"Dr. Katz" Subject Index
Remember a funny bit, but can't remember which episode it's in? Find it here!
Subjects referred to anywhere in the show -- by patients, or by Katz, Ben, Todd, Stan or Julie -- are listed here.
|
A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z |
Click a letter to expand/compress its contents.
- A
- Abs, Jesus had great - 601
- Academic house arrest, Todd Barry was on - 210
- Accent, Australian - 311
- Accent, British - 310
- Accordion, Judy Tenuta plays - 207
- Actor, Dom Irrera wants to be - 410
- Addresses, Ben needs 10 for his chain letter - 506
- Administrative Assistant, Laura's new title - 204
- Adopt, James Leemer pressured his girlfriend to - 501
- Adult diapers, Dom Irrera wears - 410
- Air conditioner, makes noise, Ben tries to fix - 307
- Airplanes, Dom Irrera can't sleep on because no one will cuddle - 203
- Airplanes, just flying in one is miraculous - 401
- Air quotes, Ben uses 'em when he tells Laura about his dad's "campaign" - 511
- Alderman, Ben wants Katz to run for - 511
- Alien walk, Winona Ryder would do to keep aliens away - 301
- All-you-can-eat buffets - 212
- Alma mater, keeps bugging Todd Barry - 406
- Anchormen, shouldn't be celebrities - 209
- Anesthesia, Joan Rivers sometimes foregoes when having plastic surgery - 309
- Animal rights, Katz used to work in - 602
- Animals, exotic, what babies are like to single men - 208
- Animals, won't betray you - 208
- Anniversary, Katz's - 515
- Answering machine, Jeffrey Ross' grandpa's - 302
- Anti-Semitic, network censors want Hitler not to be - 508
- Anyway, bad when a woman says that on the phone - 212
- Apartment, Ben wants to get his own - 202
- Apartment, Bonnie McFarlane's is a wreck - 515
- Apples, and oranges, comparing - 501
- Aquaman, no one would want to be - 402
- Arcade, where Ben spent the campaign money - 511
- Archenemy, Patton Oswalt wants Katz to be his - 502
- Art teachers, are like homeless people - 601
- Asian, Kevin Kataoka is the only one wherever he goes - 509
- Aunt Estelle, death of - 308
- Aunts, try to kiss Emo Phillips - 203
- Australian, accents make everthing sound positive - 311
- B
- Baby carriage, is too expensive - 211
- Babysitting, Ben tries - 507
- Back, Katz injures - 310
- Baked potato, Ben puts in Katz's fanny pack - 501
- Bakery, distracts Ben from spying on Laura - 413
- Balding, Mike Rowe is - 408
- Ballet, Katz and Stanley refuse to go to - 502
- Balloons, Kevin Nealon smuggles cats in - 304
- Bank robbery, how Ritch Shydner treats shopping with his wife - 306
- Barbecue, Kevin Meaney's dad used too much lighter fluid on - 201
- Bartender, Janeane Garofalo acts like one after sex - 206
- Basketball, women can be aggressive while playing - 512
- Bastard, Ben fears he might be one - 515
- Bathroom, Ben wants to use at the video store - 601
- Bathroom, Julia Louis-Dreyfus keeps going to - 405
- Bathroom, just one for five kids - 201
- Bathtub, Ben is in - 313
- Batman, wouldn't go to housing project - 402
- Beatles, came to Gilbert Gottfried for help with a name - 506
- Beatles, Tom Kenney thought were rip-off of the Monkees - 516
- Bed, which side to sleep on - 103
- "Been", Ben and Conan O'Brien argue over pronunciation of - 410
- Bees, Katz is afraid of them - 205
- Beth, Julie's friend - 302
- Bible - 102
- Bicycle, Katz buys an electric one - 402
- Bicycles, cops on - 601
- Big-boned, not a good excuse for being fat - 203
- "Big ol' ball of b****", Ben calls Laura - 505
- Bingo - 102
- Bird, Laura rescues - 412
- Birdseye, Clarence, musical based on - 310
- Birth certificate, Ben looks for - 305
- Birthday, Ben's - 412
- Blind date, Jeffrey Ross went on one where she had a talking mole - 302
- Blind date, Katz gets set up on one - 302
- Bloody Ears, the place where Ben almost gets his ear pierced - 304
- Boat, Ben and Katz consider buying one - 503
- Booger, Stan's - 508
- Boot camp, Katz tells Ben it's not like summer camp - 601
- Bosco, the name of all of Judy Tenuta's brothers - 207
- "Boyfriends", how Jeff Garlin's grandma introduces his friends - 411
- Boyfriend, Mitch Fatel wants to be Laura's - 504
- Boyfriends, have to run errands for their women - 504
- Boy Scout, Steven Wright was one when he dated a 30-year-old - 407
- Brain, might be most fascinating part of the body - 203
- "Braveheart" - 304
- Bras, women threw at Elvis - 516
- Bridal registry, is creepy - 510
- Bridge, mom obsessed with playing - 311
- "Bridges of Madison County", Mark Pitta cried during - 413
- Broadcasting school, Ben auditions for - 403
