Watch this video if you never want to sleep again. http://tinyurl.com/dzr32d

@slashfilm I know, that was my point… Why refer to it today if you’re not actually going to say anything about it? I HATE SUSPENSE!!!

@slashfilm Embargoed until Tuesday? Good thing you mentioned it today, then!

My pal Jeff Bayer has a site called The Scorecard Review, which rates various elements of a film on a scale of 1-10, making it the perfect movie-review site for numerophiles and illiterates. He also has the TSR Movie Awards, designed as an alternative to the Oscars, and he is eagerly awaiting YOUR vote! Yes, YOURS!

He writes:

It’s that time again …

The Academy Awards just don’t cut it. Every year I watch, and every year I think they get something wrong.
Not only that, why can’t there be more than five nominations? Categories that fans care about (no offense “Best Achievement in Sound Editing), and why can’t we know who got second place?

Instead of sitting still — I created the Scorecard Movie Awards.

Categories range from the typical (Best Overall Cast, Best Actor, Best Film) to the atypical (Best Ending, Best Quote, Funniest).

If you have seen two movies or 200, it doesn’t matter. You only vote for the films you have seen.

There are 27 questions including the Hall of Fame.

Enjoy.

Here’s the link. Go vote! Come on! WHO’S IT GONNA HURT??

Owen Gleiberman’s weekly WTF?!: an A- for “Confessions of a Shopaholic” http://tinyurl.com/cwutjq

Me: “What’s an awful movie that I could write about that’s at least 10 years old?” Readers: “Speed Racer! Mamma Mia! Citizen Kane!” No lie.

All three of this week’s new releases are tied in to the current woeful economic climate.

First there’s “Confessions of a Shopaholic” (reviewed at Film.com), which would be bad anytime (it’s terribly unfunny and formulaic) but especially when no one wants to think about frivolous clothes-shopping and debt-accumulating.

Then there’s “The International,” starring Clive Owen as an Interpol agent trying to bring down a villainous bank. A villainous bank that wants to control the world by controlling its debts. Not with Clive Owen on the case, though! He could get your bank to reverse your overdraft fees, he’s that good.

Finally, we come to the passable “Friday the 13th” remake, which was made solely because it would be cheap and profitable — and cheap and profitable things are exactly what America needs more of right now! Way to go, New Line!

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.