Hot Library Action
Snide Remarks #519
"Hot Library Action"
by Eric D. Snider
Published on October 30, 2006
Election Day is still a week away, yet I have already voted. HOW IS IT DONE????? you ask, though why you speak in all-caps and use five question marks, I do not know. Am I a time-traveler? Have I committed a grievous act of voter fraud? Both are plausible and consistent with my character, but neither is correct. I have already voted because I live in Oregon, and Oregon allows people to vote by mail.
Oregonians are blasé about it now, but as a newcomer to the Beaver State (motto: "Please Don't Call Us 'the Beaver State'"), I am delighted by this wonderful idea. You see, voting is usually a chore. That's why no one does it. You have to find out where you're supposed to go, then you have to GO there, then you have to actually CHOOSE somebody in like 50 categories, all the while hoping some retard with exactly the opposite opinions doesn't cancel you out.
But with mail-based voting, all the hassle is gone. They send you booklets in the days leading up to the election, telling you about all the candidates and measures and bonds and so forth. You sit down with the intention of reading them carefully so you can make informed choices, and then your eyes glaze over after a couple pages and you throw them away. Then the ballot arrives about 2 1/2 weeks before Election Day. You vote whenever you feel like it, put the ballot in a Secrecy Envelope, sign the back of the envelope (which they compare to your voter registration card to make sure it's really you), put the Secrecy Envelope in a regular envelope, and mail it off. As long as it arrives by Election Day, you're good.
The envelope isn't postage-paid, so you have to provide your own stamp, and that's my one critique of the program. Other than that, it's so absurdly convenient to vote that I'm perplexed as to why Oregon doesn't have noticeably higher voter turnout rates than other states do. Come on, you lazy, fur-trapping, Lewis-and-Clark-worshipping potheads! If mailing the ballot to your house and letting you take 20 days to decide who to vote for isn't easy enough, then you don't deserve democracy.
Also, in many areas, bars are closed on Election Day to prevent people from voting while intoxicated. But when the voting is done by mail, you can get as drunk as you want in the comfort of your own living room or at your neighborhood tavern, then vote for whomever your drunken heart desires. (Note: I did not do this.)
So anyway, I've already cast my ballot in this crucial mid-term election. If it should come out this week that the candidates I voted for are Nazi white supremacist back-alley abortionists, oh well! I already voted. No take-backs.
I bring the whole thing up partially because I want to brag about being a good citizen, but also because I want to talk about my very favorite subject: crazy people and the crazy things they do.
Some background first. As you know, the typical ballot has several measures and propositions on it. Some of these have no obvious "right" answer; a reasonable person could justifiably vote either way. For example, if there were a measure that said:
Shall the state constitution be amended to allow the hunting for sport of twentysomethings who wear T-shirts with ironic slogans?
... you could logically argue both sides. On the one hand, everyone is tired of hipsters who wear T-shirts with ironic slogans. But on the other hand, some would call hunting them for sport "murder."
To help voters decide, the voter booklet features paid statements from people and organizations on both sides of the issue. Anyone with $500 can buy half a page and say whatever they want to about the measure, either for it or against it. Some measures have several of these statements from each side.
But then there are other measures that are no-brainers, where it is obvious that every sane person will vote the same way, where putting it on the ballot is just a formality. The no-brainer this year in Multnomah County (i.e., Portland) is to renew the levy that uses part of your property taxes to pay for the public libraries. It has to be renewed every five years, and it covers 50 percent of the libraries' operating costs. Without the levy, the libraries close down. With the levy, the libraries stay open, and in fact two new branches will open next year.
So basically, if you vote YES on this measure, you are voting for Portland to continue to have libraries. If you vote NO, you are saying Portland shouldn't have libraries. And who could possibly be against libraries?! Who in the world is anti-literacy?! NO ONE! you say. But again, you are mistaken, and I don't know why you keep shouting.
I'm flipping through the voter booklet, and I see nine "ARGUMENT IN FAVOR" articles, and I'm chuckling because really, did we need NINE different paid endorsements from people saying that yeah, we should have libraries? Seems like overkill, I thought, especially since each one was basically repeating the same thing: "They're LIBRARIES. There are BOOKS there. We NEED them. WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT LIBRARIES?!"
And then I got to the last one: "ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION."
What? Someone paid $500 to come out AGAINST libraries? The hell?
