An update on that leave of absence
I apologize for the vagueness of the note I left a few days ago, indicating I might be absent from my duties for a while. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell you what was going on, only that it was still too early to know the depth or extent of it, and, frankly, I didn’t feel up to the task of explaining. But now I will explain.
I suffer from clinical depression. Or, more accurately, I have clinical depression, but have not “suffered” from it in more than six years. I went on Lexapro in early 2003 to combat relatively mild depression and anxiety symptoms, and things have been fine since then. Friends have said in the last week, “I had no idea you had clinical depression!” And that’s exactly the point — the Lexapro (and its generic cousin that I switched to a couple years ago) did its job very well.
But last week, it stopped working. This is not uncommon. Google “SSRI poop-out syndrome” and you’ll see. From what I gather, it is fairly unusual to be able to pinpoint the exact day that the meds stop working — it was Monday, Aug. 24, for me — but I am, after all, an efficient and orderly person. There wasn’t any life event that caused it. Though my 35th birthday loomed, that was not the breaking point. It just HAPPENED. The drugs lost their effectiveness, and my mood pendulum swung back dramatically in the opposite direction.
It started on Aug. 24 with a mild sense of unease, not unlike nausea. On Tuesday, I felt more out-of-sorts, unmotivated, vaguely sad but for no discernible reason. That night, the heavy symptoms kicked in, and continued for several days. They were the symptoms you hear about in the TV commercials for anti-depressants: hopelessness, unexplainable sadness, loss of interest in doing things you love, loss of appetite, a sense of being overwhelmed by even the smallest of life’s difficulties. I would sob and sob for no reason, despairing of ever feeling happy again. My thoughts occasionally went even darker than that, too, though I don’t want to dwell on that. It was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.
I had never felt anything like this before, even before I went on the Lexapro in the first place. Luckily, I was rational enough to know that this depression was a physical illness, and that it could be treated, and that it was temporary. In other words, I was rational enough to know that my thoughts were not rational. I thank God for that.
On Friday, I saw a doctor and was prescribed another medication that is stronger than the generic Lexapro, and which I’m taking in higher doses. It will take a few weeks for it to really build up to full strength in the body, but I do feel improvements. My prayers and the prayers of others in my behalf have also helped.
Still, it’s rough going. At this point I don’t have “good days” and “bad days,” but rather stretches of a good few hours and stretches of a bad few hours. I’m writing this during one of the pleasant periods, when I can step back, take a little perspective, and joke about things. A Twitter tweet that I tweeted last Wednesday was tweeted during a similar moment of lucidity: “Spending my 35th birthday in the traditional way: gently weeping while doing an Internet search for low-cost therapists in my area.” Granted, that happened to be true. I really was doing that. But I managed to recognize it as being funny, too, which I took as a sign that all was not lost.
Right now I’m trying to divest myself of as many obligations as possible. My editors have all been very understanding and supportive, and have granted me as much time off as I need. (How much I need and how much I can afford are two different things, but that’s another matter.) A lot of what I do here at EricDSnider.com is what you might call pro bono — I do it because I enjoy it, and because I like having readers. But I needed to free myself even of those self-imposed obligations, which is why I posted that vague note the other day. I need to be able to get back up to speed at my own pace, and not feel pressured.
For that reason, I hope you’ll forbear from sending well-intentioned “Please get back to writing again soon!” messages. Believe me, I want to do that (or at least I want to want to). What I need to hear right now is “Take all the time you need to get well, and we’ll be waiting for you when you get back!” In the meantime, I’ll post reviews and other items as mood and energy permit, but probably not the full complement. I am very grateful to have you as my readers, and I hope you understand where I’m coming from. As always, your thoughts and prayers (if you are so inclined) are welcome.
I’ll keep you posted.
-Eric
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Best wishes to you Eric; as a fellow sufferer I can always tell when I need to modify the meds. Come back when you can and get better soon.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Glad you recognized what was happening to you and sought the change in meds. Feel better.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
God bless Eric. I can’t tell you how many times your writing has brightened my mood or made me feel better, or occasionally left me in tears from laughing so hard. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Take all the time you need to get well and we’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Really.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Thank you.
Thank you for posting this. For describing this illness so perfectly. For sharing it with us.
