So I was standing at a urinal next to Ann Coulter the other day, and I said, “Ann, why the long face?”

@shawnlevy I was, but then there was a lengthy stream of soccer play-by-plays! “Son of On the Waterfront” = LOL, though. More of that!

New Woody Allen film has old man w/ girl young enough to be his daughter. In real life, of course, the girl would actually BE his daughter.

@Radio_Lady I don’t think I ever was following you. Nothing personal. Lots of friends I don’t follow. Forget it Jake, it’s Twittertown.

@lazersly First think of something interesting or clever to say. Then tweet it. Warning: Do not reverse those steps!

Today’s insane letter printed in a Utah paper: Why are there no local TV news shows airing at 7 a.m. on weekends?! http://tinyurl.com/ljl8xy

@Jet_Set Why would a car on the lawn offend someone in Provo? Does it have an Obama bumper sticker on it?

Early Childhood of a Nation // Casablanca 2: Playin’ It Again // Scarfoot // Full Metal Pants #unnecessarysequels

There Will Be More Blood // No Rockabilly for Old Men, Either // Say Anything Else // Seventeen Candles #unnecessarysequels

George W. Bush #unnecessarysequels