about 4x as fast as an olympic swimmer.
2) The passengers supposedly couldn’t jump off the ship because the propellers would suck them in.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:40 am
That sounded like a “C” review. Just messing with you. Funny review Eric. With this question: OK, it’s a sequel to Speed, only without Keanu Reeves… …….I think the studio should have answered- now wait that sounds very intriguing.
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
“Put me on a bus that’s been rigged to explode if it drops below 55 mph once, shame on you. Put me on a bus that’s been rigged to explode if it drops below 55 mph twice, shame on me.”
This made me laugh so hard I couldn’t even finish reading it out loud to the hublet. He had to lean over and read it to himself (which I hate). Then, today at the doctor’s office, it popped into my head and I sat there shaking with barely controlled silent laughter while the doctor finished making notes about our visit. Finally, he turned and cracked a joke which allowed me to let out my guffaws. I hope he didn’t wonder why I was so enthusiastic about his not very funny joke.
Also? The drywall bit. Comic gold.