Take all the time you need.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Here’s hoping that you feel better, and you’re able to get back to an equilibrium you’re comfortable with. You’ll always have a fan here, pretty much regardless of what you’re writing, where you’re doing it, or when it’s posted. Seriously, you could carve a short sonnet onto a gas station bathroom stall at 11:50 AM of the day before Halloween 30 years from now and I’d still be happy to read it. I really do hope everything clears up, and you’ll be in my thoughts.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Take care, man. Good job thinking through the irrational stuff.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Take all the time you need, I’ll be here when you get back. (I’m known for my ability to follow directions) : )
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I don’t find it hard to believe that you’re depressed. Seems like it affects many of my favorite funny people. I hope you have a cat or dog, or some other warm body that you can force to snuggle with you and not be charged with assault. Be aware this might happen though: http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/10/22/
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Eric, depression is a myth. You just need to read your scriptures every day and do your home teaching. Is there something you need to talk to the bishop about?
Kidding, man, I hope your condition improves and that you are able to take the time you need for it to happen. My prayers are with you.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
That’s scary. I’m on Lexapro, but I’ve been somewhat irresponsible taking it sometimes, and so I experience mild to moderate withdrawal symptoms every time I wait too long to get some more. Those symptoms suck. But to have it quit working all together, with nothing to turn to until you get up to speed on another drug… man, that REALLY sucks. I’d imagine I’d have to shut myself in a room and straight-jacket myself until everything was purged. Relax as much as you can. You deserve it.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
We heart you, Eric, and hope you start to feel better soon. Don’t worry – we’ll keep mocking Transformers and the Wayans brothers while you’re on leave!
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Oh, and I once read an article in the Daily Universe and cried because I had been of Lexapro too long once. I hear ya there.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:03 pm
My husband was diagnosed with a panic disorder with agoraphobia earlier this year. What a struggle to get the right dosage on his meds. But worth it! I was amazed at the number of people who were understanding and supportive but more amazed at the number of people who don’t get how real it is. I’m glad your employers understand. As a loyal reader who loves the way you think and express it, I look forward to when your back at it but I’ll wait as long as it takes. Until then, I will keep you in my thoughts.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Thanks for the honesty. And also for being awesome in general.
Take your time, seriously. We’ll be praying.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:08 pm
I’m only a reader, but you’re certainly in my prayers. Your writing has made my life so much more enjoyable ever since I discovered it in the early 200s; I shiver to think what my life might be like if I never found it. Take all the time you need, and when you feel ready to come back, we’ll all still be here.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I hope the new meds help. I know how long it can take sometimes to find not only the right medication but also the right dose. Hopefully this will be a short adjustment. Good luck!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:02 pm
You just did such a wonderful thing by sharing this. I will be praying for you and I hope you take all the time you need. I often come and read your writings when I am feeling “down” because it is guaranteed to make me smile. Thank you.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I don’t know you, but I feel like I do. You don’t know me but sometimes I watch you sleep. Seriously.
I wish you the best. You make me laugh and have become the standard of what counts as good cinema among my family and in-laws. Thank you for that. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for letting so many people know that mental disorders are real. Good luck my pseudo-friend; we’ll be waiting patiently.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Thank God you were able to recognize your symptoms. I know all your readers only want the best for you, so do whatever you need to. As I am similarly afflicted, I know how much it takes from you.
Good luck, Eric, and God bless you.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Best of luck, Eric–we’ll be right here when you get back to full speed. Take your time, we’re not going anywhere.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Eric,
Amazingly brave of you to come out and tell the world about this. Anxiety is not a pleasant mental state to deal with. I know, I’m on Lexapro right now myself and don’t want to imagine how it is to be off them again. I guess I’m a little bit freaked out right now though as I know it’s just a ticking clock until when the symptoms return. Good luck with your illness and I look forward to my work days brightening up again as your site returns to the fully functioning machine it once was.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
You’re worth the wait.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Sorry to hear what you’re going through. I know what it’s like; I’ve been there myself. It will get better. It takes time, and it hurts while it’s taking time, but it will get better.
Anyway, take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Take care, Eric. ::hugs:: Unlike some of your followers, I’m not much for prayer, but I will think good thoughts for you and when you feel up to writing again, I’ll be here.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Hi Eric,
We have never discussed this, but I want you to know that I have struggled with clinical depression since the age of 19. I was in college at UCLA at the time. I dropped out of school in the winter semester of 1960, then married a handsome young doctor whom I had met only four months prior. After that, an unexpected pregnancy, the birth of a stillborn daughter, and a divorce a year later thrust me into a depression and hospitalization in 1960 and the early part of 1961.