Her name is Toni Manning. She is the executive director of an organization called Friends for Safer Libraries. (Visit the Web site here.) She is the executive director of this organization because she is also its founder and, as far as I can tell, its only member. She and her 10-year-old daughter, Heidi, were at one of the county's library branches one day when a man using one of the library's computers accessed pornography on the Internet, which Heidi happened to accidentally see when she was standing near him. Toni Manning decided that because of this, Multnomah County should not have libraries.
Well, first she decided that the libraries should use a filter to prevent patrons from accessing pornography. But since those filters have not been deployed, she's decided the people's tax dollars should not support the libraries. The libraries can stay open for all she cares; she just doesn't think citizens should pay for them. If that means the libraries will have to close, then SO BE IT! She will throw that baby RIGHT out with the bathwater! DON'T THINK SHE WON'T!!
Toni's belief that the libraries should employ a filter on the Internet is certainly a defensible one. If it appeared as a measure on the ballot, you could argue both sides convincingly. (The "con" argument, if you're wondering, is that filters are almost always TOO restrictive, thus limiting the Internet's -- and the library's -- usefulness.) But since it isn't, Toni hopes you will take up her position that if the library wants to offer unrestricted Internet access, it should do so without a tax levy.
I brainstormed some ways that the libraries could stay open without relying on tax dollars. Here are some options:
- Raise the fine for overdue books from 25 cents per day to $1,000 per day.
- Rather than lending the books, which is absurd from a business standpoint, require patrons to buy them.
- Sell a "Naughty Librarians" pin-up calendar.
- Persuade the county to levy a "self-righteous lunatic" tax and draw income from that instead.
Anyway, since I like the library and use it often to borrow books and to look at Internet pornography, I hope you will vote YES on Multnomah County Measure 26-81. Also, please vote YES on Measure 39-24, which would prohibit parents from using their children as political pawns. Also, please don't call us the Beaver State.
This item has 28 comments
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Sam says:
October 30, 2006 at 3:31 amAhh .. I see you linked to her site - so you'll definitely be noticed - I'm crossing my fingers for an angry letter!
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Tom says:
October 30, 2006 at 5:46 amIf the voters are sufficiently upset with library policy, what better way to get that policy changed than to withhold tax dollars? I'm guessing that Toni wants to get enough "no" votes to "send a message" and frighten the bureaucrats into changing their policy. If she actually gets enough votes to defeat the levy, the libraries won't die from losing half their income. They'll be crippled, and presumably they'll change the policy to which the voters objected, leading to the restoration of funds at the next election ... one would hope. (Personally, I almost always vote in favor of tax levies, but then I don't own any real estate to be taxed.)
Sometimes, though, voter revolts aren't so much about policy. The voters just don't feel they can afford to pay taxes. My hometown school district in Ohio failed to get an operating levy passed for several elections in a row, and finally the schools had to be closed for several months. I think there was some dissatifaction with the school board, but mostly the reason was that property owners without school-age children in that economically depressed district didn't want to part with their money.
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Euphrasie says:
October 30, 2006 at 9:12 amI had to request a mail in ballot (in AZ)...but it came with a postage paid envelope. The request card was prepaid too. So there. ;)
And there was a proposition to switch over to all mail-in voting. Yeah for convenience!
Nice article, and good job on voting!
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stupidramblings says:
October 30, 2006 at 10:06 amIf ONLY I lived in The Beaver State I could vote on this issue. And if only I had registered to vote, I could vote on any issue. It's not that I didn't want to register, it's that I didn't have time. I mean, I've only been in my current house for two years and no one came by to sign me up. It's not like I wasn't there. I don't go anywhwere.
It's probably the Repulicans trying to keep me down.
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Tyler! says:
October 30, 2006 at 10:38 amSo Toni makes a reasonable argument in regards to the suggested filters and I agree with Eric that the state legislatures should consider the filter. However I, being lazy, visited Multnomah County's election web site per Eric's suggestion (with much effort) and only read the first paragraph of Toni's "ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION". I laughed. It sounds terribly like Toni was the one that exposed her poor daughter to the graphic pornography. Bad Toni.
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B says:
October 30, 2006 at 10:43 amToo bad Toni Manning doesn't have Carl Monday on her side. More information about Carl Monday can be found on the internet.