- Bronx, Susie Essman had boyfriend from - 514
- Broomstick, Ben was told to speak into at broadcasting audition - 403
- Buddha, not in good shape - 601
- Bug Killer - 402
- Bullfighting, involves no bravery - 412
- "Bully" - Ben's stuffed animal -103
- Bully, at school was passively agressive - 509
- Burger King, in Montreal employees are bilingual - 102
- Burglar, almost gets Katz and Ben's house - 513
- Burp, Margaret Smith's uncle did all the time - 308
- Bus driver, Fred Stoller talked to - 309
- C
- C-Section, Jack Gallagher's wife had to have - 304
- Cake decorating, Ben tries - 303
- Calling in sick, sound like golf announcers - 408
- Camcorder, Ben borrows Laura's - 409
- Campaign, word around which Ben uses air quotes when speaking to Laura - 511
- Canada, Americans don't think about - 306
- Canada, Bonnie McFarlane is from - 515
- Candlelight dinners - 406
- Candy, 3-year-olds can daydream about - 102
- Capes, Tom Kenney likes wearing - 510
- Car, Ben borrows for the day - 106
- Car, Bill Braudis' has been broken into 10 times - 403
- Catholic school, don't call nuns "My man" - 101
- Catholic school, Judy Tenuta got in trouble for giving nun shaving mug for Father's Day - 207
- Cat, Dom Irrera punched his - 313
- Cat, Jake Johannsen would eat his - 307
- Cat, Tom Kenney's wife is worried about it killing the baby - 510
- Cats, Kevin Nealon smuggles - 304
- Century, Tom Kenney doesn't belong in this one - 510
- Chain letter, Ben gets one - 506
- Chair, Katz brings one home from the trash - 404
- Chair, Katz's, Don Gavin wants to sit in - 409
- Chauffeur, Ben wants to be one - 301
- Check, Ron Lynch's bounced - 514
- Chicken, Tommy Smothers' boyhood pet - 412
- Child pornographer, Todd Barry told his alma mater he was - 406
- Chinese food, always comes really fast - 404
- Chinese generals, have food named after them - 404
- Chips Ahoy, flavor of ice cream with which Louis C.K. is unfamiliar - 511
- Cholesterol, Katz is concerned about - 104
- "Chopsticks", Ben Stiller had to play on the violin - 512
- Christmas caroling - 205
- Christmas party - 204
- Cleaning service, "Finders Keepers" - 207
- Closet space, Katz wants more - 408
- "Clown" - Katz's mom's inexpensive treat - 102
- Cocaine, "energy crystals" sound like - 517
- Coffee, Ben asks Laura if she wants some - 101
- Coffee, Ben gets intestinal ulcers from drinking - 505
- Coffee, everyone drank at Ed Crasnick's house when someone died - 602
- College, keeps bugging Todd Barry - 406
- College graduate, Fred Stoller's mom wants him to be one - 212
- College student, what babies are like - 211
- Cologne, Katz wears it after having sex - 208
- Colon exam, should be done professionally - 207
- Colonial food - 501
- Commune, Katz lived on one - 209
- Commune, Winona Ryder lived on one - 301
- Communist Party, Katz was a member; didn't seem like a party at the time - 511
- Community theater, Katz auditions for - 516
- Computer, Elayne Boosler can't get it to print envelopes - 408
- Constipated, Dr. Harvey Greenberg mentions he is - 306
- Contact lenses, Bill Braudis put in backward - 208
- Cooking, Bill Braudis likes it - 403
- Costello, Elvis, David Juskow wants him in his musical - 310
- Costner, Kevin, David Feldman's wife's ideal person to sleep with - 305
- "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", Ben Stiller hung around the set of as a child - 512
- Cranberry Scare, in the '50s - 518
- Crawford, Cindy, David Feldman's ideal person to sleep with - 305
- Crazy people, fun to watch - 104
- Crazy people, might be talking to God, not themselves - 209
- Crazy place, the only play you could be going "at this time of night" - 202
- Cremated, Ken Rogerson wants to be - 310
- Cremated, Joan Rivers had her mother-in-law - 309
- Crisis, three dilemmas equal one - 404
- Cross-country skiing - 304
- D
- Damages something of his father's, Ben does - The car: 106; a nailgun: 209; the car (again): 301; the electric bike: 402
- Dancer, Dom Irrera wants to be - 410
- Darth Vader, toy that wouldn't stop making noise - 501
- Date, Ben goes on one - 105
- Date, Katz goes on one - 105; 208; 406
- Date, Laura goes on one - 502
- Day off, Laura takes one - 204; 413
- Day planner, Katz forgets - 307
- Death, Katz and Ben discuss Katz's eventual - 503
- Death, there was plenty at Ed Crasnick's house - 602
- Death threat, Katz receives - 507
- Deep, Sarah Silverman's sister is - 511
- Denny's, getting fired from - 504
- Dental records, to identify dead people - 409
- Dentist, Laura sees (and dates) - 512