During that time, I had to have several electroshock treatments — really worthy of the movie “Snake Pit” if you’ve ever seen that film. I still remember being injected with a powerful drug to immobilize me prior to the electrodes being activated… I still have nightmares about it.
Luckily, I have been able to maintain myself for most of my life on Pamelor (nortriptyline), one of the older tricyclic medicines. The drug has several difficult side effects, but it works for me. I have had other brief hospitalizations at stressful periods of my life, the most recent one in 1991 prior to the death of my mother when a highly important job I had held for almost 10 years was coming to an end.
I have found that opening up to other people and telling them the truth about my mental health issues has been very important to me. I joined a Massachusetts group called the Manic Depressive and Depressive Association (MDDA) that met on the ground of the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. It’s the place where the singer James Taylor was hospitalized and wrote a famous song. We all recognize that there may be a real link between creativity and these kinds of psychological illnesses. You’re a very sensitive and imaginative young man. Perhaps there is strength in numbers as you consider all the fascinating people who struggle (or struggled) with depression in its many forms.
I wish you all the best as you regulate your medications. Please understand that there are millions of other people out here who understand your situation and are completely sympathetic to what you are going through. Counseling with a sympathetic professions and group therapy has helped me at various times. If that is available to you, perhaps you might consider that as one of your options. I’d be pleased to speak with you at any time about my experiences. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.
Warm regards,
EK
Tweet me right! http://twitter.com/Radio_Lady
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Feel better, Eric. Treat yourself to a snuggie and some choicken noodle soup! By the way, thanks so much for thinking of us.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I had something similar happen to me several years ago. At that time, for me, it was Paxil, and I happened to be in Disney World, of all places. It was the worst I’ve ever felt. I had to wear sunglasses in the dark just so my family couldn’t see my eyes. That’s all I’ll say about it because I get down just thinking about it.
Point is, take all the time you need. That you were able to recognize the symptoms early is a big plus. I’m not the praying type, but I’ll pass it along to friends at church.
You’ve made it through many a Tyler Perry movie, you can make it through this.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Eric,
It’s obvious you have a lot of loving fans and have touched us with your honesty. Thank you for being you and sharing you with us.
Take all the time you need. I’ll be here, with the rest of your fans, when you return.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Eric, take all the time you need. Your writing has been a huge influence on my own and a big part of my life for a long time. Thanks for all the years of entertainment, and here’s to many more if and when you feel better.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
This is the worst review of Transformers yet. We get it, you hate the movie.
To soon?
Seriously, good luck man, you are a very talented writer and I enjoy reading everything you write. My friends and I refer to you by first name “Eric said…”
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/06/29/funny-pictures-care-who-knew-it/
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Sounds like you know what you need–keep taking care of yourself! I’m glad things are now on the up… Best wishes!
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 pm
You’re in our thoughts and prayers, Eric. Been there and it sucks. Take as much time as you need. Through the power of the internet, we can all go back and read archives till you’re back!
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
My wife had to take Lexapro for a while, but shortly after us getting married she was able to drop it cold-turkey. Your solution, therefore, is obvious: marry me.
In all seriousness, I hope everything stabilizes for you soon.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Eric,
I have enjoyed reading your writings for more than twelve years now, and I never suspected or guessed at the struggles you’ve just disclosed. I’m sorry if anything I’ve written has annoyed you in the past. While I don’t always agree completely with your positions, I appreciate and admire your writing above anyone else’s that I’ve yet encountered, except possibly for Shakespeare’s. (Your writing is much more accessible, however). Maybe that indicates I ought have more refined tastes, but I’ve read a lot, I know what I like, and I like you. I always have and I imagine I always will. Thank you for your prodigious output in the past. Thank you for combining intelligence and humor in that unique blend of yours. Thank you for the incredible self-motivation and drive which it must take to create and provide so much material, qualities which I have always admired in you, and hoped to emulate in some way myself. Thank you for confronting your critics and in the process teaching us all a few lessons about the dangers of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. Thank you for reaching out so consistently to your fan community, and for making many of us feel like we weren’t just fans, but friends. Thank you for sharing all the cool stuff you’ve been able to do. As your brief but thoroughly enlightening biography used to say, “Life is just so fun.” Thanks for teaching me that.
