The Wicker Man
Movie Review
"The Wicker Man"
Review by Eric D. Snider
Grade: D+
Rating: PG-13
Released: Friday, September 1, 2006
Directed by:
Cast:
Not having seen the 1973 British cult classic "The Wicker Man," I cannot say whether the 2006 remake is faithful. Did the original include a scene in which the leading man puts on a bear costume in an effort to infiltrate cultists? Did that leading man also yell, "Killing me won't bring back your G--d--- honey!"?
I suspect not. I suspect it takes a Nicolas Cage (or a Charlton Heston or a William Shatner) to holler that kind of nonsense without a trace of self-consciousness. You need a ham of the highest order to make this malarkey funny, which is what "The Wicker Man" remake ultimately is.
Adapted and directed by once-beloved indie misanthrope Neil LaBute, our story is about Edward Malus (Cage), a California cop who's on leave after witnessing a horrific traffic accident that turns out to have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. While recovering, he gets a letter from his ex-fiancee, Willow (Kate Beahan), pleading for his help in finding her missing daughter.
Willow and the girl, Rowan, live on a privately owned island off the coast of Washington called Summersisle, so Edward hops a plane and a ferry and another plane and shows up to investigate. The island's inhabitants are unwelcoming of strangers, nearly Amish in their lifestyle, and almost exclusively female. The few men visible to the naked eye remain silent and perform menial tasks. Edward is puzzled by what he sees and frustrated by the community's lack of regard for his status as a law-enforcement officer. Also, the Summersisle residents claim, at various times, that Rowan never existed and that she existed but died.
Willow herself is oddly uncooperative for someone who wants her daughter back, but Edward can chalk that up to the island's general policy of vague answers and obfuscation of evidence. The group is governed by Sister Summersisle (Ellen Burstyn), a queen-like figure in flowing robes and benevolent smiles who tells Edward of the island's two major festivals: one for the harvest and one for fertility. The harvest pertains to the island's numerous beehives (honey is the community's chief export), and the fertility is evident in the many pregnant women one sees wandering around.
So OK, we've got some kind of peaceful cult going on here, but what about the missing girl? Edward finds few answers. It doesn't help that he spends many of his spare hours having hallucinations, nor that he is -- wait for it -- wait for it -- allergic to bees.
It is possible to make genuinely creepy movies about strange pagan societies, but "The Wicker Man" is not one. The climactic sequence involving the group's annual "celebration of death and rebirth," in which all the island's residents put on animal masks and/or costumes, is silly, not eerie, Cage's appearance in a bear outfit certainly does not help matters.
The one excellent performance is by Ellen Burstyn, still radiant at 73 and skillful enough as an actress to recite her cheesy, wannabe-spooky dialogue in a way that sounds natural. Her every word sparkles, even when her face is painted like Braveheart. (Why is her face painted like Braveheart?!)
Since the movie itself is a laughable wreck (albeit a well-photographed one), I'm curious to examine what the symbolism is all about. LaBute was a Mormon until a few years ago, when he renounced his membership before the church could renounce it for him. LaBute's remake of the "The Wicker Man" -- but not the original -- centers around bees, both literally and (in the island's societal structure) figuratively, and the beehive has long been a part of Utah's and Mormonism's symbology. Consider also the film's secretive and strict religious society, which could easily be seen as representing LaBute's view of his former church. LaBute's films have always addressed his issues with women. Is he going to start working out his issues with Mormonism, too?
Grade: D+
Rated PG-13, scattered profanity including one F-word, some moderate violence
1 hr., 42 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
This item has 10 comments
January 4, 2007 at 9:07 am
I couldn't agree more with how awful this movie is. Upon its conclusion, we questioned as to why the movie even needed to take place, ie why didnt they just skip to the climax as soon as he got to the island! There was no reason for them to put him through that whole misguided adventure except to possibly waste time until the "holiday" arrived.
One of my favorite scenes in this movie is where Cage is riding along and stops to help a guy load some logs on a cart. He helps with one log, which then causes the majority of the loaded ones to fall off. He saves the guy from the falling logs and then rides away! So NOW the guy has no help still and has even more work to do!
February 11, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I agree this movie was at best strange!!!!! He tires real hard to come off as a hard cop but in truth he just a really bad actor in this one. I'm a real Nicolas Cage fan but I'm starting to wonder now????
March 19, 2007 at 5:09 am
Oh man the best bit is when Cage threatens a woman with a gun to "step away from the bike".
