Eric’s Bad Movies needs suggestions
I write a column called Eric’s Bad Movies every week at Film.com. The premise is that I watch a bad movie and then make fun of it. It’s not very complicated. But finding bad movies to write about can be tricky. That’s where you come in!
It’s time once again to ask you fine people for suggestions. These are very, very useful to me. Of the 179 (!) EBM columns I’ve done so far, easily 30 percent were films I’d never heard of until readers suggested them. So keep up the good work! In fact, WORK HARDER!
Here are the basic criteria to be eligible for Eric’s Bad Movies:
- The more well-known it is, the better. Movies that played in theaters and were backed by Hollywood studios and had stars in them are ideal. I’ve relaxed the rule against straight-to-video releases, but I still prefer movies that people have heard of.
- Comedies are extremely hard to make fun of because they already don’t take themselves seriously, so I tend to avoid those. Focus on action movies, dramas, and the like. That being said, if the comedy has some kind of “hook” — a supernatural element, an animal co-star, etc. — it’s easier to get a handle on.
- It needs to be something whose badness is generally agreed upon, as opposed to something that YOU happen to hate but that is otherwise fairly well regarded. Remember, I need to think it’s bad, too.
- I’m avoiding movies that I reviewed in the normal movie-critic fashion when they came out in theaters. I’ve been reviewing movies since 1999, so in general, you can skip anything released since then.
After the jump, the list of what I’ve covered so far. Then it’s up to you to post suggestions in the comments. Thanks!
(If you’ve suggested a film in the past and I haven’t used it, you don’t need to suggest it again, I promise. Either I’ve considered it and rejected it, or it’s on my to-do list.)
13th Warrior, The
3 Ninjas
976-EVIL
Above the Law
Adventures of Pluto Nash, The
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
The Allnighter
American Ninja
Anaconda
A*P*E
Apple, The
Arrival, The
At the Earth’s Core
Avengers, The
Baby Geniuses
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
Babylon A.D.
Bangkok Dangerous
Batman & Robin
Bats
Beastmaster, The
Beautician and the Beast
Bio-Dome
Body of Evidence
Body Rock
Bolero
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
Buddy
Bulletproof
Butterfly
Can’t Stop the Music
Care Bears Movie, The
Cobra
Cocktail
Conan the Destroyer
Congo
Cool As Ice
Cool World
Cutthroat Island
Cyborg
D-War: Dragon Wars
Death Wish: The Face of Death
Delta Force, The
DOA Dead or Alive
Double Dragon
Double Impact
Double Team
Dracula 2000
The Dungeonmaster
Empire of the Ants
Ernest Saves Christmas
Exorcist II: The Heretic
Firestorm
Firewalker
Flowers in the Attic
Fluke
Forbidden Dance (is Lambada), The
Fortress
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
Freejack
Frogs
Furry Vengeance
The Gate
Garbage Pail Kids
Glitter
Godzilla (1998)
Gooby
Good Son, The
Grease 2
Gymkata
Happy Birthday to Me
Hard Target
Hawk the Slayer
Heartbeeps
Hercules (1983)
Hercules in New York
High School Musical
Hocus Pocus
House II: The Second Story
Howard the Duck
Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf
Hudson Hawk
Hunk
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Ice Pirates, The
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Inspector Gadget
Invasion USA (1985)
Island of Dr. Moreau, The
It’s Pat
Jack
Jack Frost (family movie)
Jack Frost (killer snowman)
Jaws 3-D
Jaws: The Revenge
Johnny Mnemonic
Judge Dredd
Kazaam
King Kong Lives
Krull
Kull the Conqueror
Leonard Part 6
Leprechaun
Lisa
Lost in Space
Mac and Me
Magic in the Water
Mangler, The
Manitou, The
Masters of the Universe
Meteor
Molly
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Mr. Nanny
The Net
Neverending Story III, The
Next Karate Kid, The
Night of the Lepus
On Deadly Ground
Only the Strong
Orca
Other Sister, The
Over the Top
Pagemaster, The
Patch Adams
Piranha II
Power Rangers: The Movie
Rambo III
Red Sonja
Roller Boogie
Saint, The
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Shanghai Surprise
Showgirls
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Slappy and the Stinkers
Sleepaway Camp
Sleepwalkers
Solarbabies
Solar Crisis
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Spice World
Sssssss
Standing Ovation
Star Trek V
Staying Alive
Steel Dawn
Stone Cold
Street Fighter
Super Mario Bros.