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Eric Herman says:
October 30, 2006 at 11:01 amThis article wasn't very funny. Actually, it was, but I'm just exercising my right to make "it wasn't that funny" comments.
I've got the mail-in votes here in my county in Washington, but I wonder if this will actually increase voter 'turnout' or not. I'm really bad about getting mail and putting it aside somewhere and forgetting about it. Case in point... I had completely forgotten about my mail-in vote package until I read this.
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Brandon says:
October 30, 2006 at 11:57 amYou will truly become an Oregonian, Eric, when you recycle the voter booklet rather than throw it away. --Love, Your Fellow Oregonian in Las Vegas.
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Tom says:
October 30, 2006 at 12:58 pmThese referendums sound surprisingly intelligent. In Florida, where I live, we go in for much stupider ones. For instance, currently in our state constitution there are a few lines specifying that pigs not be kept in cages too small for them to turn around in.
There's also a note specifying that we must have a statewide high speed monorail. Somewhere beneath that is yet another amendment saying "Hey, forget about that whole high speed monorail thing you read earlier."
I can't wait to see what random things we'll be voting on this year.
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Super Deadly Ham Attack says:
October 30, 2006 at 2:13 pmI'm sad to say that here in NY state we have library funding iniatives on our ballots, and the chances of them passing aren't great. Not because of internet smut, but because people don't want to pay higher taxes.
In any case, staffing the libraries with naughty librarians will solve both problems; can we get that on the ballot?
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Alfred says:
October 30, 2006 at 2:21 pmVoter turn out in Washington involves the questions of party lines, and drug supply.
It is illegal in Washington for an able bodied male to allow a woman to drive.
Oregon can be respelled to Oronge which is kind of creepy.There was something like this Washington. A person was perusing porn sites. The computer could be seen quite easily from the kids section. The parents asked for filters. The library refused. The taxpayers wrote a law demanding it. The library yelled censorship. And then the taxpayers stopped paying for the librbaries. The librarians still say it is censorship. They are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to trump around and complain about this censorship. The original library was taken over books and all by the city of Selah. Filters where put on the computers. And we all lived happily ever after. Odd no?
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Lowdogg says:
October 30, 2006 at 4:15 pmI vote for a filter for all of Eric Herman's comments where he says the columns aren't funny because they offend me! Just kidding. His comment made me smile.
My only concern with voting by mail and increased cases of absentee voting is the possibility of more voter fraud. There are thousands of dead "voters" across the country, and it would seem easy for those to slip through.
But glad you voted Eric.
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Jane says:
October 30, 2006 at 7:33 pmI work in a library and we run into this kind of problem all the time- patrons viewing porn, I mean, not other patrons being grouchy about it. If we catch somebody we stop them, and the computers that are visible to children are pretty closely monitored.
The problem is that it's ridiculously easy to bypass most filters, especially now that people can sign up to see porn videos in their e-mail, because none of the e-mail sites are filtered.
And Eric- although you may find it surprising, it's terrifying how many people here in Ohio don't seem to think we need libraries anymore. Our circulation statistics keep going up, so people are using us more, but we also hear more comments about "oh, I can just look that up on Google." Also Ohio citizens are very reluctant to pay taxes for *anything*, including roads and schools. Some of our employees did actually suggest putting out a nude librarians calendar as a fundraiser.
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Sarah says:
October 31, 2006 at 12:07 amWashington kicks Oregon's butt anytime!
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Momma Snider says:
October 31, 2006 at 9:21 amI have to wonder, if this library tax levy renewal doesn't pass, will taxes even be lowered? It depends on the wording, I guess, but sometimes the taxes continue and are just not directed to the library any more.
I really don't like the mentality where the baby goes out with the bathwater. Closing libraries, or even refusing to fund them, because someone inside is not behaving properly is a little extreme.
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Jason Leslie Wright says:
October 31, 2006 at 10:06 amI know that in certain parts of Ohio they actually had certain computers in the library designated for allowing porn. They always faced a back wall and had screen filters that made it so you could only see the screen if you were looking directly at it. If you saw it from an angle it just looked like it was off.
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Mike Norton says:
October 31, 2006 at 12:44 pmDid anyone read the first sentence of Toni Manning's argument against 26-81? It's great, especially if taken out of context (imagine Toni Manning saying this and nothing else to you):
"My 10-year-old daughter Heidi was exposed to graphic pornography while standing next to me at the Gresham branch of the Multnomah County Library."