Oh and the whole "Owwww Gawwwd my leeeeegssssss", and Bear Suit scene were priceless. Oh and the 'she cultists' dancing in he fields aswell!
July 15, 2007 at 4:34 am
Actually you are wrong about both your comparisons to the original. The lead in the original does indeed dress up in a costume like Cage does and he screams "killing me won't bring your crops back!" at the end as well.
I like both versions of this movie but i think a lot of people criticizing this one never seen the original. That was actually almost the same movie except it had musical numbers sung by the Pagans in certain scenes. As ridiculous as that sounds, it actually fit into the movie however.
August 31, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Sorry, but have to pick up Bill who states the original was"....actually almost the same movie except it had musical numbers....", what?! These are two completely different movies!, one a complex tale of repression, sexuality, faith, sacrifice and trust, the other a brain-dead cash-in for the teenage horror market. As for the comment about the inclusion of song throughout the original as being 'ridiculous sounding', the old religions of Western Europe, paid much attention to the role of music and dance for purpose of praise, worship and spiritual growth, therefore it is one of the integral elements of the entire film (and perhaps the most inspired, as it is beautifully scored), for it is here where Sergeant Howie's Christian repression is most starkly observed. Secondly, the costumes worn for the parade in the original, can still be seen today. Many Towns and villages throughout Britain still commemorate many of the festivals of the old religions. This perhaps most famously occurs on May Day in Padstow, Cornwall. (Think there’s a clip of the 2003 May Day on the directors cut edition DVD) Of course these processions no longer culminate in sacrifice, yet the traditions of our (British) old religions still exist in some part. Perhaps it is this root in actual events and history which gives the original its depth and why a quickly written half-baked idea about an evil all female cult was so laughable.
The remake is a movie made by someone for whom the original went far above their head, no doubt made purely to trade off the good name of the original, this is as bad a case of celluloid sacrilege as you can get. I shall for this moment overlook the misogynistic overtones of the revised plot (and I use the term 'plot' lightly) and instead ponder LaButes claim that this version should not be compared to the original. Perhaps it would have been better NOT to give it the same title then?! This is a typical case of someone who has not understood the complexities of the original but seen the iconic ending and image of the wicker man and thought to themselves " Man that giant wooden man looks cool, I gotta get myself one of those for my next movie, it'll look amazing on the posters!". The entire point of the story has been lost by LaBute, for the true horror that is at the root of the original lies in the fact the islanders are likable and happy yet at the same time capable of a cold, heinous act without any show of remorse. The audience is always aware Sergeant Howie is being mocked and toyed with, yet it appears more mischievous than sinister, which is why the ending is quite so shocking. The remake loses this complexity by turning the inhabitants into an 'evil cult', resulting in a formulaic and simplistic narrative.
I could go on and on about quite how bad this film is, however I must stress the remake does have one redeeming feature, it is hilarious, though of course unintentially. Nicholas Cage gives a great comic performance, although I suspect that was not his intention, turning the repressed, socially inhibited Sergeant Howie into a wise-cracking, sarcastic Hollywood action hero, Cage gives a master class in s**t acting, and his delivery of lines?....., Ok, so the script is terrible, but Cage only makes it more cringe-worthy. However, although Initially, the first 45min of the film was actually making me angry, but that feeling soon gave way to a kinda perverse enjoyment as the film grew in its ridiculousness. By the end I was half expecting the wicker man to come alive and Cage to blow it up with a rocket launcher made of bark, ahhhhhhhh if only!!.................
October 27, 2007 at 11:43 am
Bestass Movie i ever Seen!!!!
December 15, 2007 at 12:56 am
i love this novie
November 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm
What a thoroughly stupid movie. Sure, it has its moments of unintentional comedy, but you can't help be struck with the question while watching it: Why would anybody bother filming this nonsense?
January 20, 2009 at 10:16 am
The more I think about this, the more I realize that this movie needed to end the same way as Hot Fuzz, with a bunch of climactic gun battles and over-the-top violence against those crazy RS ladies.
The movie could culminate with Sister Summersisle in a large mechanical suit and Braveheart makeup:
Summersisle: "Killing me won't give you back your daughter!"
Nick Cage (Spits out toothpick and cocks shotgun): "Well, that's a damned shame, isn't it?"
July 13, 2009 at 7:52 am
Three words.
"Not the bees"