While I hope the road to recovery is a quick one, particularly for your sake, know that I and many others will still be here as you do return to full strength, hanging on every word.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:33 am
I enjoy your blog and especially your bad movie columns very much. I wish you all the best and a quick recovery.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Hey Eric, take it easy man. If anyone gives you a hard time about this you send them my way. I’m glad you don’t have dysentery and that a wheel didn’t fall of your wagon.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
September 4th, 2009 at 12:53 am
First of all, I’m very disappointed that “poop-out syndrome” is not something you get from drinking the water in Mexico. Hrmm. Still: “poop-out.” Hee hee!
Second of all, as a fellow depression sufferer, I know the value of time off. (You could probably mark my ups and downs by looking at my review post dates and the long gaps in between.) So yeah, take all the time you need, etc., etc., and remember we’re rooting for you.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
I love you.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Thanks for the honest glimpse into your life. Although I don’t have clinical depression, this helps me understand better those in my family who do.
I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself.
September 4th, 2009 at 2:04 am
What a wonderful clear description of depression. I’m so glad you know it’s a health issue and treat it as such.
I hope you can take all the time you need.
where would we go?
September 4th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Thank you very much for sharing.
Take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
September 4th, 2009 at 5:00 am
You know, some of the funniest and most creative people in history suffered from bouts of depression. You are in good company. Be kind to yourself. You are of great value to the world. Remember, you deserve your love and affection as much as anyone else in the universe.
September 4th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Eric,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m sure it’s anything but easy for you.
By all means, take all the time you need to get better, and we’ll be right here when you’re ready. Others have said this, but our thoughts and prayers are indeed with you–we want you to know and believe that. We want you happy and healthy, and whatever you need to do to get there is what you should do. Don’t worry yourself about us at all. In fact, if there’s anything more we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask us. Over the years, you’ve given us so much joy and entertainment, and we want to feel like we’re helping.
Take care of yourself, and may God bless you.
September 4th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Thank you for everything: your wit, wisdom, talent, honesty, and courage. Even when I haven’t agreed with you (doesn’t happen often), I’ve admired the way you express yourself. You will not lose your readers by taking all the time you need. We are there for you, as you have been for us, through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yes, I one of the praying people and I’ll definitely be talking to God about you. Lots of love to you.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Thanks for all the enjoyment you’ve brought into our lives so far and thanks in advance for that you’ll bring again when the time comes. I’m pretty sure that God created RSS feeds precisely so your loyal readers can hang on without fear of missing your comeback while you take ALL the time you need. We’ll be patiently waiting and enjoying the wealth of Eric D. Snider classics in the meantime!
September 4th, 2009 at 6:28 am
Sometimes I wonder if the cause of all of our problems is the perception that we have problems. Life really is better than we make it out to be.
I know people in your shoes and I’ve seen them suffer. I have never experienced it myself nor have I truly understood it. Now that you have explained this ailment so beautifully, I’ll go forward being more aware and more understanding.
Thank you and I’m praying for you and the millions that suffer with you.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:29 am
We love you, Eric!
September 4th, 2009 at 6:44 am
And here I thought you had Swine Flu!
No, seriously, I thought from your tweets that it was something physical rather than emotional… not that that makes it any less crippling. I’m glad you recognized it for what it was and didn’t do anything rash.
As someone who’s been reading you since the BYU years, I can say with some confidence that the Interwebs would be a poorer place indeed without you. Take as much time as you need to get back on your feet; we’ll be here.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Eric,
You have always been the greatest at writing. You didn’t have to explain but you let us in your lives. Thank you. When you return. We we cheer your success! While you are working out the more important recovery… we’ll pray for you. You are fantastic!
September 4th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Thanks for sharing your experience; your honesty is inspiring. Here’s your big virtual hug from a complete stranger.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Perfectly stated and refreshingly honest amidst all the forced “happy happy joy joy” out there. Sometimes in that situation it seems that the easiest thing to do is let yourself go and sink into that pit, and you have no interest in the work required to claw your way back to the surface. Kudos for recognizing the problem and having the strength to do something about it. All the internet love and prayers our family can provide….