Unless you read the rest of her argument, it sounds more like a parenting issue than a library one. :)
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Alfred says:
October 31, 2006 at 12:49 pmSarah yeah pretty much. Oregon and Washington have had a terrible culture war going on for years. They flash gange signs to there favorite coffee, and tell every one which place is greener. The big cop out is that if there is some one cool in either state, the opposing state will say that person is from Idaho.
Jane- I don't want it too seem that we don't appreciate libraries. My highschool had this huge presentation on Censorship. One of the Selah librarians was visiting. She complained over the entire matter. Then we found out how much she was being paid to come here and complain. We where not to impressed with her.
Funny thing is Selah is a native word for peacefull calm place. Then why is Selah so high strung?
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Kathy Tyner says:
October 31, 2006 at 3:59 pmI notice both Ms. Manning's comments and at least one of the people in favor of the continuing the levy could be misconstrued. Having worked in a library I saw some of the nuttiness involved with this and like issues. My particular branch stopped carrying Playboy and Penthouse not because we were seeking to either censor or get in line with community standards, depending whose viewpoint was in play, but simply because it was stolen EVERY week. Most of the librarirans and staff I worked with didn't like the idea of book banning or censorship, but they found it pretty distasteful to feel like an institution that was dedicated to literacy was being used for some pervert to get his rocks off. One of the "compromises" that was used is something that, no kidding, is called a "condom". It's a piece of equipment that is supposed to block anyone being able to catch the subject matter being viewed from the sides, and sort of from the top, thus hoping to impair anyone else seeing objectionable material other than the patron requesting it. The caveat no one counts on, (because most people would never do this in public), is that the individual will often become aroused and start masturbating right there in the library. Now imagine a librarian having to go up to this pervert and ask them to cease, desist and leave immediately or go get the security guard all the while wondering about all the work they went to to get a Master's degree in Library Science. Most librarians as you might guess don't like that part of the job. I have met a few librarians that take the free speech thing to an absurd degree. They not only think people have a right to view porn, they see to it that there are condom machines in the bathrooms and the community room available to organizations like NAMBLA. Fortunately most of the librarians I knew were not of that mindset. One of the arguements "For" gushed about how parents have worked the library to "make it a safer place". To their credit they went on about how they and their kids go through all the different media together as it should be. One other thing that went unmentioned in all this is that unfortunately a good many parents use the local library as their afterschool and school day off daycare. Kids find their way their after school or are dropped off in the morning and left there for hours on end. These parents are what we would call "idiots". It's a little much to think a kid unless they are the type that loves books, can keep from being bored all those hours and not get into mischief. The head librarian sometimes got stuck waiting with a kid after the library had closed because an irresponsible parent was working late or forgot their kid was there. It is a sad fact that libraries are an attractive place for perverts and predators and if you leave your kid there unsupervised it won't go unnoticed by these creeps. Which often goes hand-in-hand with the porn they view. We had a regular molester who would grope girls in the book stacks and often took off before the police could arrive. If we were lucky enough to spot him coming in, one of the staff would shadow him the whole time until he got frustrated enough to leave. And you thought libraries were just for getting and reading books! Anyway, just thought I'd clue you all in. I think libraries still need to be funded, but the community definitely needs to get involved and know what goes on at their local branch and be willing to volunteer some time there. Glad Eric voted. We vote absentee and love it. We also love our moms and apple pie.
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Kaydria says:
November 2, 2006 at 12:51 amI work in a library in Washington and we don't have a big problem with creeps looking at internet porn. Sure, it happens from time to time, but we always take care of it when we hear about it. To suggest that we should lose our funding because of that is absurd.
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Jane says:
November 2, 2006 at 3:30 pmUpdate: Someone *has* done a semi-naked librarians calendar (naughty bits covered)! See here.
If you are offended by scantily clad male librarians you should probably not click on the above link.
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Mike says:
November 3, 2006 at 4:19 pmTo Jane: Just wondering what part of Ohio you are talking about. Where I grew up we were taxed through the nose. I don't know how my parents put up with it. Their property taxes are unreal, and they have a local income tax on top of the state income tax. If I were in their position, and the city/county asked for one more cent for libraries, I would vote against the proposal.