Supergirl
Superman III
Superman IV
Surf Ninjas
Surviving the Game
Tarzan, the Ape Man
Teenage Mutant Ninjas Turtles III
Teen Witch
Teen Wolf Too
Tentacles
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Thrashin’
Timecop
Top Dog
Troll
Two of a Kind
Under Siege 2
Under the Cherry Moon
Virus
Volcano
Waterworld
Wing Commander
Wiz, The
Wizard, The
Wizards of the Demon Sword
Xanadu
Zardoz
March 26th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you haven’t reviewed Santa’s Slay in normal fashion. It’s a direct to video slasher, but it features Bill Goldberg (as killer Santa!), Robert Culp, and Emilie de Ravin. Also appearing: James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, Chris Kattan, and Fran Drescher. Produced by Brett Ranter.
Merry Christmas, Eric’s Bad Movies!
March 26th, 2012 at 3:27 pm
The Room already. The Room!
March 26th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Still not sure why SUPERBABIES isn’t on here.
Movies I’d also like to see you cover…
THE DEATH WISH CLUB
WARRIORS OF VIRTUE
RINGMASTER
WISHMASTER
MISS MARCH
BOAT TRIP
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S GOLDDIGGERS
CAMILLE
March 26th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
I’m sure you have it on your list, but to reiterate, Santa with Muscles (staring Hulk Hogan and a young Mila Kunis!) is breathtakingly bad. My only hope for therapy is that you review the film and I can finally have some catharsis after being forced to watch it (and feign enjoyment) at a gathering of people I’d rather not admit that I know. Pretty please? It’d make a great Christmas in July column. Just sayin’.
March 26th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
The Wriath (1986)
Rawhead Rex (1986)
Tank Girl (1995)
Who’s that girl (1987)
Bright Lights, Big City (1988)
Punchline (1988)
Big Top Pee-wee (1988)
Oscar (1991)
March 26th, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Also 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994). They go to Japan to save grandpa in this one.
March 26th, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Anything in the Twilight Saga based on vampire makeup effects.
March 26th, 2012 at 4:05 pm
C.H.O.M.P.S.
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
Strange Invaders
Ghoulies
Santa Claus: The Movie
SpaceCamp
Rocky V
Medicine Man
Coneheads
Autumn in New York
Silent Running
The Swarm
Moonraker
Condorman
TAG: The Assassination Game
Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
Brenda Starr/The Shadow/The Phantom (was Dick Tracy where this trend started, or am I missing a piece of the puzzle?)
Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze
Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World
Super Fuzz
On the Right Track
Deathrow Gameshow
Terminal Velocity
Bicentennial Man
BMX Bandits
March 26th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Finally, Double Trouble (1992) and Twin Sitters (1994) staring the barbarian brothers.
March 26th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I remember hating a movie when I saw it because it was terrible, and I think this is the one, but I can’t be totally sure since it’s been a while. It could have been another Ted Danson movie around the same time:
Just Between Friends (1986)
March 26th, 2012 at 4:33 pm
+1 for Big Top Pee Wee and Rocky V
Highlander 2, or really anything after the first one (there’s 5 of them, so go nuts!)
No Troll 2? really?!
I love Condorman but recognize it probably isn’t very good, so I’d love an Eric’s Bad Movies review of it too!
March 26th, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Ooh! And how about Wild Wild West? Or plenty of the other Baby Boomer TV shows made into movies in the 90s?
March 26th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
You won’t be disappointed with the “Peanut Butter Solution”
March 26th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
How about “The Beast Must Die,” or “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension”? Or perhaps “Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins”
March 26th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
“The Initiation” (1984)
Horribly acted/shot/directed slasher flick with a ludicrous twist in the end that only makes it worse. It’s got Vera Miles, too!