- Dentists, trade in alarming people - 603
- Denver, John, called Smokey Robinson greatest living American poet - 309
- Deodorant, Katz has never worn any - 503
- "Der Schneidermaus", the opera about Lew Schneider - 404
- Dieting, Kevin Meaney always is - 212
- Dilemmas, three equal a crisis - 404
- Dip, Ben tries, and drops Katz - 514
- Discovery Channel, prevents meeting women - 404
- Divorce, Ben is still bitter about his parents' - 302; 401; 515
- Doctor, Brian Kiley played as a kid - 211
- Doctor Cash, Garry Shandling says that's what Dr. Katz's name should be - 207
- Doctor Cats, what the sign says at Katz's speaking engagement - 211
- Doctor Festerpus, the guy who works at Bloody Ears - 304
- Doctors, shouldn't smoke pot - 311
- Dog, Elayne Boosler had hers put to sleep - 408
- Dogs, topic of Marc Maron's first online chat - 209
- Do Not Disturb, people ignore it at hotels - 212
- Draft dodgers - 305
- Dream, gay, Louis C.K. had one - 511
- Dreams, Ben's and Katz's are about killing each other - 407
- Dreams, Conan O'Brien's are where his family and various dictators are mocking his show - 410
- Dreams, Dave Attell wants his interpreted - 404
- Dreams, Gilbert Gottfried wants more symoblism in his - 503
- Drinkholder, Michael, inventor of the drinkholder - 502
- Drinking, Ben thinks Katz is too much - 206
- Drinking, Dave Attell does to stop voices in head - 404
- Drivers, slow - 413
- Driver's license, with good photo, mugger took from Janeane Garofalo - 206
- Drummers, shouldn't have gongs - 210
- Drunk, in all wedding photos - 105
- Dry cleaners, lost maternity pants - 405
- Dump, no longer open to public - 404
- Dumpster, Ben spends half-hour in Laura's - 413
- Dyslexics, Dave Attell has no sympathy for - 404
- E
- Earring, Ben considers getting - 304
- Earring, clip-on - 101
- Earthquakes, in L.A. - 516
- Easter eggs - 508
- Eating disorder, women always being accused of having - 515
- Elevator, Ben annoys Laura in - 102
- Elvis, Tom Kenney grew up on the fat one - 516
- Elvis impersonator, Mike Rowe wants to be - 408
- Emergency brake - 106
- Engagement ring, woman should give back after the wedding - 208
- English woman, Ken Rogerson was married to - 310
- Envelopes, Elayne Boosler can't get her computer to print - 408
- Erection, 2-year-old gets one in the bathtub - 204
- ESP, Ben thinks he has - 213
- Euology, Kats gives - 308
- "Everybody's Got a Tushy", the book by Nelson Mandela - 105
- Extras, in the movie of your life - 205
- Ex-wife, Katz's abandoned Ben - 313
- Ex-wife, Katz's is coming through town - 202
- Eyeglasses, Katz gets them - 203
- Eyewitness, Ben supposedly is to a crime - 201
- F
- Family, is ugly - 106
- Famous, Mitch Fatel wants to be so he can be in an orgy - 508
- Fanny pack, Katz gets one - 501
- Fantasies, males can't control them - 102
- Farty McCrablice, Louis C.K.'s new name - 401
- Father, used too much lighter fluid -
- Father, was a handyman - 408
- Father, would pick up other people's trash - 201
- Feet, not finished growing - 101
- Feng shui, Ben takes up - 510
- Fever, Dom Irrera fears he has one - 515
- Financial advice from Stanley - 101
- Finders Keepers, the name of Katz's cleaning service - 207
- The Finger, giving it to kids - 401
- Fixin's, everybody's favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner - 518
- Flashbacks, that's all Kevin Kataoka's family dinners are - 509
- Flyers, not allowed in Todd's video store window - 602
- Flying, Ben has a fear of - 508
- Folk singer, Katz was - 305; 510
- Folk songs - 103; 305
- Football, can't watch with sound off - 102
- 4-H Club, is like the Mafia - 405
- "Free Willy" - 504
- French, Katz and Stan speak at the bar - 503
- French, Ben and Todd speak at the video store - 602
- Fructose, Katz and Stan disagree on pronunciation of - 303
- Fruit, Katz brings to the office - 303
- Fruit, Katz uses to explain his Theory of Intelligence - 211
- "Fruit of my loins", Katz and Ben discuss meaning of - 518
- Fungus, what they grew on Katz's commune - 209
- Furniture, Ben rearranges because of Feng Shui - 510
- Furniture, Ben rearranges to confuse bespectacled dad - 203
- Futons - 406
- G
- Gambler, Ken Rogerson's a bad one - 310
- Game show, Bobcat Goldthwait was on one - 309
- Game show, hosts never ask follow-up questions of contestants - 507
- Gandhi, Gilbert Gottfried knew - 506
- Gangs, Bob Odenkirk can't get any to let him join - 303
- Gay dream, Louis C.K. had one - 511
- "Gay issue", Mitch Fatel doesn't know where he stands on it - 508
- Geography, just like history but without people or dates - 207
