@Jet_Set “Jeepers, Snider, how many times do I have to tell you, that drive is NOT an egg cooker!” At least once more, apparently.

Firefox 3.5: I often have to click links or toolbar bookmarks twice before they work. Also, my iMac is giving off a sulphury smell.

Anyone else update to Firefox 3.5 and having some weird issues with it?

I don’t think it was appropriate for Janet Jackson to upstage everyone by flashing her nipple. Too soon, Janet. Too soon.

“I Love You, Beth Cooper” makes me want to apologize to the Wayans family.

Today’s insane letter printed in a Utah paper: “Your film critic panned Transformers ‘just to be different’!” http://tinyurl.com/mhusam

I started to write a parody of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” in the spirit of my “Twilight” and “Titanic” screenplays, but stopped before I got very far. I soon realized that, after less than a week of release, the movie had already been so thoroughly dissected, mocked, ridiculed, and satirized on the Interwebs that there wasn’t anything left for me to say. In the interest of completeness, however, here’s what I came up with before I abandoned the project.

My Rejected “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Screenplay

SCENE 1

OPTIMUS PRIME: (voice over) For the last two years, the Autobots have secretly been working with the U.S. military to hunt down and destroy the remaining Decepticons. We work in secret not because people would freak out if they knew alien robots were real, but because they’d be angry over how different the alien robots are from the alien robots they used to see in cartoons. Luckily, there were no witnesses to the large-scale, broad-daylight destruction of Los Angeles in the last film, so we’ve been able to keep the whole thing hush-hush.
ARMY GUY: Optimus! Shut up with your narrating and get to work! The Decepticons are attacking Beijing!
OPTIMUS PRIME: OK, OK. Hey, do I need to put in for overtime on this?
ARMY GUY: No, just mark it on your time card and we’ll let H.R. sort it out. And save your receipts!

Continue reading…

Coincidentally, the last time I was this moved was when *Andrew* Jackson died, on June 8, 1845. Damn that tuberculosis!

Two of MJ’s most infamous deeds actually sound cute if you phrase them right: Baby-dangling! Kiddie-diddling! Aww! #michaeljackson

I suspect several “memories” will be left out of MJ’s “memorial.” For example, the child molestation. #michaeljackson