March 26th, 2012 at 5:43 pm
I second the motion for C.H.O.M.P.S.
I even looked up the Netflix link before noticing that Brandon already suggested it:
http://www.netflix.com/Movie/C.H.O.M.P.S./70023238
March 26th, 2012 at 6:48 pm
The Mod Squad
Hook
Ed (1996 movie about a chimp who plays baseball)
Alien 3
Nothing But Trouble (1991)
Under The Rainbow
18 Again!
Air America
Terminal Velocity
Species
Playing God
Hot to Trot (aka Mr. Ed, the movie)
Highlander II
Urban Legend
Newsies
Swing Kids
A few classics:
1941
Heaven’s Gate
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Plan 9 From Outer Space
March 26th, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Oh, yeah!
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen “Babe 2: Pig in the Big City,” but that definitely qualifies! For a G-rated movie, it contains Michael Vick-sized portions of animal cruelty. The history behind the movie is quite interesting, too. It’s one of the most interesting failures I’ve seen; I remembered thinking about your column upon seeing it, but forgot about suggesting it.
March 26th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
The remake of “House on Haunted Hill.” It was made by Dark Castle Entertainment, who later went on to remake “House of Wax” and “Thirteen Ghosts”, and it’s just as awful as those two movies were. It has a few actual stars in it, including Geoffrey Rush, Jeffrey Combs, and some B and C-listers like Famke Janssen and Chris Kattan.
March 26th, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Escape from L.A.
A Midsummer Night’s Rave
Surf Nazis Must Die
Day of the Dolphin
March 26th, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Ever see the original Horatio Hornblower with Gregory Peck? It’s HORRENDOUS.
March 26th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
“The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension” is kind of bad and awesome at the same time. I’d love to hear your take on it, but it might not be the right kind of bad movie for the column (since it seems to know how preposterous it is, and just owns it).
March 26th, 2012 at 9:51 pm
“The Adventures of Ford Fairlane,” starring Andrew Dice Clay. Possibly the unfunniest “comedy,” and certainly one of the very worst movies, I’ve ever seen.
March 26th, 2012 at 10:39 pm
The 1993 version of The Scarlet Letter. It took the original story, about adultery and hypocrisy, and added Indian fights, soft core porn sex scenes, and most puzzling of all a romance. Starred Gary Oldman and Demi Moore. Read Ebert’s review to get a better idea of how awful this film is: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19951013/REVIEWS/510130302/1023
Highlander II – You know you want to.
Last Rites (1988) – I’m pretty sure the Satan’s Alley parody in Tropic Thunder was making fun of this movie. Tom Berenger stars as a priest who has an affair with a woman who he’s hiding in church.
Cyborg (1989) – It’s a JCVD movie, and he plays a cyborg. The jokes pretty much write themselves from here on.
The Green Berets (1968) – John Wayne made some bad movies, but none approach this turd. It tries to take the cowboy and indians plot, and place it onto the Vietnam War. It is jingoistic and full of misplaced patriotism. It is politically incorrect, and offensive to all the soldiers who fought over there. Oh, and it is bloody awful.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
Troll 2 – This movie is unintentionally hilarious. You should reconsider reviewing it.
Anne B. Real (2006) – From IMDB: “ANNE B. REAL is the coming of age story of a young female rapper, who finds her inspiration by reading the Diary of Anne Frank.”
March 26th, 2012 at 10:41 pm
Caligula – There is the 102 minute R-rated cut that should be pretty easy to find. The rest that was cut was, ahem, more prurient scenes.
March 27th, 2012 at 12:51 am
Oooh, Nothing but Trouble. Good call.
Also:
Frog (1987)
Ladyhawke (1985)
Legend (1986)
March 27th, 2012 at 2:00 am
I am surprised you do not have “Slapsticks of Another Kind”. This was horrible featuring Jerry Lewis and Pat Morita done in 1982. Wow that ages me.
