Katz brings up the job issue with Ben, and a series of metaphors ensues. Ben says he's "an empty vessel"; Katz says Ben is a slug, and, like a slug, "needs a good swift kick in the ass." They both get wired on coffee, annoying Laura (especially Ben, who tells her, "You're just a big ol' ball of b****"). Ben buys coffee beans and grinds them while he's still dressed only in his underwear. Ben ultimately gets intestinal ulcers from all the coffee. NOTE: One of only a few episodes without appearances from Stan and Julie.

• Brian Regan: Fourth of eight kids; had to wear nametags at Thanksgiving; sometimes you change what you're saying in mid-sentence and say things like "Take luck!"; sometimes you say "You too!" to people it doesn't apply to; college roommate called pizza a "pie"; Brian thought, "What are you, Little Jack Horner?"; International House of Pancakes: "Who designed the roof? It's like a cathedral"; you're never in a position of power when you call for a tow truck; ants always rebuild immediately when you destroy their home; he wants to keep talking, even after the music, and over the credits.
• David Duchovny: As usual with the big celebrity guests, he doesn't do much that's funny. He wants to wait in the broom closet, where he puts on Katz's jacket and helps himself to some gum; Ben frightens him by banging on the closet door; David went to a female therapist who took his side on everything; thinks dreams are the reality and being awake is the "simulacrum."