Here are your instructions. First, see “Toy Story 3,” if you haven’t already done so. If you have seen it, then you are permitted to see “Knight and Day,” a fairly good action comedy starring Tom Cruise as a crazy federal agent and Cameron Diaz as the civilian who gets tangled up with him.
If you’ve seen “Toy Story 3″ and “Knight and Day,” and then “Toy Story 3″ a second time, and then everything else that’s currently playing, then … you are still not permitted to see “Grown Ups.” I’m sorry, but we have to have rules. Adam Sandler and his pals put forth very little effort to make the film; there’s no reason to reward them for their laziness.
What you could do instead, though, is read the “Grown Ups” pitch meeting transcript I created for Film.com. It’s funnier than the movie, which isn’t even saying much.
Speaking of bad movies, “Eric’s Bad Movies” at Film.com is about “The Manitou.” What a treasure this is! It’s about a woman who has a tumor on her neck, and the tumor turns out to be a fetus, and not just any old fetus but that of an evil Indian shaman trying to reincarnate himself so he can wreak vengeance. I am forever grateful to whichever weird readers informed me of this movie’s existence, as it is the perfect “Eric’s Bad Movies” candidate: bad but not boring, insane but straight-faced, and featuring a couple of recognizable stars.
“What’s the Big Deal?” at Film.com is about “Casablanca.” I always thought the Big Dealness of “Casablanca” was self-evident, but then several people suggested it when I asked for ideas a few months back. Apparently it is possible to watch “Casablanca” and NOT adore it! How strange it is that people have experiences that are different from mine.
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