- Germ-phobia, Wendy Liebman got it from her mom - 102
- Gingko biloba, not helping Jann Karam - 512
- Girlfriend, Dave Attell pretends he has - 404
- Girl Scout cookies - 504
- Girth, UPS wants to know - 507
- Glass, Ben offers to put in Katz's Ping-Pong rival's food - 517
- Glasses, Ben hides Katz's - 509
- Glasses, Katz has to get - 203
- Glasses, people always want to try on other people's - 503
- God, people believe in "just in case" - 209
- Golf announcers - 408
- Gongs, drummers shouldn't have them - 210
- Grace the cleaning lady - 103; 105
- Grandma, heckles Jeff Garlin at his shows - 411
- Grandma, huge underwear - 407
- Grandma, knitted suicide note - 413
- Grandma, must be treated like a rhino - 513
- "Grandma's fat", all Sarah Silverman could think of to say to her deep sister - 511
- Grandpa, Ben must drive to urologist - 102
- Grandpa, calls everything by different names - 302
- Grandpa, not as cute when he does crazy stuff as the 4-year-old is - 204
- Grandpa, talked about the "old country" - 407
- Gravy, Jim Gaffigan saw a guy drinking - 503
- Greeting cards, David Mamet used to write - 312
- Greeting cards, Ray Romano won't buy unless it's something he couldn't say himself - 206
- Guess Who - 306
- Guitar, Katz plays - 103; 104; 204; 304; 309; 412; 518
- Guitar, Katz teaches Julie - 104
- Gum, Andy Kindler would put sugar on - 312
- Gym, guy screams like Charlton Heston - 509
- Gym, Katz doesn't want to shower at - 104
- Gym, Marc Maron joined one - 303
- Gym, naked guys at - 301
- Gym bag, Dom Irrera's cat peed in - 313
- H
- Hair, Katz and Stan find in the peanuts - 411
- Hair, Ray Romano can't remember if he's washed or not - 102
- Hair, Friar Tuck-style - 101
- Hair, on Ben's legs but not on his chest - 201
- Hair, red - 205
- Hair, transplants - 306
- Hair, turns orange on Katz and Ben - 212
- Hairy guys, Margaret Smith doesn't like - 308
- Halloween costume, strange to see another kid wearing the same one as you - 509
- Handicapped people, shouldn't park in regular spots - 207
- Handyman, Mike Rowe's father was - 408
- Harmonica, Robert Klein plays - 503
- Hawaii, misconceptions about - 101
- Head, Tony V's is huge - 411
- Heaven, is like high school - 602
- Heaviness, Rodney Dangerfield wakes up with it on him - 307
- Heels, Dom Irrera is wearing - 403
- Heinous, the name of Jeffrey Ross' blind date - 302
- Helicopter, Ben might get to ride in - 410
- Helping professions, Ben wants to be in - 310
- Henna, hair dye used by Katz and Ben - 212
- Heston, Charlton, guy at gym screams like - 509
- High five, Don Gavin's family expressed affection through - 409
- High school, is like heaven - 602
- High-school reunion, Ben's - 313
- High-school sweethearts, shouldn't marry - 206
- Hitler, could have been popular on TV in the '40s - 308
- Hitler, networks want him not quite so anti-Semitic - 508
- Hitler, stole "take over the world" bit from Napoleon - 503
- Hitler, was ticklish - 404
- HMOs - 208
- "Hogan's Heroes", how did it ever make it on the air? - 503
- Holocaust, Cathy Ladman's boyfriend says never happened - 302
- Homeless people, art teachers are like - 601
- Homeless person, holding jumper cables makes you feel like one - 509
- Honking, accidentally - 401
- Horse races - 412
- Hostages, are never black - 402
- Hotel, Ben and Katz stay in one as punishment for cheating in game - 306
- Hotels - 212
- Hourglass figure, Wendy Liebman wants - 506
- House Un-American Activities Committee, Katz testified before - 518
- Humpback, not more highly evolved for having a hump - 603
- Hydroponic farming - 105
- Hypnosis, Katz tries on David Mamet - 312
- Hypochondriac, Ben is one - 205
- I
- Ice cube, stuck in throat - 208
- Image, Ben wants to change - 304
- Impotence, Smothers Bros. may have to discuss - 412
- Indiana, Jim Gaffigan grew up in - 503
- Intelligence, Katz's theory on - 211
- Internet, Marc Maron's friend convinced him to get on - 209
- Interrogation, that's what "therapy" would normally be called - 501
- Intervention, Ben tries one on his "alcoholic" dad - 206
- Intra-office primal screaming - 204
- Intrusive thoughts - 201
- Irish people, and their ways of dealing with stress - 501
- Irish people, are scary with their red noses and faces - 504
- Irish pubs - 504
- Italian, John Pinette spoke at an Italian restaurant - 504
- Italian boys on bicycles, main characters in Louis C.K.'s gay dream - 511
- J
- Jack, in playing cards - 209
- Jail, parenting is like being in - 404
- "Jaws", which Katz misreads as "Jews" - 203