March 27th, 2012 at 4:59 am
“Looking for Lola”. I’m not sure if it was ever in theaters, but it hilariously bad and well worth making fun of!
March 27th, 2012 at 6:05 am
Nothing but Trouble is a heinous travesty of a movie. Nobody should watch it.
Nobody but Eric.
As for a suggestion, how about Stop or My Mom Will Shoot?
March 27th, 2012 at 6:32 am
My Stepmother is an Alien
And I second the Peanut Butter Solution.
Maybe Mystery Mansion too. Those both freaked me out as a kid, but as an adult they are Bad.
You might also want to peruse this site; they have some great ones.
On another note, I’d love to see a “What’s the Big Deal” column on Clue.
March 27th, 2012 at 7:48 am
It’s kind of low-hanging fruit, but…
High School Musical 2. I know you did the first one already, but you are not going to believe how awful the sequel is.
March 27th, 2012 at 8:36 am
Human Error (2005): The best critic quote is “All too accurately lives up to its title”
March 27th, 2012 at 9:26 am
Charro! (1969) Stars Elvis Presley in a western. MST3K came *this* close to being able to mock the movie, but there was an issue with the rights at the last minute.
March 27th, 2012 at 9:38 am
Rocky V
March 27th, 2012 at 9:43 am
Supernova 2000
March 27th, 2012 at 9:47 am
also From Justin To Kelly
March 27th, 2012 at 10:07 am
Dune
My teenaged son brought it home because he was sure he’d love a movie based on a sci-fi classic novel. It made my eyes bleed a
Iittle.
March 27th, 2012 at 10:17 am
I just checked and “Super Fuzz” is now available on Netflix. I second Brandon’s suggestion and say you move this one to the top of your queue today.
March 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am
@ David Manning
Funny you should bring up Babe 2: My kids just got done watching it. I actually think it’s an amazing movie, fake animal cruelty included.
March 27th, 2012 at 11:59 am
The Last Dragon
March 27th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Child’s Play 3
March 27th, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Cabin Boy.
March 27th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
You’ve already done Shanghai Surprise, but in honor of her latest album, I think you should keep going with the MDNA theme and do her three other stinkers–
Desperately Seeking Susan
Who’s That Girl ( I double nominate it)
Bloodhounds of Broadway
March 27th, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I see your The Wraith and raise you a Johnny Dangerously
March 27th, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I knew it! You have seen “The Avengers”. It’s right there in your list!
I remember that Lawnmower Man 2 was pretty bad when I saw it in the theater, but I don’t remember why.
March 27th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Milk Money (1994) starring Ed Harris and Melanie Griffiths. Kids want to hire a stripper, but a “Hooker With A Heart Of Gold” ends up living in his tree house instead. Definitely EBM worthy!
March 27th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Oh, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag!
March 27th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Nthing “Nothing But Trouble.” That movie is horrendous. But strangely engaging.
And I proposed to my wife at “8 Heads in a Duffel Bag” so that one holds a special place in my heart…
March 27th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Thanks for the suggestions so far! Keep ‘em coming!
Some individual comments:
- “Newsies” got mostly negative reviews, but I don’t think it’s a bad movie. It’s earnestly corny and old-fashioned, and it has singing and dancing.
- “Babe: Pig in the City” is a good movie — weird, stylized, fanciful, and strange, but good.
- “Buckaroo Bonzai” is knowingly campy. It’s been a long time since I saw it, but I suspect its “badness” is part of its style. I think “Remo Williams” and “Super Fuzz” may fall under the same category, but I will investigate.
- “Troll 2″ is unintentionally hilarious, I agree. But its hilarity is so self-evident that there’s no point in writing about it. There’s nothing I could say that wouldn’t be obvious to any viewer of the film, and describing it to someone who hasn’t seen it would be fruitless. I pondered this long and hard, and I am certain this is the right decision.
- “Cyborg”: already did it, and JCVD does NOT play a cyborg. That is one of that movie’s many problems.
