I hate being the bearer of bad news, but none of this week’s new releases are very good. The best of the lot is “G-Force” (review at Cinematical), about the guinea pigs who work as government spies, and even that’s only a C+.

Quite a bit worse is “The Ugly Truth” (review at Film.com), a coarse romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler that turns out to be pretty much as bad as it looks. The press screening was Wednesday night, opposite “G-Force,” which would have presented me with a choice of Sophie’s proportions. Luckily (?), last Friday night “The Ugly Truth” had “sneak preview” screenings around the country, so I paid actual U.S. money to see it and thus freed up my Wednesday for “G-Force.” This is my life, folks.

The third new release is “Orphan,” an entry in the Evil Children genre. It supports what I’ve always said about adoption: it’s immoral and dangerous. The movie is cruel distasteful and should be avoided.

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.

@RandyTayler I don’t like it when I hear a toilet flush & the water fountain I’m using loses pressure. //Would be worse if pressure went UP.

Frodo Baggins and the kid from “Home Alone” throw down in “The Good Son,” which is this week’s subject in Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com.

As indicated by the diary entry that begins the column, I saw this theatrically — on opening night! — with several of my friends. Even though I was barely 19 years old and my critical tastes had not yet fully formed, I distinctly remember laughing at it and finding the whole thing ridiculous. Good for me.

I’ve made a huge mistake. Almost everyone I follow on Twitter is tweeting about something I don’t care about. #comiccon

Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com: “The Good Son” (1993). http://tinyurl.com/mgy85h

Yep, “G-Force” did the trick: I am now officially tired of 3D. Congratulations, bandwagon-jumping studios! You did it!!

@ogrejoel Ha! I forgot about Horsey Manman! What a great name….

“G-Force”: directed by Hoyt Yeatman, co-written by Cormac Wibberley. I guess Zackamore Hooberry and Finster Blount were busy.

Proof of why you need to select a font carefully if you want people to take your thriller seriously: http://tinyurl.com/n7jq95

I do not recall the weatherman saying today would be unproductive with a chance of laziness.