- Jerusalem - 306
- Jesus, always being compared to his Father - 503
- Jesus, asked to perform useless miracles - 311
- Jesus, guy says he is; he's at least John the Baptist - 312
- Jesus, had great abs - 601
- Jesus, might have sounded like an effeminate Southern man - 311
- Jesus, what if he had your car keys when he ascended? - 513
- Jesus, what if you grabbed onto his leg when he ascended? - 513
- Jewish, the Beatles weren't - 506
- Jewish, Cathy Ladman is, but boyfriend isn't - 302
- Jewish, Gilbert Gottfried's parents are, despite his looking Norwegian - 506
- Jewish holidays - 306
- "Jews", Katz mis-reads "Jaws" as - 203
- "Jews", Sarah Silverman's shorthand for her sister's Silverman-Abramowitz last name - 511
- Jews, bury their dead right away - 503
- Jews, never bank robbers or cowboys - 407
- "Jimmy Crack Corn" - 103
- Job, Ben discusses, or makes efforts toward getting one - 101; 303; 403
- John the Baptist, some guy is at least him, if not Jesus Christ - 312
- "Joy Luck Club", Kevin Kataoka compares his family to - 509
- Jumper cables, just hold them to feel like a homeless person - 509
- K
- L
- Labels, Ben puts one on all his possessions - 103
- Labels, Laura puts one on everything in the office - 402
- Labor, Jack Gallagher's wife was in for 30 hours - 304
- Landmines, Laura encourages Ben to take on as a cause - 602
- Large-mouth cans, benefit only giants - 311
- Las Vegas, "Mom & Pop" casino in - 204
- Lawyer, no legal expert - 308
- "Learning to Tie Your Inner Shoe", book written by Katz - 510
- Left turns, Fred Stoller hates making - 401
- Letterman, Mitch Fatel was on - 504
- Life cereal, presumptuously named - 509
- Lighter fluid, Kevin Meany's father used too much - 201
- Limousine, Ben wants to drive - 301
- Limousine, David Cross wants to deliver pizza in - 513
- Lincoln's death, Gilbert Gottfried felt guilty for - 506
- Lint, getting it off the screen in one piece - 302
- Little League, Bill Braudis played in college - 208
- Location, Location, Location - 202
- Loft, Todd Barry's friend put his bed on - 406
- London broil, Ben plays Treasure Hunt with - 509
- Loose heart, Dom Irrera fears he has - 515
- Los Angeles, can be crippled by two drops of rain - 516
- Lottery, Ben wins - 405
- "Love's Retreat", the play Katz auditions for - 516
- Low-fat, but lower than what? - 202
- Lunch, Steven Wright would eat at midnight - 201
- M
- M&Ms, Katz puts in Laura's Walkman - 509
- Mafia, in Illinois is 4-H Club - 405
- Magic trick, there's a painting of in the airport - 513
- Magic tricks, Mother Teresa did for miracles - 503
- Mailbox, struck by someone matching Katz's description - 411
- Manatee, on the "Ricki Lake Show" - 405
- Mandela, Nelson, author of "Everybody's Got a Tushy" - 105
- Marijuana, should be legalized - 311
- Marriage, for two straight guys - 403
- Masks, Katz learns to make - 407
- Massage, Ben reads up on - 310
- Massage, Wendy Liebman got one - 506
- Maternity pants, dry cleaners lost - 405
- McCartney, Paul, begged Gilbert Gottfried for some meat - 506
- McCartney, Paul, said Brian Wilson was a musical genius - 309
- Medication, Katz takes for his back - 310
- "The Me No One Knows", book written by Katz - 510
- Memoirs, Ben writes - 401
- Men, can't hold the door open for each other - 206
- Men, don't tell each other they're good-looking - 203
- Men, hairy - 308
- Men, have no organizations to help them combat the women - 307
- Men, hug each other but only while hitting each other, too - 404
- Men, will get naked if you ask them to - 204
- Menendez, Lyle, Kathy Griffin likes - 305
- Metallica concert, Dave Attell's family is like - 404
- Metaphors, Katz and Ben use a lot of - 505
- Meyers, Sharon, Katz's former patient/girlfriend - 406
- Midget, Dom Irrera has one who cooks - 515
- Midgets, evil, Katz sees them in every horror movie - 513
- Midget village, Patton Oswalt wants to get drunk and attack - 508
- Midnight, Steven Wright would eat lunch at - 201
- Midwest, where people wave to you - 503
- Mike Douglas Show, Ben Stiller had to play the violin on - 512
- Military, Ben threatens to join - 601
- Milk, expired, Fred Stoller drank - 212
- Minivan, gets you kicked out of Coolville - 306
- Mirrors, Richard Jeni avoids them when he's naked - 301
- Monkees, Tom Kenney thought the Beatles ripped 'em off - 516
- Mormon, Teri Garr was almost like in high school - 602
- Mother, afraid 3-D books are bad for eyes - 106
- Mother, Ben's is coming for a visit - 202; 518
- Mother, is germ-phobic - 102
- Mother, is nosy - 203