September 4th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Eric – as with all the others posting, I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon. I’m glad you were able to deal with the problem in a logical way and get the help you need. Thank you for keeping us all laughing for these many years, and know that all of your faithful readers will be here whenever you return to us, waiting with open virtual arms. Take all the time in the world, we always have the archives if we need them!
September 4th, 2009 at 7:35 am
We’ve never met, but I’ve been a fan since The Daily Universe. I love Snide Remarks, but I care more about you. Please take whatever time you need. I’ve been praying for you, and I hope you feel better soon.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Eric,
I’ve been reading your brilliant and hilarious writing since your Daily Universe days, through the Daily Herald mess and up to the present. I love your incredible talent and it flat-out just makes me happy. It has brought me genuine laughs and smiles time and again over these years and I cannot thank you enough for it.
Your bravery and honesty is not only commendable, it is nothing short of an incredibly powerful way to reach and help SO many others. There are many of us who have never dealt with depression but have watched helplessly as our loved ones have had to fight this battle– along with the battle of prejudice and misinformation–the stigma and taboo that sometimes goes along with this challenge.
I am so impressed by your candor and willingness to share this personal battle. It reminds me of Roger Ebert — another great writer and great indidvidual– who recently opened up about his personal battle with alcoholism, Many thought it was misguided or irresponsible, but the sheer number of people he helped by doing this was amazing!
Thanks again, Eric! Take all the time you need, feel better– we’ll all be here when you get back!
September 4th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Thanks for sharing this Eric. I’ve never suffered from depression, and this was a helpful explanation of what you are feeling.
We’ll be here when you’re ready.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I’ll be thinking about/praying for you. Your writing helped me smile through some difficult moments. Feel better soon.
September 4th, 2009 at 8:04 am
Have you tried some natural dietary alternatives? …… if you haven’t then I urge you to do some research. The E3live ( basically blue/green algae), Gaba and Raw chocolate combo changed my life. Do your own research , there are smarter people than me that you can talk to or read about that offer some great info on this subject.
For the people who will surely respond to this and tell me I’m nuts and that I don’t understand what it is like to suffer from depression let me say that I have tried almost every anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med available ( including lexipro) and nothing produced anything close to the results I have had from taking these natural supplements. Nothing came close. It worked for me and for others I have met and spoken with and I think all of us who have this weird condition deserve to know there are things you can try that don’t involve being a guinea pig for a big pharma company. Don’t knock it till you have tried it.
that said
Hope you find something that works for you real soon , whatever it is.
Love you buddy !
September 4th, 2009 at 8:11 am
“I was rational enough to know that my thoughts were not rational.”
If only we all could be so perceptive.
September 4th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Please know that I’ll be missing that sarcastic wit of yours, as well as your valuable (no kidding!) insight into films, but you need to take care of yourself and feel better. There’s no replacement for you in my mind, so I’ll be here when you return. And while I’m not religious, I believe in prayer, and mine are with you.
September 4th, 2009 at 8:34 am
We TOTALLY will be here when you get back. And not just here, either, but at all the other places you write.
And, as someone else said, in the meantime we have the archives!
Good luck!
September 4th, 2009 at 9:04 am
It was very brave of you to be so open about your situation. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Thank you for updating us on your situation, and I appreciate your honesty in sharing how you have been feeling. I love your writing. It is hilarious, but yes, worth the wait.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:10 am
When I say but, I mean and.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Hope you feel better soon. We’ll be thinking and praying for you.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I have been a fan of yours since the early ’90s. I considered the article you wrote mocking the two teenage Titanic female fans (I believe they were upset at your Titanic article mocking Leonardo D’s acting ability) as one of the greatest literary works of all time. This article surpasses that because of the honesty. Well done and thank you.
Take your time and get better. I hope to be a fan in another 15 years, so keep it up when you can.
All the best.
Mark
September 4th, 2009 at 9:20 am
As is common, you say things as well as they can be said: Take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
September 4th, 2009 at 9:30 am
I’ve been reading you for years, and obviously it’s worth the wait. Take all the time you need. I’m not much on praying, but my thoughts will be on you.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:01 am
So glad your illness is treatable. Recover well. Another one of your many readers who is praying for you.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Take the time you need and make sure you relax! You are in my thoughts and I wish you well.
