NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Cars 2″ (C-)
“Bad Teacher” (C) [Film.com]
“Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop” (B+)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Lost in Space” (1998). The very picture of a bloated, pointless big-screen version of a TV show. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Virgin Spring” (1960). Wes Craven’s “The Last House on the Left” was inspired by this much more artsy-fartsy Ingmar Bergman work. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Not Another Teen Movie” (2001). In the fourth installment of this new column, I finally locate a movie on which my opinion has completely reversed itself. This is very exciting. [Film.com]

Unsettling Questions Raised by the Alternate Reality in “Cars.” [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Stand in the Place Where You Work” — No more sitting down on the job.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Cars 2,” “Bad Teacher,” and “Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop,” plus a game of Interquel and some obsessing over the “Cars” universe. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

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MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

It seems likely that the famously reclusive and eccentric Hollywood analyst Nikki Finke probably makes up a lot of the quotes she uses. [Pajiba]

If you didn’t care for “Green Lantern,” perhaps you’ll think that Robert Smigel’s comedy version — which would have starred Jack Black — would have been better. [Vanity Fair]

Rob McElhenney, who plays Mack on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” has gained 50 pounds for the new season. Why? Because fat dudes are funnier. [Warming Glow]

A handy flow chart to determine whether you should forward that email. [dgls.pls.blg]

Chainsaw Suit is one of the web comics I read regularly. This one in particular made me laugh. [Chainsaw Suit]

And then there’s the breakdancing gorilla. [YouTube]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Green Lantern” (B-)
“Mr. Popper’s Penguins” (D-) [Film.com]
“The Art of Getting By” (C-)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Freejack” (1992). You know how sometimes you’re a race-car driver who gets pulled into the future to have an old man’s brain put in him? It’s like that. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “MASH” (1970). The movie version was a lot R-rated-er than the TV version. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Man on the Moon” (1999). Waiting 11 1/2 years to see it a second time certainly changed things. [Film.com]

Merchandising Opportunities That ‘Cars 2′ Missed. [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Goodwill Hunting” — Shopping with the great unwashed.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: There’s talk of “Green Lantern,” “Mr. Popper’s Penguins,” “The Art of Getting By,” and “The Trip,” plus Pitch Me and assorted nonsense. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

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MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Conan O’Brien’s commencement speech at Dartmouth is very funny, and then very true. [Dartmouth]

That voice coming from the Woody doll isn’t Tom Hanks. [Movies.com]

Austin artist Yehudi Mercado created a poster for the movie-within-a-movie in “Super 8.” [The poster] [The blog it came from]

A TV anchor tries to tell the Dalai Lama a joke. It goes poorly. [Gawker]

… which reminded me of this. [Snide Remarks]

Want to know what Steve Urkel thinks? Oh yes, you do! [Vanity Fair]

The many faces of Ron Swanson. [Flying Scotsman]

Adorably, a lioness tries to eat a baby. [Via]

Sandy Kenyon is a super-cheesy TV movie critic in New York. For some reason, this fellow does parodies of him. They always crack me up. Here’s the latest, in which “Sandy” reviews twist ties. [Sandy Kenyon Reviews the World]

OK, here’s the real Sandy Kenyon actually reviewing “Inception.” You can see why people would parody him. [WABC]

What Anthony Weiner should have learned from David Letterman’s scandal. [Daily Beast]

“The Office” recut as an ’80s-style sitcom. [YouTube]

Your Superhero-Movie Bingo card. [NPR]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Super 8″ (B+)
“The Trip” (B)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Hawk the Slayer” (1980). A true gem in the Bad Movies crown, and one I’d never heard of until one of you knuckleheads suggested it. Who was it? C’mon, fess up. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “Tokyo Story” (1953). This is an interesting case of a movie that’s extremely well-regarded in certain circles of film nerdery, while your average man on the street has never heard of it, I think. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Kung Pow: Enter the Fist” (2002). The flip side of this new column is that I hardly ever re-watch movies I hated (because why would I?), but many of them have ardent supporters. Will a second screening several years later change my mind? “Re-Views” will alternate week to week between re-watching movies I loved the first time, and re-watching movies I hated the first time. You take the good; you take the bad; you take them both, and there you have the facts of life. [Film.com]

