Jennifer's Body
Movie Review
Jennifer's Body
by Eric D. Snider
Grade: C+
Released: September 18, 2009
Directed by:
Cast:
Good news, zeitgeist watchers! Diablo Cody has descended from the mountaintop to bestow new slang upon us! Henceforth, "jealous" shall be rendered "Jell-O," as in, "You're so Jell-O of me!" AND THUS IT IS.
The "Juno" scribe's sophomore effort, the bloody horror comedy "Jennifer's Body," doesn't have much to offer beyond quirky dialogue, though -- and even that feels strained, as if Cody is trying too hard to copy herself. For every line clever enough to inspire a chuckle there are two more that make me think, "Really, Diablo? Ugh."
The title character, portrayed with campy conviction by "Transformers" hottie Megan Fox -- this may well be the part she was born to play -- is a high school vixen whose feminine wiles and sexual prowess have made her the object of every boy's lust and every girl's awe. Jennifer's best friend since childhood is a wallflower named Needy Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried), who has a nice-enough boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons), and lives vicariously through Jennifer's escapades.
They all live in a small, nondescript town that's rocked by a tragedy one night, and while Jennifer wasn't injured in the accident, she starts behaving differently afterward. To be specific, she shows signs of being both evil and, um, carnivorous. Needy is chagrined by this. Some other people are harmed in far worse ways by it.
(Tangent: "Needy" is presumably a nickname, but still: "Needy Lesnicky" doesn't sound like a person; it sounds like an insult. "You're such a Needy Lesnicky!" I can hear someone like Jennifer saying exasperatedly. And is your writing so weak that you have to actually NAME your protagonist "Needy" in order to get the point across?)
I believe the intent is that Jennifer's literal evilness will serve as a metaphor for adolescent angst; the film's first words are Needy telling us that "hell is a teenage girl." We get the idea, but the metaphor falls flat. I kept thinking of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (created by another self-conscious quirkmeister, Joss Whedon), which did the high-school-demon thing a lot better, with more insight, humor, and humanity. "Jennifer's Body" is cluttered and unfocused, occasionally funny, somewhat interesting, never scary. What's the purpose of the mysterious waterfall to nowhere? Why is J.K. Simmons doing a goofy "Fargo" accent as the school's lone administrator, and why does he have a hook for a hand? How does the origin of Jennifer's evilness fit in with the teen-angst metaphor? What is this all supposed to add up to?
This is the third girl-power movie for director Karyn Kusama, following "Girlfight" and "Aeon Flux," but her influence is barely felt. It's really Diablo Cody's movie, and it's her quirks and obsessions on display, for better or worse. What felt fresh and original two years ago, in "Juno," has lost its luster now; despite being entirely unrelated except for having the same screenwriter, "Jennifer's Body" feels like a retread. I'm afraid this is one more doodle that can't be undid, home skillet.
Grade: C+
Rated R, moderate harsh profanity, a lot of blood and gore, some rather strong sexuality
1 hr., 42 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
This item has 10 comments
September 18, 2009 at 7:22 am
Wow, Eric, you've been reviewing prolifically all of a sudden. Glad to see you're back in the swing of things!
September 18, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Megan Fox playing a nubile hottie who everyone lusts after? Now I've seen everything!
September 18, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Judging by the previews, Megan Fox is playing EXACTLY who I imagine her being in everyday life.
September 19, 2009 at 6:30 am
You think that she's an undead, cannibalistic high school student?
September 19, 2009 at 7:55 am
A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to read the screenplay, and at the time my thought was "Diablo Cody is becoming the Dan Brown of the screenwriting world." I loved Juno. I thought Jennifer's Body sounded like Juno, only with less pregnancy and more cannibalism.
Whichever Dan Brown novel you read first blows you away. Any subsequent novels are retreads of the first. And therefore kinda suck.
If Diablo wants to have any hope of being more than a flash in the pan, she had best learn herself a new trick. I'll probably still watch this movie, but only because I think Amanda Seyfried is kinda cute, in a funny looking sort of way.
September 20, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I never thought Dan Brown was that great. Then again, I saw the movie first, and when I read the book it felt like a screenplay in prose form.
September 22, 2009 at 4:33 am
This was a movie I was looking forward to but Eric is right. It's not so much the dialogue that was terrible (it wasn't good and not even close to Juno's dialogue). I mean, I was enjoying it before Megan Fox went all possessed and "vampire like" on us. Then it all went downhill fast. Why couldn't it be a dark comedy without the horror and unrealistic demon stuff. I mean......Megan Fox could have just used her hotness to kill guys in the woods for just being jerks in general. I'm talking about her using weapons and stuff.....not some unrealistic horror garbage (like Eric said, it wasn't even scary). It could have been even more of a copycat of Heathers (great movie) and focused on the school and how they would react to more realistic murders. This was a frustrating choice by Diablo Cody to go the horror route.
September 24, 2009 at 2:25 am
Oh no, Drake Pope, I don't think that at all. I only imagine it.
September 29, 2009 at 9:00 am
I figured since this is a quasi-horror movie this is a good place to ask ..... Have any of you seen Paranormal Activity ? Plan on reviewing it Eric? I haven't been this freaked out by a movie since my parents mistakenly let me watch Poltergeist when I was 10 years old and I couldn't use my closet for the next three yeas or tolerate clowns of any kind . This movie was scarier.
January 2, 2010 at 5:36 am
Here's the link to Eric's review of "Paranormal Activity": http://www.ericdsnider.com/movies/paranormal-activity
I haven't seen it, though.