My sainted mother, known colloquially as Momma Snider, is having her knee replaced today! Wouldn’t you like to post a comment wishing her a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness??

To answer some questions:

Yes, she is having it done professionally, by doctors.

Yes, the new knee will be made of Wolverine-patented adamantium, and will have super powers, including WiFi.

No, she doesn’t get to keep the old knee in a jar.

No, the knee did not have to be replaced due to a basketball injury.

Yes, one of the perks of having a knee made of metal is that now she will ALWAYS get an extra pat-down at the airport.

No, the knee was not shattered by a loan shark’s baseball bat.

Yes, she has Netflix Instant to keep her occupied while she’s couch-bound and recovering.

No, there isn’t anything Mom likes more in the world than sitting around anyway.

Yes, my dad and my sister Joy, who lives nearby, will wait on her hand and foot.

No, my brother Chris, who lives nearby, will not, because he’s a bastard.

Yes, my mom loves the word “bastard.”

Wouldn’t you like to post a comment wishing her a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness??