Eric D. Snider
The Last Legion
Movie Review
"The Last Legion"
Review by Eric D. Snider
Grade: C
Rating: PG-13
Released: Friday, August 17, 2007
Directed by:
Cast:
There are two kinds of people who might love "The Last Legion": People who know nothing about ancient history, and people who know nothing about filmmaking. I assume the movie's director and writers fall under both categories.
Set in A.D. 460, just as Rome is falling, "The Last Legion" feels like one of those straight-to-DVD movies made to capitalize on a current popular trend. While it doesn't resemble any specific movie in particular, it certainly feels ripped off from "Lord of the Rings" and any number of sword-and-sandal epics. Its earnest cheesiness destines it for Saturday afternoon showings on your local CW-affiliated TV station.
It stars Colin Firth, of course, because who else would you cast as your swashbuckling Roman action hero but Mr. Darcy? Firth plays Aurelius, a military commander who is led to understand that a young boy named Romulus (Thomas Sangster) is a blood descendant of Caesar and thus rightful ruler of the Empire. The evil Goth invader Odoacer (Peter Mullan), having forcefully taken command of Rome, would just as soon kill anyone claiming to be Caesar's heir, so Aurelius and his loyal men rescue the lad and whisk him out of the country.
That's not all they take, though. Along for the ride is Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley), the elderly, magic-practicing caretaker of young Romulus, as well as a sword that he helped Romulus find. This sword was supposedly made for the Caesars, and it has a prophecy on it, and only the rightful heir can wield it, and yada yada. You know the drill.
The plan is to head up to Britannia, where Rome's Ninth Legion has been stationed for some time, and get support for going back and reclaiming Rome. Unfortunately, they get there to find that the legion was decimated by the barbaric ruler Vortgyn, and that the few survivors now live as simple farmers. Vortgyn, who wears a hilarious Mardi Gras-style mask all the time, learns of the boy and the sword and the prophecy, and that means I smell a battle on the horizon!
This is the theatrical feature debut of director Doug Lefler, whose TV credits include episodes of "Hercules" and "Xena: Warrior Princess." He did a direct-to-video "Dragonheart" sequel, too. "The Last Legion" fits in that loincloth-and-archery mindset; what's surprising is that, despite all the prior experience, Lefler is so inept at directing fight scenes. The ones here are badly staged and amateurishly shot and edited, with decidedly non-thrilling feats of bravery enacted by unenthusiastic stuntmen.
Oh, and for some reason, there is a girl: Mira (Aishwarya Rai), a Turkish soldier committed to helping Aurelius. She is a formidable warrior herself and soon convinces everyone of her might. But really, all she wants is for Aurelius to like her, 'cause he's so cute and stuff. Aurelius remains somewhat aloof, however, as he is played by Colin Firth, and "somewhat aloof" is what Colin Firth does best.
And yet, just as with "Skinwalkers" last week, there is no reason to hate "The Last Legion." It's dumb, it's cheap, the CGI is laughable, the dialogue is wooden, and the story -- with its eventual ties to the King Arthur legend -- is ludicrous. But as long as it's not aggressively, in-your-face bad or actively annoying, I can tolerate a movie like this. Five years from now, when I see it playing on a Saturday afternoon on my local CW-affilate TV station ... well, I probably still won't watch it. But I will at least smile as I recall its harmless idiocy, in much the same way that one smiles at retarded people one passes on the street.
Grade: C
Rated PG-13, a lot of sword-to-sword combat, though there is curiously little blood shown
1 hr., 42 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
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This item has 10 comments
August 19, 2007 at 8:35 am
Yawn, another "re-imagining" of the Arthurian legend, complete with incredibly hot fighter-chick (who in this case is apparently a huge star in Bollywood, and deserves better). I'd actually be somewhat interested in seeing this if it was just a regular ol' made-up fantasy tale, but name-dropping Excalibur into it turned me right off. Heck, the sword's name is supposed to be a big surprise, yet it's in the trailer!
It should be mentioned that this is all based on a book by Valerio Manfredi (also one of the screenwriters). It should also be noted that Eric's done it again with another awesome quote, the last line in the review (and used at rottentomatoes.com).
August 19, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Actually, it seems as if this movie was trying to play off of 300 instead of the older sword-and-sandal movies. It even has the whole 'preview full of huge men shouting dramatic things' ("WHAT HAPPENS TODAY WILL ECHO THROUGHOUT HISTORY!!!!" vs. "THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE!!!")
August 19, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Brad, all the actors deserve better, not just Aishwarya Rai. Colin Firth has long been a favourite of mine, and Ben Kingsley is amazing. It sounds like they got shortchanged in this one.
August 20, 2007 at 11:45 am
You forgot the other group of people who will want to see this film -- ardent Pride and Prejudice fans who want to see the mix from the BBC version (Colin Firth) and the Bollywood version (Aishwarya Rai) together. And those who have Classical Studies background that enjoy laughing at stupid films set in classical times would be another group.
I'll probably be watching it tomorrow. Pray for me.
August 20, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Didn't this movie come out a couple years ago and bomb then, too?
August 20, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Well...I respect all of the previous comments, but The Last Legion, being a fantasy is not a historic drama and was not meant to be. It does accomplish what it's set out to do...ENTERTAIN. The look of the film is not "cheap". I enjoyed the film. Also, I stayed to read the end-credits. The sound track is good... so is the acting. Some of the things that happen in the film are a bit predictable, as are most of the story lines of films of the last 30 years. "There is no new thing under the sun". I am a fan of Aishwarya since we Americans were introduced to her in Bride and Prejudice. In recent months I have seen her in Dhoom 2, The Mistress of Spices, Guru, and Provoked. She is a talented, versatile, actress.
August 21, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Remember the thing about studio shills posting on reviewer websites?
The post above is exactly the sort that they do. Make excuses for the weaknesses of the film, point out how entertaining it is, then talk up one of the actors. Listing the filmography is also a telling feature. "If you liked any of these other films with this actress, you should go see this one too."
Has 'Edna' ever posted anything else here?
August 23, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Slash -- that's not necessarily true. I mean, it's quite possible that Edna liked the movie and was either a regular reader of EricDSnider.com or some kind of review-hunting pervert. Studio shills do exist, but that doesn't mean that every dissenting view must be a studio shill. Although I wonder how someone can read Eric's review and insist that the movie did what it set out to do.
August 24, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I don't know... I mean, who stays to read the end credits, even if you liked a movie? It seems very fishy to me.... (and this is meant mostly as a joke, so please do not feel it necessary to point out how you stay the read the credits for every movie you watch)
October 10, 2007 at 12:47 pm
It is rumored in India that Aishwarya Rai benefits from many studio shills. I disagree with the comment that Ms. Rai somehow deserves better. Based on what we have seen so far of her acting talents, she is more than lucky that she got this offer, when better actors from India receive less. Looks (and plastic surgery) can definitely take you far!