@RandyTayler You know you don’t have to pay BYU parking tickets, right? If you’re not a student, they have no power over you. Trust me.

Though I know, rationally, that I’m leaving in a few minutes to see “Madea Goes to Jail,” I’m having trouble convincing myself of it.

James Rocchi’s always-delightful Oscar predictions, via the Ernest Borgnine simulator: http://tinyurl.com/bs4yo8

The films opening today are ones that nobody wants to see, which I think is part of Hollywood’s master plan to make everyone stay home and watch the Oscars. Which makes sense, really. Why cannibalize your audience?

Tyler Perry’s new “Madea Goes to Jail,” evidently a remake of a Jim Varney film (I suppose next she’ll be going to camp and/or saving Christmas?), opens as one of Hollywood’s Shameful Secrets®, though I guess it’s really one of Atlanta’s Shameful Secrets, since Perry famously works outside the usual studio system. Anyhoo, it wasn’t pre-screened, but I’m reviewing it later today because I’m curious about Mr. Perry’s work. Jay-kay, I’m getting paid $$$.

The other new wide release is “Fired Up!,” a horndog comedy about boys infiltrating cheerleader camp. It’s quite a bit funnier than I expected, with some genuinely sharp dialogue sprinkled throughout — but it’s still no better than a C+ movie. And you probably weren’t going to see it anyway.

Oh, and I gots me a review of “The Class,” a French schoolteacher film that’s been making the rounds, just in time to probably win the foreign-language Oscar on Sunday. It’s pretty good. An associate of mine who saw it with me didn’t care for it, though, and he said as we left, “I knew it covered an entire school year, but I didn’t know it happened in real time.” OH SNAP! You can see why I’d associate with someone like that.

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.

@slashfilm Online reviewers will never be equal??! Well, not with that attitude!

@ElisabethRappe I know what you mean.. I have some of those too. But if you let them bother you, THEY WIN! And it’s wrong for losers to win.

@devincf I hate that so many editorials are full of ranting.

“Fired Up” isn’t actually what I’d call “bad.” It has some solid laughs in it. Still a C movie, but that’s better than I expected.

@ElisabethRappe – Best policy is to not read the comments at all, or ignore them if you do. 90% are pointless, mean, and/or stupid.

It’s Oscar season, and there’s lots to talk about!

First, check out my exclusive Cinematical piece on the changes they’ve made for this year’s show.

If you’re in the mood for company, you can join me at Cinematical during the show, the first hour of which (5:30-6:30 Pacific Time) I’ll be live-blogging. It should be fun! Maybe! I’ve never live-blogged before!

Finally, here are my predictions. I’m on a streak here, having correctly predicted 13 out of 24 categories last year and the year before. I want that number to go up, though. I’m pretty sure my ESP is more in tune with Academy thinking this time around. No time to get into the details of why I think these will be the winners — just mark ‘em down, because THESE ARE GOLD! (A complete list of nominees can be found here.)

Continue reading…