Archive for May 28th, 2010
I know this is an uncomfortable subject, but Gary Coleman actually was only 3/5 of a person.
A brain hemorrhage? That’s not diff’rent at all.
So there’s “Sex and the City 2” (review at Cinematical). That happened. It’s 2 1/2 hours long, which is just uncalled for, and even shallower and more superficial than before.
In slightly better news, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” (review at Film.com) is a modestly entertaining adventure movie, along the lines of “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “The Mummy,” though not as good. It’s a C+ movie: don’t see it on purpose, but don’t actively avoid it either.
In “Eric’s Bad Movies” at Film.com, I covered “Exorcist II: The Heretic,” notorious for being one of the worst sequels to a good movie in all of Christendom. Some friends of mine that I hadn’t seen in a while said they wanted to hang out and watch a Bad Movie with me, so I obliged with this. I don’t know why they wanted to do that, but I bet they won’t make the same mistake again. One of them took the easy way out by falling asleep, like a coward.
Speaking of devil women, I addressed “All About Eve” in “What’s the Big Deal?” at Film.com, a really funny and sharp comedy from 1950. Bette Davis, whose face always looked like it was melting, is fantasgreat.
At Cinematical, my “Cinemaligion” column is about “Contact,” from 1997. This installment is a little looser than some of the previous ones. It might even have funny parts, kind of, under certain loose definitions of “funny.”
Also at Cinematical this week, I talked about why “MacGruber” tanked at the box office.
And at Film.com, I suggested four product ideas better than the Bella Swan “Twilight” engagement ring, which is a real thing that you can buy. I actually suggested five products, but one was deemed a little too harsh for Film.com. EricDSnider.com isn’t nearly as discerning, though, so here it is:
Baby Sucks-a-Lot, the Vampire Doll. Given the current limitations of biology, it is unlikely that you will ever be impregnated with a vampiric fetus and enjoy the experience of carrying it to term, letting it chew its way out of you, and so forth. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a vampire baby, at least for pretendsies! Baby Sucks-a-Lot looks like a regular baby doll, except with fangs and sparkly vampire skin. Attach the fangs to the Baby Sucks-a-Lot Blood Bottle (sold separately) and watch her drink the precious fluid down, down, down! All babies slowly leech the life out of their parents, but Baby Sucks-a-Lot does it like a real vampire would: adorably! (Warning: Do not breastfeed Baby Sucks-a-Lot.)
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