Blu-Ray Review: The Superman Motion Picture Anthology: 1978-2006. I reviewed this nifty new box set. [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “The Summer TV Preview” — What to watch when nothing else is on.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Super 8,” “The Tree of Life,” and “Beginners” (which Jeff saw and I didn’t). There’s also discussion of the Alamo Drafthouse no-texting thing (linked below) and assorted other nonsense. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

Legion of News: I filled in for Dawn Taylor as sidekick to Rick Emerson on Wednesday’s edition of this program, which is daily news and commentary and stuff. It was fun. [Cascadia.fm]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

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MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

The Alamo Drafthouse, a movie theater that is also a national treasure, has a firm no-talking/no-texting policy. If you disrupt other patrons and someone complains about you, the staff will politely warn you. Do it again and you get tossed out. This young lady kept texting despite repeated warnings, got evicted, then left a drunken and hilarious voice mail for the Drafthouse. (She lies and says she was just using the phone as a flashlight to find her seat, not texting; then says she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to text; then says she should be allowed to text because she does it everywhere.) The Drafthouse is using her voice mail as its new pre-show “don’t talk or text during the movie” ad. [Alamo Drafthouse]

Then CNN’s Anderson Cooper talked about it and praised the Drafthouse for actually DOING something to address the common complaint that moviegoing is frequently ruined by other patrons. [CNN]

Then Drafthouse founder/CEO/lunatic Tim League explained the policy further. [CNN]

Brian Salisbury, heir to the delicious steak fortune, uses “High Noon” as the starting point for a new column about how movies teach us lessons in manliness. [Movies.com]

What happens when you ride your bike in the bike lane? Hilarity. [Break]

My old friend and high school classmate Craig Bates dusted off something he wrote a couple years ago: Worst. Commencement. Speech. Ever. [Craigbates]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“X-Men: First Class” (A-) [Film.com]
“Midnight in Paris” (B+)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Teen Wolf Too” (1987). Let’s be honest, the first “Teen Wolf” wasn’t exactly a great movie anyway, but this sequel — ugh. It fits this week because there’s a new “Teen Wolf” TV series starting on MTV, and because the Beast character in “X-Men: First Class” reminds me of Teen Wolf. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Battle of Algiers” (1966). One of those “important and lauded war-related foreign films” to which I finally got around to paying some attention. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Mystic River” (2003). New weekly column! The idea is this: I choose a movie that I reviewed at least six years ago, and that I gave an A or A- review, but that I never watched a second time. There’s a finite list of movies that meet those criteria, which is nice, because I like finite lists of things. The concept will be more fully explored in next week’s edition. [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Mysterious Kin” — Keeping your baby’s gender a secret.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “X-Men: First Class,” “Midnight in Paris,” and “13 Assassins,” plus for some reason I talk to Jeff’s niece and nephew, and we play a game of Interquel. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

Reject Radio: Alleged host “Cole Abaius” had me on to talk about the appeal of bad movies. [Film School Rejects]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Matt Singer selects the 25 oldest-looking teenagers in movie history, and provides photographic evidence. [IFC]

A dozen notable post-credits scenes from movies, courtesy of Patches McPatches. [Film School Rejects]

Will Goss, who is kind of funny sometimes, describes the plots of the next four “Hangover” movies. [Film.com]

Everyone should have this kid’s attitude: “I feel happy of myself! … If you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike!” [Vulture]

Well, of course Leslie Nielsen’s gravestone has a fart joke. [Sun Sentinel]

Did you know that if you slow an informercial down to half-speed and add creepy music and sound effects, it becomes terrifying? [YouTube]

I don’t speak Greek, but I assume the topic being discussed here is mental healthcare for the elderly. [YouTube]