- “Wild Wild West”: I once tried to do this for EBM and had to quit because it just isn’t bad enough. Dopey, sure, but in a harmless, mildly entertaining sort of way. I think its reputation is much worse than it deserves.
- Hello Brandon and Glen! You are brothers. I knew you in college. Brandon directed this movie. Glen is important because he fueled my interest in MST3K by lending me tapes of it.
- On a related note, I’m not doing anything that MST3K did. The vast majority of those movies are only well-known because MST3K heckled them, so anything I added would seem like I was copying.
- Why do you people want me to keep watching Madonna movies?? What kind of monsters are you???
March 27th, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Dang, my lack of JCVD knowledge is showing. I substitute Bloodsport, or Kickboxer instead.
Here’s another slice of 80′s cheese: Ninja: Silent Assassin. Just watch the first two minutes and sit in awe of the raw acting talent on display.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yd_1HJbMngE#!
March 27th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
My humble suggestions on the worst movies I’ve ever had the misery of trying to sit through:
Death Wish 3
The Island (with Michael Caine)
Master of Disguise (yes, its a comedy, but I had to mention it)
Leviathan
Dick Tracy (another Madonna movie!!)
Highlander II
The Wraith
I agree with your assessment on Buckaroo Bonzai, Babe, and Newsies. Those are all cult films, with loyal followings, and campy on purpose!
March 27th, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Waiting For Forever!!!
It’s awful! I am embarrassed to admit that I watched the entire movie.
March 28th, 2012 at 4:00 am
As stupid as Nothing But Trouble is………..it has it’s moments and is darkly funny at times. Chevy Chase can make bad material funny. I mean, it’s not good but it’s better than pretty much all of the 179 he has done already.
March 28th, 2012 at 8:54 am
Speaking of Chevy Chase; the barely-released Funny Money (2007) is a must for EBM, with career-low performances from Chevy and Penelope Ann Miller, which is saying something.,..
March 28th, 2012 at 9:40 am
Nighthawks: is a 1981 thriller film starring Sylvester Stallone, Billy Dee Williams, Rutger Hauer, Lindsay Wagner, Persis Khambatta, and Nigel Davenport.
March 28th, 2012 at 9:41 am
Flash Gordon
March 28th, 2012 at 10:27 am
The Legend of Billie Jean
The Last Slumber Party
Shocker
Puppet Master
Pumpkinhead II
Poltergeist III
Madman
976-EVIL
March 28th, 2012 at 11:18 am
Tango & Cash
March 28th, 2012 at 11:55 am
Spider Baby. A bit of campiness, but the movie still takes itself seriously.
March 28th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
How about these two: Firefox (with Clint Eastwood) and either Iron Eagle or Iron Eagle II?
March 28th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I just thought of a couple more from those terrible 80s.
Cloak and Dagger (1984)
D.A.R.Y.L. (1985)
March 28th, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I also agree to The Room. It may not be as well known as some of the others but I’ve heard of back alley abortions that occurred on a train that derailed on a solid gold brick that were better.
March 28th, 2012 at 4:22 pm
This will be the oddest correction ever. *Gold turd*
March 29th, 2012 at 9:54 am
Dune
Already been suggested, but it really is awful and hopefully you’ll get more traffic by offending the Dune lovers–it worked for me with Over the Top (and, yes, I’m still sore about that one making the list).
Suburban Commando
Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, Shelley Duvall. I purposefully sat through this shload just so I could enjoy its EBM review someday.
March 29th, 2012 at 10:21 am
I vote for Star Trek: the Motion Picture. It’s got some good things, but it’s also got CPT Kirk looking out a window at the Enterprise fo twenty minutes straight. That’s got to count for something.
March 29th, 2012 at 10:51 am
I once saw a direct to video move called “Delta Force III: The Lost Patrol”
It stars Mike Norris, Chuck Noriss’ son, as a guy who is too tough for delta force.
Also it looks like it was film piggback on to the set of another movie that was being shot using some of the stand-ins and sets for the actual movie by some back-up camera men when they were not working on the feature.
March 29th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I came into this article with a longer list in mind. However, in seeing some of the other suggestions, it occurs to me that I might have no idea what constitutes a “bad” movie. Many titles offered I recall as being very entertaining.