- Mother, marks one of the twins to tell them apart - 206
- Mother, obsessed with playing bridge - 311
- Mother, pointed out weird-looking people while on vacations - 201
- Mother, put microwave in the bathroom - 106
- Mother, saves everything from Thanksgiving - 302
- Mother, sharing hotel room with - 517
- Mother, won't stop feeding you - 105
- Mother-in-law, Joan Rivers cremated - 309
- Mother Teresa, did magic tricks for miracles - 503
- Mount Rushmore, done on spec - 312
- Movies, Katz and Ben go to a lot of - 502
- Mugger, took Janeane Garofalo's driver's license with the good photo - 206
- Mule, Stanley suggets Katz gets one instead of a fanny pack - 501
- Multiple personality disorder, Bonnie McFarlane would like to have - 515
- Musical, based on Clarence Birdseye - 310
- N
- Nail file, Ben asks Katz to kill him with - 603
- Nailgun, Ben misuses - 209
- Naptime, Brian Kiley slept naked during - 509
- Nazis, funny on "Hogan's Heroes" - 503
- Neigh, when a horse says it, she means it - 602
- Neuroanatomist, profession of Katz's one-night stand - 208
- News, on TV, guesses about what would have happened if earthquake was bigger - 516
- New York City, gets less attractive as you get older - 602
- NINE-1-1, Stan suggests Katz call instead of 9-1-1 - 513
- Noise-Checker - 103
- Norwegian, Gilbert Gottfried looks like a barrel-chested one - 506
- Nova Scotia, Ben wants to take a weekend trip to - 409
- O
- Office supplies, Laura is suspected of stealing - 207
- The Old Country, Marc Schiff's grandpa talked about - 407
- Old man, Katz thinks about becoming one - 503
- Old people, Ben thinks they're funny - 203
- Olivier, Laurence, Jeff Goldblum dreams of meeting - 601
- Opera, Ben tries to impress Laura with knowledge of - 517
- Opera, is boring - 104
- Opera, Lew Schneider would go only if it were about him - 404
- Optometrists, bad to have sex with - 204
- Orange juice, tiny servings of - 402
- Orgy, Mitch Fatel wants to participate in - 508
- Ovarian cyst, Ben once thought he had - 205
- P
- Paas Easter Eggs - 508
- Pants, don't make you look fat - 406
- "Pants altered", the line in "Love's Retreat" that keeps making Katz laugh - 516
- Pantyhose - 103
- Paranoid, Dom Irrera is - 403
- Paranoid, Emo Phillips heard a guy call him that by tapping it out in Morse Code - 203
- Paranoid, Marc Maron admits to being - 209
- Paris, where Ben and Laura broke up, according to his memoirs - 401
- Parking cars - 312
- Party, where the invitation says "9 - ??" - 210
- Peanuts, Katz and Stan find black hair in - 411
- "Peanuts" special, that's what "the music" means to Emo Phillips - 203
- Penny, Steven Wright throws one at Ben - 201
- Perky people, Lizz Winstead can't work with - 310
- Per se, Dom Irrera mocks Katz's use of the Latin phrase - 515
- Petition, Ben starts one to save Pullman Square - 602
- Pets, Ben would always let die - 507
- Phone book, everything's labeled wrong - 209
- Phone company, makes everything a nightmare - 507
- Phone system, new one at the office - 312
- Pillow, chocolates left on - 212
- Pimp, Katz once worked as one - 101
- Pinkeye, Ben got at camp - 601
- Ping-Pong, Katz's old rival shows up, wants re-match - 517
- Pita bread, makes anything healthy - 405
- Pitt, Brad, David Feldman's wife's ideal person to sleep with - 305
- Planet of the Fat Aunts - 105
- Plastic surgery - 309
- Playgirl, how do they stay in business? - 204
- Pledge of Allegiance, kids mangle - 601
- Pogo sticks, cops on - 601
- Portly, Katz is told that he is - 308
- Postcards, people are morons when they write - 405
- Post Office, advertises stamps on TV - 209
- Post-It Notes, on guys' foreheads - 104
- Pot, Tom Anga's dad didn't smoke it, so they couldn't relate - 213
- Pot-bellied pigs - 101
- Prague, Laura calls - 312
- Pregnancy, Caroline Rhea discusses her friend's - 311
- Pregnancy, Joan Rivers discusses hers - 309
- Pregnant, boyfriend told Carol Leifer she was so she'd marry him - 204
- Pregnant, Brian Kiley tried to get his wife - 211
- Pregnant, James Leemer got his girlfriend - 501
- Pregnant, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is - 405
- Pressure points, masseuse wants to know - 506
- Priest, Jim Gaffigan's dad wanted to be - 503
- Prison, sex in - 504
- Profit-sharing plan, Katz devises - 506
- Prophets, what some crazy people might actually be - 209
- Prostitute, Ben is approached by one - 210
- Prostitution, hidden charges in - 406
- Public speaking - 211; 308
- Pullman Square, Ben's old hangout - 602
- Puppet, Ron Lynch hopes to "open up" through - 514
