Katz goes on three dates with best-selling author and gastrointerologist Alice Webber, and -- surprise -- Ben over-reacts, fearing his dad will get married again ("I don't mention her name in the house," he says cattily). Katz tells Laura he and Alice have a lot in common, but there's no chemistry between them. Alice is lacking something: "A chin. I've looked everywhere." Ben talks to Laura about the old-fashioned way of doing things, when men went to work while women stayed home, watched the kids, milked cows, and "made dairy products." He rents two copies of "Kramer vs. Kramer" and talks to Todd. ("Don't you want him to be happy?" Todd asks. "I like him the way he is," Ben answers.) He also sneezes some peanuts on Todd. While making out the wedding list, Ben asks Laura if she'll ever get married. "Maybe, if the right guy comes along," she says. Ben: "Laura, you've gotta get out of this dream world." Katz tells Stan and Julie about how the relationship just isn't working out. She sends him a copy of her new book ("A Bathroom Reader"), and Katz has Laura call her and break up with her for him. Later, Ben and Katz realize that their relationship is pretty much like a marriage anyway, and that in fact, it could use some counseling.

• Kevin Meaney: Mom doesn't like his stand-up material, especially the part about Larry Hagman and the liver ("I Dream of Liver"); Aunt Rose likes him, though; parents used to have guests over and warn the kids about them ("Mr. Richter has had a sex change"; "Mrs. Peterkin has the thyroid, so don't be mentioning the g.d. thyroid!"); tells Laura he's back "for a check-up," and that he'll pace and stand until Katz calls him in; wife, Mary Ann is probably pregnant ("she eats everything in the house"), but he hasn't asked her directly; he has a lot of anxiety and lets it out in Katz's office by sobbing.
• Carol Leifer: "Anne Frank got out more than I do," she says; instead of saying sweet nothings, she usually winds up saying things like "What are you picking?" to her boyfriends; likes weak and chatty guys, not strong and silent; things getting an annullment is a serious case of denial, pretending the marriage never even happened ("What about the wedding albums? 'Oh, that's just a play I was in'"); movies are too scary; took an 8-year-old to see "Godzilla" and he kept crying -- "Of course, that might be because he didn't know who I was"); women who have had children won't explain what the pain is like.

Review:

Pretty standard episode, albeit a very funny one. Katz is doing something, Ben over-reacts (Ben is often best when he's NOT the protagonist, but just an observer), both ask Laura's opinion, Stan and Julie are consulted, and everything turns out normal in the end. Ben's rambling about the white knight on the white horse with the white glove taking Laura off to Whiteland is a bit of inspired improvisation, and we're always suckers for Katz's shtick in the bar ("She said, 'I want you.' I said, 'Finish your thought.'") Kevin Meaney and Carol Leifer are both very, very funny comics -- yet both waste some time in this episode saying practically nothing. It's a shame to see Kevin, for example, go on about his anxiety and wanting to let it all out when he could be making fun of his parents instead.GRADE: B+

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