@scottEweinberg Haha, no, but I can see why you’d think that. (*Now* I’m mocking you.)

I don’t want to be the “needy” friend, but why isn’t everyone catering to my every whim, at all times? Give me one good reason.

Mel Gibson’s new mixtape is OK, but I prefer his earlier stuff.

I laughed loudly and often at CHILDRENS HOSPITAL on Adult Swim. Inappropriate for the Sabbath. @robcorddry‘s post-show comments esp. funny.

The joke was about Nicole Kidman. Can’t remember it word-for-word, but I’m confident it’s not actually funny in real life.

Dreamed I wrote a “Weekend Update” joke that @sethmeyers21 loved. It’s great to make funny people laugh, even if only in my dreams.

Dreamed I wrote a “Weekend Update” joke that @sethmeyers21 loved. It’s great to make funny people laugh, even if only in my dreams.