- Puppies, Katz and Ben look at in pet store - 208
- Puppy, instead of a child - 202
- Q
- R
- Racism - 402
- Racoon costume, Emo Phillips made for the guy going through his trash - 303
- Rain, L.A. can be crippled by small amounts of - 516
- Rather, Dan, whom Dom Irrera was watching while playing with himself - 515
- Recycling, Katz doesn't do it - 201
- Radio Shack, wants your phone number - 209
- Record player needle - 302
- Reference point, Mike Rowe is because he's balding - 408
- Refrigerator, looking for things in - 202
- Refrigerator, salesmen of - 507
- Retarded, someone asks Mitch Fatel if he is - 504
- Retirement, Katz discusses his eventual with Ben - 503
- Reunion, high school - 313
- Reverse transference, not the same as "I'm rubber, you're glue" - 510
- "Ricki Lake Show", manatee on - 405
- Robinson, Smokey, called greatest living American poet by John Denver - 309
- Rock bands, who say "We wanna rock!" - 308
- Rockette, former profession of Sharon Meyers - 406
- Roller skating, Ben tries - 303
- Rotary phones - 312
- Roz, Katz's ex-wife's name - 313
- "Rub Yerself", Ben's massage book - 310
- S
- Sailor suit, clerk asked Jeffrey Ross if it was a gift - 302
- Sarah, cousin, Ben goes to visit - 508
- Sarah, Ritch Shydner accidentally called his wife - 306
- Sarcasm, what was it like the first time someone used it? - 208
- Saxophone, Louis C.K. doesn't play - 401
- Scam, wisdom teeth are, Todd says - 603
- Schedules, Katz and Al Franken try to get theirs to line up - 406
- "Schindler's List", not very funny - 311
- Scootch, Katz's nickname, according to Stan - 302
- Scrotum, twisted by Dom Irrera - 515
- See-through, Cathy Ladman's boyfriend's kids are - 302
- Self-defense class, Paul Kozlowski took a worthless one - 507
- Self-help book, Katz is working on - 307
- Sense of rhythm, mugger stole - 206
- Sex, in prison - 504
- Sex, men think about constantly - 508
- Sex, neighbor always talks about - 211
- Sex education - 305; 310
- Sex scenes, in movies - 210
- Sexual harassment, among animals - 602
- Sharks, "bothering" you - 409
- Shaving body hair - 105
- Shaving mug, inappropriate gift for a nun on Father's Day - 207
- Shelves, Katz and Ben build some - 209
- Shoes, Dom Irrera forgets his - 313
- Shorts, men shouldn't wear - 501
- Shower, never right temperature - 402
- Shower, Ray Romano forgets if he's washed his hair or not - 102
- Shower, Katz doesn't want to with other guys at the gym - 104
- Shtick, don't do it - 106
- SIDS, Ben's pretty sure he has it - 205
- Simon, Neil, Barry Sobel's life is like a play by - 202
- Sings, Katz does - 103; 104; 204; 305; 309; 412
- Sissy, Ben is called - 601
- Smoking, Todd Barry hates it, but will let women do it in his house - 210
- Soccer announcer, Ben really wants to be - 403
- Soda machine, rejects dollars - 105
- Sorvino, Mira, speaks 11 languages - 515
- Spanish, Katz and Stan speak it - 104
- Spider, Ray Romano finds one in his car - 213
- Spoon, Kathy Griffin wants to - 305
- Squatters, what Ben says his parents were when they first got married - 404
- Stairmaster, Marc Maron is afraid of at the gym - 303
- Stalking, Ben does to the new woman in the building - 207
- Stamps, Post Office advertises - 209
- Stand-up comedy, lets you be in whatever mood you want - 508
- Stanislavsky, Ben gets a book on his acting theory - 516
- Stapler, Katz's, Laura gives to Ben for his birthday - 412
- Stewardess, woke Anthony Clark up because of turbulence - 106
- Stoller, Fred, shows up late for an appointment, or without an appointment at all - 307; 309; 401; 404
- Stomach, growls and sends messages - 602
- Strip-search, Louis C.K. had one - 401
- Stroke, Tom Agna faked one to get out of a bad dinner - 213
- Stuntman, Ben Stiller's girlfriend left him for one - 512
- Stutter, Dave Attell's voices in his head have one - 404
- Subpoena, Ben thought his chain letter was one - 506
- Substitute teacher, Todd Barry was one - 406
- Substitute teachers, mangling names of - 601
- Suicide note, Richard Lewis' grandma knitted - 413
- Suit, Katz buys one - 308
- Superhero, Ted Alexandro might be one - 601
- Superheroes, Dave Chappelle discusses several - 402
- Superman, Dave Attell thought his dad was - 104
- Supermarket doors, won't open for ultra-thin women - 204
- Supermodels, there's no need to interview - 503
- Sutherland, Keifer, Fred Stoller wants to be aloof like - 212
- Swimmer's body, Ben asks Laura if he has one - 201
- Synonyms, women don't have them - 305
- T
- Tag, Dom Irrera plays with Katz - 403
- Tail-gaters - 310