I will offer one I’m pretty sure qualifies though, and it’s a repeat: Master of Disguise. I made it about 30 minutes in while it was on TV, might’ve smiled once, decided I might as well go watch the grass grow instead. Nobody I know has ever liked this movie, even people whose tolerance for idiot comedies is very high.
March 29th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
So many bad movies, so little time:
You could go for a Julia Roberts free-for-all:
Satisfaction – Nope, none at all. My vote for most miss matched main actors ever – Justine Bateman and Liam Neeson
Dying Young – Julia Roberts as a caretaker for a cancer patient
I Love Trouble (Nick Nolte said he sold his soul when he did this film)
Mary Reilly
Also up for nomination:
Meet Joe Black – Brad Pitt is the Grim Reaper
Drop Dead Fred – a 21-year old Phoebe Cates and her imaginary friend.
Feeling Minnesota – Cameron Diaz, Keanu Reeves, Vincent D’Onofrio and Courtney Love. Need I say more.
March 29th, 2012 at 3:47 pm
I reviewed “Master of Disguise” when it was released theatrically in 2002. It is terrible.
March 29th, 2012 at 4:42 pm
I was going to suggest Dungeons & Dragons, but then I saw that it was reviewed already.
So how about “Night of the Comet” from 1984.
March 29th, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Or another canidate is “Sphere” fomr 1998.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:46 am
May I suggest ‘The Shipping News’? If you haven’t seen it, it’s a friggin’ wreck! It’s a WPP Fest (White People Problems) set in a cold, dreary seaside town and everybody’s got a story to tell! And guess what? The movie stops every 15 minutes to let ‘em tell it! And everyone’s Quirky with a capital Q! And they got Spacey, who’s about as good at playing a somewhat retarded man as he’s is at playing Morgan Freeman’s mom to play a somewhat retarded man! Aaaaand it’s based on a friggin’ Pulitzer Prize winning novel!
Oh, and while your at it review ‘Tough Guy’s Don’t Dance’
March 30th, 2012 at 2:11 am
Simon Sez (1999)
This stars Dennis Rodman as an interpol agent with Dane Cook as his sidekick! IMDb says it’s an action comedy, but we all know it will be neither.
3 Ninjas: High noon (1998). Hulk Hogan, Jim Varney and Loni Anderson star in this movie, where ninjas attack an amusement park in order to hold the owners ransom. Hulk Hogan is named Dave Dragon in the film, and teams with the ninja kids to save the day.
March 30th, 2012 at 6:03 am
Rhinestone (1984) stars the weird combination of Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton and has an IMDB rating of 3.2.
On the plot IMDB says- “A country music star must turn an obnoxious New York cabbie into a singer in order to win a bet”.
Stallone co-wrote the screenplay.
March 30th, 2012 at 8:52 am
American Ninja 1-5. The fifth movie has Pat Morita in a supporting role, and the protagonist has a kid following him that he trained in the ways of the ninja. The fifth movie is pg-13, while the first four are rated R, so I am guessing the fifth is the worst.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
She Devil
My Stepmother the Alien
The Conqueror (1956, John Wayne as Genghis Khan)
March 30th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Okay, I just read that Devito and Schwarzenegger are pairing with Eddie Murphy to do a sequel to ‘Twins’, called, of course, ‘Triplets’.
Please review ‘Twins’ so as to let everyone know why this is just so very wrong. Also, as more evidence of why Devito and Schwarzenegger should NEVER do a movie together, I offer Junior for your consideration.
March 30th, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Robocop 3
Warriors of Virtue
March 31st, 2012 at 7:46 am
Bicentennial man
The mummy
March 31st, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Best of the Best I or II
Phantasm II
The Jazz Singer
Color Of Night
The Crow: City of Angels
Child’s Play 3
Shocker
Prince of Darkness
Nowhere to Run
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man
March 31st, 2012 at 7:23 pm
The Way West (1967)
Richard Widmark, Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglass
Got this as the “third movie” in a bargain-pack with two other movies I like but hadn’t seen in a while. Popped it in the DVD player: the first fifteen minutes or so were pretty dreadful, as in, mind-bogglingly stupid…and then everyone in the wagontrain (including a very-young-looking Gidget) starts singing…and I shut it off.
