Eric D. Snider

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Various items for your amusement

Monday, April 20th, 2009

Happy April 20 to you! For some of you, 4/20 means celebrating marijuana. For others, it means celebrating Hitler’s birthday. For still others, it means celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Columbine shootings. Whatever your celebration of choice, I hope you are able to spend it with friends and loved ones, stoned.

Speaking of Columbine, one of the movies that got blamed for it was “The Basketball Diaries” — which, coincidentally was released April 21, 1995, and is the subject of this week’s edition of Eric’s Time Capsule at Film.com.

Last week’s Time Capsule was “James and the Giant Peach.” You may recall that this film was blamed when a disturbed youth hijacked a giant peach and rolled over his aunts with it.

Filling in for the ailing Mike Russell, I appeared on KUFO’s Cort & Fatboy program Friday to discuss “State of Play” and “Crank: High Voltage.” You can hear it in the C&F podcast, available here. I show up about two-thirds of the way in. (If you download it, I’m at 38:45.)

My late reviews of “Crank: High Voltage” and “17 Again” are also online, for your approval.

Elsewhere, Eugene Novikov summarizes the weekend box office in the style of H.P. Lovecraft.

Here’s FX’s safe-for-TV edit of Samuel L. Jackson’s famous line from “Snakes on a Plane.”

At Post Modern Barney, there is a list of uncomfortable plot summaries (some of them involving adult language). For example, “The Empire Strikes Back”: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.

Finally, my 2-year-old nephew Logan says: “Wait, what?”

Regarding the publication of ‘Snide Remarks’

Monday, March 9th, 2009

I started writing my weekly column “Snide Remarks” for my college paper way back in 1997, took it with me to the small daily paper I worked for after I graduated, and subsequently made it an online-only feature after that paper fired me. There have been a few gaps and hiatuses here and there, but basically the column has run nearly every week for 11 1/2 years.

In recent months, however, you may have noticed a decline in regularity. New columns have appeared on only 36 of the last 52 Mondays. It’s become like a TV show: a few weeks of new episodes, then a week or two off, then back again for a few weeks, and so forth. The difference is that writing the column was once part of my salary (at the newspapers, and subsequently when we charged a subscription fee to read it here), which meant I was motivated to write it AND had time allotted in which to do so. Now that’s no longer the case, and I have to focus my word-piling energies toward the things that pay the bills. My extravagant lifestyle of Hot Pockets and library books doesn’t come free!

But then I start to feel guilty. I know there are many of you who look forward to reading “Snide Remarks” every Monday, and you have no idea how grateful I am for that. Some of you have been around since the beginning, which is weird, because you’d think you’d have grown out of me by now. And I feel bad having to so frequently say, “Sorry, no column this week.” But I would also feel bad crankin’ out something mediocre just to avoid missing a week.

So we come to this:

As of now, “Snide Remarks” is no longer a weekly column.

It is now a quasi-weekly column. (That’s the best term I can think of. “Occasional” sounds too infrequent.)

When it runs, it will run on Mondays, as usual, and my goal is still to write it every week — the only difference is that you shouldn’t EXPECT it every week.

All that’s required here is an adjustment of perspective. Don’t be disappointed when it doesn’t appear; instead, be delighted when it does.

To be notified when a new “Snide Remarks” is published, you can use the RSS feed or, if you don’t know what “RSS feed” means, you can just get on the e-mailing list. Or you can visit the site every day anyway to read the blog and the movie reviews and stuff.

I appreciate your readership, and I hope you understand my position here. As a special gift to you, here is a picture of me at 17, taken from a video one of my high school classmates posted on Facebook.

Go ruin someone else’s pizza!

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

I snapped a photo of this sign posted on the door at The Huddle, a sports bar near my apartment:

Sorry, 1980s Domino’s Pizza advertising mascot! You’ll have to drink and watch football somewhere else!

The conversation that must have led to this picture

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

[Photo taken this afternoon in a Portland grocery store parking lot.]

“All right, ladies, let’s go to the grocery store!”

“OK! Let me just put on my too-tight low-rise jeans that leave the back side of my muffin top exposed!”

“And should I change out of my pajamas?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m wearing the pants that only come up to the bottom of my butt.”

“What if we get to the store and discover we’re out of wiper fluid?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring this jug of moonshine just in case.”

“OK, we’re ready!”

“Let’s go!”

“Don’t forget to lock the double-wide!”

Why Comic-Con is a threat to society: a pictorial

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

This is only the top half of the picture. The rest of it — which you may regret seeing — is after the jump.

Continue reading…

A gallery of photo bombs

Monday, July 7th, 2008

You know how sometimes it’s funny to insert yourself into the background of someone’s photograph and ruin it? And by “sometimes” I mean “always”? I guess someone decided that practice is called “photo bombing,” and they’ve compiled a collection of such pictures here. (Warning: Mooning and other mildly indecent acts are sometimes part of the photo bombing experience. The pics are rated PG.)

The philosophy of ‘Toy Story’

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Here is a conversation I had with my 3-year-old niece Lindsay last week:

HER: Do you like Buzz Lightyear?
ME: Yes.
HER: Do you like Woody?
ME: Yes.
HER: Does Woody like you?
ME: Uh, yes, I think so.
HER: Does he make you funny?

I think she meant “Does he make you laugh?” I kind of like her version, though. Am I funny? And if I am, did Woody make me that way? These are deep questions.

(That’s Lindsay on the right. On the left is Emily, my 8-year-old niece, who is also adorable. That’s me in the middle, also adorable, but in a different way.)

The freaky life of a celebrity

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Here is a picture of Jake Gyllenhaal and his girlfriend, Reese Witherspoon. Note that just above Reese’s head is a magazine with her ex-husband, Ryan Phillippe, on the cover.

Discussion question: What if you were out shopping with your new boyfriend and you saw a magazine cover with your ex-husband’s face plastered all over it, staring out at you? How freaky would that be?

Two important SXSW photos

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Will Goss posted these photos on Facebook, and I have stolen them to show to you. They are from my last day at SXSW, the one where we got stuck a few miles from downtown and had to wait for a bus and I sat in a shopping cart.

Here’s one with Eugene and Weinberg. Why Eugene is pushing the cart, I don’t know. I don’t remember this part specifically. I must have been very engaged in my reading.

‘There Will Be Blood’ reference makes Eric laugh

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Saw this online. Don’t know who did it. Made me laugh.

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