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FieryD says:
November 4, 2006 at 5:21 pmI've been getting into a lot of political discussions recently with one of my friends and was flabbergasted to find him dead set against public libraries and public schools. He then follows that up by complaining that our population is undereducated because they were (for the most part) educated in public schools.
Actually, I've seen a lot of things where people don't really care what they're against if there's a hope that getting rid of it will make it so they don't have to pay as much in taxes. Why do we keep wasting money on roads, police, and courts anyway?
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Sallie Covolo says:
November 12, 2006 at 5:11 pmI know that Toni did not want libraries to be done away with. She is not a political person. She is a nurse, mother of three and an avid scrapbooker, plus active in her church. Her husband worked in the school library when they were attending college and her uncle was a library co-ordinator in Massachussetts so to say that she wanted libraries done away with is just plain ignorant. She just wanted them to use the federal monies available to libraries who filter their computers. They forfeited quite a bit of money over the years by placing first ammendment rights over childrens rights.
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Toni Manning says:
November 16, 2006 at 1:18 amA few days after our Multnomah County Library levy passed a man was arrested for looking at child pornography in public at the downtown library.
The MC library really showed him, and took away his library card for three years. The kids who posed for that porn will still be suffering long after he is back in our well funded libraries.
Can you tell I'm a little mad?
I just got of the phone with the Portland Police. They said this is not the first time they have confiscated library computers due to child porn. That's so so sad...very sad...What are WE going to do about this?
The police detective also said, " Unfortunately, it's not a crime to expose children to adult pornography, or we'd have a lot more computers confiscated."
Something must be done to make the libraries safer for children, but who has the guts to step up to the plate?
Is it going to take a rape fueled by library Internet porn ?
Sad to say, I doubt even that would encourage MCL to filter out the porn.
I'm glad Library Board Member Rob Brading lost. I truly believe it was his stand against library Internet filters that lead to his demise.
I think he was the only democrat in the Country who lost.
The majority of the tax paying public want the library Internet filters, at least the ones I've talked to do.
sad and concerned for Oregon, Toni Manning
Toni Manning
Friends For Safer Libraries
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toni manning says:
November 16, 2006 at 1:26 amOh yes, by the way I voted for the school bonds that failed! Multnomah County voted in a huge library levy hike, and voted down school bonds. Apparently fancy libraries with marble floors and child porn are more important than well funded schools. Shame on voters who don't do their homework. ~ Toni Manning
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Tyrone Slothrop says:
November 18, 2006 at 10:53 pmAs Thoreau said, "There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."
I don't believe libraries are the root of the pornography problem, and certainly getting rid of them or their funding will not serve the public good any better than, say, de-funding the police department would (they're just as culpable, aren't they, for not enforcing the laws?), or just shutting down the whole government, 'cause face it, they're not doing a very good job of keeping you out of harm's way, are they?
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Sallie Covolo says:
May 16, 2007 at 8:44 pmShe was not trying to get rid of the libraries. She just wanted them to get filters..Oh well, you will never understand! It is hopeless confusing some people with facts..
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
Notes:
And you thought when I moved out of Utah I wouldn't be able to make fun of overzealous moral crusaders anymore! The entirety of Toni Manning's "ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION" is on Multnomah County's election Web site, if you'd like to read it. (Scroll to the bottom.) Her opinion that the libraries should filter the Internet is valid, and I agree with her that the local politicians who have fought against the filter on First Amendment grounds are off-base. But trying to get the libraries shut down until they comply is a bit excessive.
Fun fact: There are many individual counties in America that do voting by mail, but only in Oregon is it statewide.
There is a lot of shouting in this column. I apologize for that, but a lot of my readers are deaf.
For the first 36 hours this column was online, the second paragraph began "Oregonians are passé about it" instead of "Oregonians are blasé about it." The words are similar, obviously, but have completely unrelated definitions. I only noticed the mistake on Tuesday, when I happened to see the word "passé" in the newspaper and it triggered a reaction in my mind: Waitasec, I used that word the other day ... and I didn't use it to mean THIS! I'm ashamed of the error, but even more ashamed that no sharp-eyed readers caught it.
By the way, the library levy passed, though not by a terribly large margin. The vote was something like 56 percent. I guess there are a lot of people who will always vote against EVERY tax, no matter what it's for.