@1inAmelia “Hey, waiter! Don’t take that bowl of excrement away yet! I wasn’t finished eating it!”

What I hate most about “The Other Sister” is that it’s hard to write about it without throwing the word “retard” around a lot.

@BillCorbett Did I hear Mike pronounce “conjure” with the stress on the second syllable? Con-JURE? Is that a Minnesota thing?

Here’s what happens in Armond White’s pea-sized brain: “What is everyone else’s opinion going to be? OK, I’ll be the opposite.”

RT @devincf I hate that I live in a world where this guy becomes a gymnast and not a superhero http://bit.ly/lTOfN (via @moiseschiu )

Latest theory by EDS.com commenters: L.A. Times *intentionally* uses bad grammar to avoid words that “look weird.” http://tinyurl.com/pvf2sv

FRIEND: Let’s go to this thing Thursday night! ME: OK! FRIEND: Whoops, I forgot, I have to work. Sorry. ME: ['Price Is Right' loser noise]