I know how horrible depression can be. Not only did I have it myself very badly for 7 years, but my mother and brother both are bi-polar, so I’ve experienced very bad bouts of depression first hand and second hand. Like my husband said above, I was able to “snap” out of it when we got married (thank goodness too, cause Lexapro made me gain 70 pounds in 3 months when I switched from Prozac)… though I also moved from rainy Portland to sunny Utah and started exercising more consistently.
I was surprised to find that exercise actually helps lessen the symptoms of depression for me. My new Utah doctor was the one to suggest it (though none of my past doctors had mentioned it) and I did some research and found that it can actually be very effective in helping control anxiety and depression. So I started doing that, and shortly thereafter I was able to quit the drugs. I’m not sure how well it combats the natural depressiveness of Portland rain, but I thought I’d throw it out there to you as an idea, if you aren’t already doing it.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043
I wish you the best, Eric. I enjoy your fabulous writing ability and you bring joy to my life, even though I don’t know you personally. I feel like we’re kindred spirits though, since I have also been a Clinically Depressed Portland Mormon.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Take as much time off as you need, Eric. I hope all the support from your loyal readers make you feel better. I just want you to thank you for giving me all the wonderful reviews, Snide Remarks, blog posts and….. well, I’ve enjoyed all of your work.
Your thoughts and prayers from another loving stranger.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Long time lurker, third time poster (or something like that)
I’ve been reading you for 3 or 4 years, Eric, and really enjoy your work. Take as much time as you need, however, to get back to feeling good again. You’ll still be in my Google Reader.
Thanks for being forthright about what you’ve been going through. It helps me to know how to help my friends that have depression and lets us all know that things like this happen but that help is available.
I’m praying for you.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Your columns and movie reviews have been a source of comfort and cheer to me through the many ups and downs since my nervous breakdown and diagnosis 5 years ago. Know that you are loved and that you deserve all the rest you need.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Best wishes, Eric. I appreciate your sense of humor in my dark times and yours!
September 4th, 2009 at 11:45 am
we’ll all be here.
take the time that you need.
thanks for consistently and thoughtfully making me laugh.
prayers being sent your way.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I hope you get to feeling better soon, Eric! I am sure your fan club is sending only the best energy your way. We look forward to the times to come, after you make a good recovery.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Take your time. Everyone will wait for you. I really know exactly how you feel. I say that it like someone opened the hole to hell, kicked me in and locked the gate after me. The lower kingdom can’t be worse than severe depression. My nice Paxil pill daily keeps me out of that hole.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Take your time… a simple tweet, and I’ll be right back here reading.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Thank you for your honesty. My husband gets your feeds, and because of what I have been going through the last few weeks, he encouraged me to read your post. I didn’t realize meds could just stop working. My appointment this afternoon will hopefully result in a new med that will help me get back to myself again.
Thank you for sharing.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Good luck! Your fans are thinking about you and hoping the best for you.
September 4th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Cipralex for two years, and I needed something since I was a teenager. Gerard Manley Hopkins, “No Worst, There is None”. Big Ska-Weezie hugs from Canada. Take care of yourself first, let us stew a while. It’ll make the comeback all the sweeter.
Also, if finances are getting tight, do you have temporary disability down there? If so, you should qualify. That is if you have the energy to find out.
Love you Eric. You’re not alone in this. Remember that.
September 4th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Hey Eric,
I’ve visited your website almost every single day for ten years. I hope that some of the happiness and humor that you’ve brought to your readers is returned to you.
Get well.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Eric, I’m not much of a prayer but I will for you. Truly take all the time you need.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Hey, Eric, been a fan since the Daily Universe. I know you don’t know me (heck, you probably don’t personally know MOST of us posters), but I hope that the wishes of all these “anonymous fans” will help you see just how much of a positive impact you have! You’re not alone and we all love you!
Thanks for your courage & honesty–I’m not sure I would have had the guts to write what you have! I’ve had family members on anti-depressants as well, and your article has given me more perspective on their situations too.
Hope you find plenty of time for yourself in the next several days/weeks, doing what brings you happiness, whether it be taking a long walk or eating tons of chocolate–whatever! Best wishes.
September 4th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Take care and take all the time you need. Writing is one of those things that requires a certain mood and this is especially true of humor writing. Meanwhile we have plenty of funny in the archives to tide us over.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I rarely comment but I love reading your posts. Take all the time you need and I’ll be here when you get back. I even remember reading you in the Provo Daily Herald back in the 90s. Thank you for all you write about a fun hobby of mine, and thanks for describing a real disease that many people face.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Good luck, Eric. I’ll look forward to your return if it’s ten years.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Wishing you well, Eric.
