Why, yes. Yes I did.
This is what I got when I searched for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” on Amazon:
As a matter of fact, I did mean “Paul Bear: All Cop.”
[MOVIE TRAILER]
Meet Paul. He’s a regular police officer, with a regular partner and a regular life. Except for just one little thing: His father was a bear! [record scratch]
PAUL: Rroowwr!
Now he’s the only one who can stop an evil corporation from destroying a national park — if he can stop thinking about honey, that is!
He’s exercising his right to bear arms — and his right to arm bears!
Put your food in a bag and hang it from a tree branch, because here comes “Paul Bear: All Cop”! He’s part ursine, but he’s all police officer!
“Paul Bear: All Cop” — in theaters this summer! You’ll bear-ly be able to stop laughing!
March 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
This is hysterical for many, many reasons.
I’m curious as to why you were looking this film up on Amazon though…
March 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Better question: Why were you searching for Paul Blart: Mall Cop on Amazon?
March 30th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Rated R for grizzly images, of course.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Boring reason: I was updating the Amazon affiliate link on my review of the film.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
“He’s exercising his right to bear arms — and his right to arm bears!”
ahhhhhahahahhahahahah now THIS is a movie I would see.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:48 am
That is brilliant. Thanks
March 30th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Good one, Crystal.
March 30th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Haha, thank you Crystal for reminding me about that.
March 30th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Still laughing. Oh my that’s funny. “Man, I really misspelled ‘bear’ there.”
March 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Could have been worse-
“Paul: Bare-All Cop.”
March 30th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Awesome. The only change I would make would be to put the record scratch after ‘Except for just one little thing” rather than after the declaration that his father was indeed a bear.
If South Park has taught me anything, it’s how a generic movie trailer for a terrible movie should sound (I’m sure many remember the terrific ‘The Carrot’, ‘The Stapler’, and ‘Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb’, all rated PG-13).
March 30th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I cannot evven imagine why Amazon would give you an exact match on your Search parameters … and then act like it has no idea what you’re talking about.
March 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Bravo! That was fantastic.
March 30th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Half man, half bear, ALL COP!
March 30th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y265/dcornelius/paulbear.jpg
March 30th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Would you really be surprised if Hollywood actually came out with something like this? The sad thing is I would probably watch it.
March 31st, 2009 at 6:03 am
Damn, I was busting a gut over this. Nothing has struck me this funny in a long time! I literally had tears streaming down my face! Great job Eric!
March 31st, 2009 at 9:22 am
Just awesome. It actually sounds better than most movies coming out this year. At least it’s not a remake of another movie.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:58 am
Thank you, Eric! That’s funny stuff! In the middle of a not so great day, you made me laugh out loud and get that boost of energy and goodness that comes from smiling and laughing for real, rather than the kind of wan feeling that comes from the semi-fake smiling and laughing I too often do in order to be polite to my co-workers. Thanks for sharing your humor, creativity and talent with us!
March 31st, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Thats hilarious! Also, if you click ‘paul bear all cop’ it comes up as ‘we did not find any matches’! Then why did you suggest it! Haha!
March 31st, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I just tried it, and it now suggests “Paul Blart Small Cop”.
Meanwhile, amazon.co.uk gets surreal: “Paul Art Wall Cup”…
(And yes, both of them knew about “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”; and there are no exact matches for either of the above suggestions).
March 31st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Ah, and for “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover”, it suggests “The Book, The Thief, His Wife and Her Cover”…
March 31st, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Gotta love Amazon.com’s suggestions. I remember being told that I would likely appreciate a salad spinner based off of the fact that I liked “The Bourne Identity”.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:42 pm
I did the same search and got: “Did you mean, ‘Observe and Report’?”
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Four days without a post… I’m starting to get the shakes.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
Paul Bear: All Cop, starring Martin Lawrence.