Women misunderstands Bible; thinks getting fingerprinted is “mark of the beast”; is also a schoolteacher. http://bit.ly/48wZmv

When you get a call from @scotteweinberg, the best you can hope for is what just happened to me: he handed the phone to @jenyamato.

Also, why does seeing a rainbow make me wonder if my mother has died? This is why: http://bit.ly/4DqPWR

The biggest, brightest rainbow I’ve ever seen in my life is hanging over N. Portland right now, probably leading to a pot of pot.

@ranielle Tragically, no. It came from someone claiming to be a real film critic, with her own website and everything.

“Since Dicken’s penned his short story of A Christmas Carol in 1908…” // #moviecriticFAIL #twiceinonesentence

“Zooey Deschanel’s most notable role was the sister in ALMOST FAMOUS.” // #knowingwhatyouaretalkingaboutFAIL

Wow, it is raining like the proverbial mofo, and I mean the actual mofo described in the book of Proverbs.