-Other Eric
September 4th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Eric, Your columns and reviews are the most hilarious I’ve ever read and I will wait for you to return no matter how long it takes. Please take care!
September 4th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I’ve never commented on here before, but by all means, take off all the time you need. I don’t think I’ve found ANYTHING on the Internet as funny as your columns, and that’s saying a heck of a lot. After all the amazing writing you’ve been doing over the years, you deserve every bit as long of a break as you need. And fortunately, there are enough columns of yours that I haven’t read to keep me laughing for far longer than I can imagine you ever being out for!
Best of wishes, and I’ll be praying for you. I also have depression issues, though not nearly as serious as yours seem to be. And thanks for sharing this with us! I appreciate the transparency.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
I completely understand too Eric. I’m a fellow movie critic and I’ve been reading your stuff for quite a while. I have depression as well and on certain days I feel my Lexapro doesn’t work. Hang in there.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Eric, thank you for having the courage to share this. You are an inspiration to this fellow sufferer. Take all the time you need!!
September 5th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Take all the time you need to get well, and we値l be waiting for you when you get back!
September 5th, 2009 at 10:51 am
All these nice comments bring tears to an old mother’s eye. Thank you, everyone, for being so supportive! I know it helps.
September 5th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Poop-out–that is exactly what is happening to my mom’s husband. Unfortunately, he isn’t rational enough to let his doctor know about it.
Glad you are on the way to feeling better!
September 5th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Eric:
I am not a usual poster, but I have been a dedicated reader since your Daily Universe days when I was at BYU. Your columns always made me laugh then and you have provided no shortage of smiles and laughs in the years since. Thanks for always brightening my days. Thank you, too, for your honesty and candor regarding your depression. It has helped me better understand what I have never been able to understand when watching loved ones suffer.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that my prayers are with you for as long as you need them and that I’m not going anywhere…Take all the time you need!
September 5th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I’m happy whenever I hear people openly talking about depression and mental illness instead of sweeping it under the rug. I know many people can relate — especially those who have worked at The Daily Herald. Am I right?
Take all the time you need. I’ll be praying for you.
September 5th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Eric,
I have occasional depression but nothing clinical, but something about this video always takes the edge off of it. Maria Bamford is a comedian with pretty debilitating depression, OCD and what-have-you, and often mines this territory in very cathartic ways for people like me who occasionally suffer from the same:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCqDReW8f_s&feature=PlayList&p=CF6EFFE11CCECFB0&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=48
I’ve had to put things on hold for similar reasons, so I’ll just tell you as you request to take all the time that you need and only contribute new material when it feels natural and appropriate to do so. Godspeed Eric!
September 5th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Eric, from someone who deals with mental illness every day (my spouse suffers) I wish you the best. I hope the outpouring of love in these comments lifts your spirits. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
September 5th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
God bless you. Depression sucks. I hope you are feeling better soon (whilst simultaneously taking all the time you need, as we will wait as long as it takes). Take care of yourself.
September 5th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
We can be as patient as you need us to be. ^_^ Even though (for me) being patient can be hard. (But I am determined to look upon this as an opportunity for personal growth. ^_^)
It’s WAY more important that you take care of yourself.
We’re hoping that you feel better as soon as can be!
September 5th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Eric, after many years of following your career from the L.E. ward bulletin days to the Daily Herald era, to everything you are currently bringing your immense talents to, know that you are loved and deeply appreciated by many. Do what you need to do to become well, and take all the time necessary. You will certainly be remembered in our thoughts and prayers.
September 6th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Hi Eric,
I really hope you get better soon. You’re reviews are incredible, and I will miss them. Take all the time you need, and come back even better (if that’s possible) than before.
Best Regards,
Brittany
September 6th, 2009 at 4:00 am
Hi mate
To talk openly about your depression takes great courage and honesty. These are, of course, qualities that are strong in your writing. As a long-term reader and admirer of your work, I’d rather you simply take care of yourself – that’s what is most important – than rush back to writing.
I’m a Buddhist, so I’ll bear you in my meditation rather than pray, but hope you are soon able to take the highs and the lows of daily life with equanimity.
