Lyrics and Comedy Sketches
College fun-time gone horribly, horribly wrong
The Garrens Comedy Troupe is a sketch-and-improv group that I started when I was a freshman at BYU. The entire history of the group is told here; I'll provide just a basic outline for this introduction. The Garrens are a bunch of crazy people who do shows every Friday on BYU campus in which they do funny, crazy things that make people laugh and go crazy. During the three years I was with them, before kicking myself out in September 1997, I wrote a good many of the sketches and songs the group used. I usually helped perform them, too, though I was often more of a hindrance than a help in that area. (I came back to the group in 1999 and remained with it until its demise in 2001.) Below is a sampling of the stuff I wrote for the Garrens. There is much more to come -- there are around 60 items, total, that you'd be interested in -- but this is a good smattering to start with. Note that since the Garrens generally perform at BYU, there is often a bit of BYU- or Mormon-related humor involved. If a particular sketch or song would not make sense to a non-Mormon, it has been noted. Feel free to read it anyway, but don't expect me to explain EVERY SINGLE joke to you. I don't have that kind of time, man.
- Dinner at Denny's
- Don't Know Why Available on CD!
- The General Authorities Song (2nd version) (Contains all LDS material)
- The General Authorities Song (3rd version) (Contains all LDS material)
- The General Authorities Song (4th version) (Contains all LDS material)
- The General Authorities Song (5th version) (Contains all LDS material) Available on CD!
- The General Authorities Song (6th version) (Contains all LDS material)
- The General Authorities Song (Original Version) (Contains all LDS material)
- Hold on, the Light Will Change Available on CD!
- I am so Handsome Available on CD!
- It Had to be U
- Livin' la Vida Utah Available on CD!
- My Siamese Twin Fiancee Available on CD!
- Official Garrens History (as written by Eric D. Snider)
- Piano Man Available on CD!
- The Pioneer Song Available on CD!
- The Scully Song Available on CD!
- The Seventh Sense
- Sharing Our Journals (Contains mild LDS humor, but you'll get the joke anyway)
- Since My Best Friend Got Engaged Available on CD!
- Some Friend You Are
- Terrycloth 2000 Personal Weight Training System
- The Titanic Song Available on CD!
- Your Thong