April 1st, 2012 at 7:48 am
I second:
“The Legend of Billy Jean”
IMDb: Pat Benatar states at her concerts before belting into “Invincible” [theme song from "Billy Jean"], “This is from the worst movie ever made.”
“Satisfaction”
IMDb: Liam Neeson has said he took this role just after filming Suspect, where he played a mute derelict, just to be in the sunshine around pretty girls; he admitted he still has not seen the film.
My own suggestions:
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun”
Awful writing, horrible acting, and frightening hair and clothes even by 80s standards. Oh, and Sarah Jessica Parker!
“Hot Rods to Hell”
This is a gem from 1967, originally made for TV but then foisted on theaters. Delightfully, unintentionally bad in innumerable ways.
April 1st, 2012 at 3:57 pm
-”Octopus” (2000), a great contender which you did not review because it ended up going straight-to–video. It was followed by a straight-to-video sequel, “Octopus 2: River of Fear” (2001). I’m aware you’ve already done “Tentacles,” so doing another film called “Octopus” might be overstepping the cephalopodic-set cap.
-You’ve already done “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” (aka “Part 4″), but Part 2 would make another fantastic contribution. It truly is insanely bad, plus it’s got Dennis Hopper going completely batpoop insane.
April 2nd, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Someone suggested Day of the Dolphin, and I just want to say I loved that movie! It’s well-known that I don’t know a good movie from a bad one, sometimes, but I’m pretty sure that one was good. Or my memory is bad.
April 3rd, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I suggest “Birdemic” it’s truly awful. (You can watch this on Netflix instant streaming.)
April 5th, 2012 at 8:42 am
Burt Reynolds should provide a gold mine of opportunities, eg Cop and 1/2: Cannonball Run ; The Smokey and the Bandit cycle; Gator; Hooper; anything else that involves copious gumchewing and wisecracking.
April 6th, 2012 at 12:41 am
Mr. Wrong with Ellen…. so bad….
April 7th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
If you want to loosen the comedy rule a little, I suggest any of the Problem Child or Look Who’s Talking movies. Maybe there’s enough of a hook to make it worth your while?
April 9th, 2012 at 9:32 am
Said it before, and I`ll say it again. Any jingoistic John Wayne movie.
April 11th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
C.H.U.D. and C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud–two for the price of one. Make it so.
April 13th, 2012 at 5:47 pm
The Ballad of Jack and Rose
Son of No One
April 15th, 2012 at 7:58 am
Escape from LA, including a scene where you play basketball for your life. Stars Kurt Russell, on Netflix.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Mission to Mars.
Please. That one needs to be eviscerated.
April 20th, 2012 at 5:45 pm
Small Soldiers! From 1998.
April 24th, 2012 at 11:15 am
Starman (1984). An alien lands on earth and takes the form of Jeff Bridges.
April 29th, 2012 at 4:43 am
Eric, you can’t ignore comedies just because they are hard to make fun of. I believe you owe it to me to at least acknowledge pain and suffering that “Nothing but Trouble” continues to inflict on me.
April 29th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Eric, you can’t ignore comedies just because they are hard to make fun of. I believe you owe it to me to at least acknowledge pain and suffering that “Nothing but Trouble” continues to inflict on me.
OK, fair enough.
“Nothing but Trouble” is terrible! What a bad movie! Ugh!
You’re welcome.
May 15th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
The King & I (1999)
An animated re-telling of a Rodgers and Hemmerstein musical. What next? An animated version of Oklahoma or The Sound Of Music?
June 10th, 2012 at 7:52 pm
“It.” Horrible “horror”
June 27th, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Since I don’t see it here, and you can never have too many superhero movies, I think Catwoman deserves a review.
June 27th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Though I retract that having just seen that they should be from before 1999.