Steve G, Sydney, Australia
September 6th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I was thinking about Mormon Man and BYU Boy the other day. NCMO!
Just one of the many great memories I have in my life because of Eric D. Snider.
Be well, sir.
September 6th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I recently climbed out of a hole, and now I’m trying to look back in so I can remember what someone could have said to make me feel better…
One thing that helps me is to find something very small and very simple that is new to me. I’ll hold something in my hands and notice the texture for the very first time, or lay down in the corner of a room so I can see the space from a whole new angle. That way I can remind myself that life is still full of discovery and therefore I should keep going.
Anyway, get well soon. <3
September 6th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Eric, thanks for explaining this so perfectly. Take all the time you need.
September 6th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Eric,
All this going on in your life and you take time out to think of us? You’re such a sport. Take all the time you need, that goes without saying. I for one will be here when you get back. *hugs*
September 6th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I’ll be here as a faithful reader when you’re ready to come back, E. Take it easy.
September 7th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Hey Eric — Take all the time you need. You will be in my prayers.
September 7th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I’ve followed you since you were at BYU and I can of course wait until you are back to your Snide ol’ self! Best of luck and God Bless~
September 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Thank you for sharing, Eric. I have several people close to me who suffer/have suffered from clinical depression, and I have bouts of mild depression myself from time to time, so I know how tough that can be, and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it right now. I hope you realize how loved you are and that everyone is more interested in your well-being than how frequently you post to your website
September 8th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Your AuntX and I both always wish the best for you and you are in our prayers. Of course we will be here when you get back.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Eric, hang in there and take all the time you need to get out of this mood-pocket.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Eric,
Thanks for being an anti-depressant for many of us over these many years (since BYU for me). I wish you the best as you re-establish the equilibrium in your life. Many of us have been there too. I gain strength (when I start heading in that direction) in knowing that I’ve made it back before. So glad that you are getting the help that you need – you’re in our prayers.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I got on your site today desperately looking for a laugh to pick me up out of an episode of depression, but this was much more helpful. Hope you feel better soon, and I’ll definitely be here when you get back.
September 8th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Best wishes Eric. God bless you in your endeavors. I’ll be right here when you get back.
September 8th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Take some time for yourself! we’ll just hang out here, mingling and chatting about how cool you are and stuff. pass the pretzels.
September 9th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I can’t say it better than anyone else already has, but I just wanted to chime in and wish you well. I’ve been there too, and depression is no fun. You’re smart to take the time you need to negotiate this new bump in the road. Thank you for sharing so candidly.
Hang in there!
September 10th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Just wanted to add to the well wishing. I’m currently in that same dark place and too embarrassed about it to talk to many people (aside from therapy and doc). I think you are brave to be so open. And it is nice to have other people to relate to, even if I don’t know you personally.
Good luck. I think that if you were rational enough to know your thoughts were irrational, then you are rational enough to know that you can find something else that works for you. Take all the time for YOU that you need. That’s the most important thing. Your readers will stick around for as long as it takes.
September 10th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I sing that same song Eric. Hope things look brighter soon.
September 10th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I’ll be here when you are…
September 12th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Take your time. Depression is a terrifying beast. The proper medication and time in the sun helped me.
September 17th, 2009 at 7:17 am
I stumbled across this website by accident over 8 years ago. I cannot tell you the amount of times I was upset/angry/depressed in the office/home/school and turned to this site for a good laugh. Thank you for your work. I will be sure to pray for you tonight.
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I can completely relate. The very same thing happened to me after more that 13 years of maintenance and control two years ago. Completely threw me for a loup. Mine was event-related, however. I could feel it coming on but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Only those that have experienced this know what you are talking about. It’s a terrible and awful episode to ride out. Be patient with yourself and take the time you need to get stable. You’ll probably lose your self-confidence for a few weeks or months, but it will pass. Best of luck on the new meds. I’m praying for you.
November 24th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
My husband and I were big fans of Snide Remarks when we were at BYU 10 years ago, and I just rediscovered you a few days ago. I am another fellow sufferer and just wanted to say thanks for sharing your experience and for doing what you do. It’s always encouraging to me to hear someone share so openly about something that still has such stigma attached to it. I hope you have found something that continues to work for you and that you know that you make a difference in your readers’ lives.