- "Taming of the Shrew", Joy Behar got a part in - 211
- Tampon commercials - 409
- Tantric sex, Stan discusses - 510
- Tapioca pudding, an item in Katz's care package for the ailing Ben - 603
- Tattoos, people who get them were committed to something - 307
- Teacher, sixth-grader had sex with - 513
- Telemarketer, Ben falls in love with one - 504
- Telephone game, Katz discusses with Julie and Stan - 509
- TelePrompTers, women should have on foreheads - 305
- Television, Ben watches too much - 311
- Temp, Kathy Griffin worked as one - 517
- Ten-speed bike, Mitch Fatel compares women to - 508
- Testicles, Louis C.K. asked to lift during strip-search - 401
- Thanksgiving, Cathy Ladman's mom saves everything from - 302
- Thanksgiving, Roz Katz shows up for - 518
- Thanksgiving, wearing nametags at - 505
- Thanksgiving turkey, Ken Rogerson shot his - 310
- Therapist, Dom Irrera's last one hit him - 205
- Therapist, Lisa Kudrow lied to her last one - 313
- Therapists, Julia Louis-Dreyfus left her last two because they fell asleep - 405
- Therapy, would normally be called "interrogation" - 501
- Three, minimum number for parents to count to - 213
- 3-D books, bad for your eyes - 106
- Three Stooges, not funny - 106
- Thrift stores, don't work in small towns - 515
- Ticket, Katz gets one - 512
- Time change, Steven Wright's grandparents never adjusted to - 201
- Tipping Dr. Katz, Andy Kindler asks if he should - 106
- Toast, Ben and Katz toast numerous things - 302
- Toes, Ray Romano's daughter names hers - 204
- Toilet, flushing dirty socks down - 201
- Towels, hotels try to give Kevin Meaney too many - 212
- Tow truck driver, Laura persuades not to tow Katz's car - 106
- Toys, that make noise - 501
- Traffic jams, no visible cause for - 411
- Traffic school, Laura goes to - 413
- Treasure Hunt, Katz and Ben play - 509
- Trouble, name of Kathy Griffin's biker boyfriend - 305
- Truck driving, Ben considers as career option - 303
- Turbulence, stewardess woke Anthony Clark up during - 106
- Turkey, Thanksgiving, Ken Rogerson shot his - 310
- Turtle, Katz was one in Joy Behar's dream - 211
- Twins, identical, saves money on photos - 206
- Twins, named Gregory and Shmegory - 213
- U
- V
- Vegetarian, Jake Johannsen's girlfriend wishes he was - 307
- Venice, people probably lose their sunglasses in canals there - 517
- Ventriloquism, Paul Kozlowski is working on - 507
- Ventriloquist, Wendy Liebman's mother was - 506
- Vic's Video Palace, frequented by Ben - 514; 517; 518
- Vietnam veterans - 305
- Village People, being a roadie for - 202
- Vomit, old lady did when Kathy Griffin was a waitress - 517
- Voices in head, Dave Attell drinks to stop them - 404
- W
- Walkman, Katz ruins Laura's - 509
- Waltz, Katz must learn for niece's wedding - 514
- Washington, birthday celebrated with used-car sales - 503
- Water-skiing - 202
- Wave, people in the Midwest do to strangers - 503
- Weathermen - 209
- Wedding photos, Larry Miller's drunk in all of them - 105
- Weight lifting, Don Gavin tried - 409
- "We're number one!", always some guy saying at sporting events - 304
- "Where's Waldo?", book on tape - 303
- Wildebeest, is edible - 311
- Wilson, Brian, called a musical genius by Paul McCartney - 309
- Wind chimes, Ben buys then is driven insane by - 510
- Winos, Emo Phillips rips nose hairs out of - 303
- Wisdom teeth, Ben has his out - 603
- Wisdom teeth, Bill Braudis had his out - 403
- Wok, Todd Barry got one - 210
- Women, can be aggressive while playing basketball - 512
- Women, can smoke in Todd Barry's apartment - 210
- Women, don't have synonyms - 305
- Women, don't like Three Stooges because they're not funny - 106
- Women, have organizations to govern the men - 307
- Women, if they knew what men were thinking about them - 105
- Women, who are thin and want to get thinner - 204
- Women, shmimen, Fred Stoller got in trouble for saying in front of a woman - 212
- Wonder Woman - 402
- World Series, Ed Crasnick is mad that Red Sox haven't won - 602
- www.thankful.com, where Todd Barry plans to spend Thanksgiving - 518
- Y
- Yard sales, Ken Rogerson's wife would buy things at because they were $1 - 310
- Yard sales, Ritch Shydner's wife can spot a mile away - 306
- Yawn, made Lew Schneider have to pretend he just talks that way - 513
- Yawn, Mark Pitta does with his mouth closed sometimes - 413
- Yoga, Wendy Liebman tried - 506
- Yom Kippur, wipes out all your sins - 306
- "You too", saying it to people in inappropriate situations - 505
- Z
- Zionist, Susie Essman's cousin is one - 514
