I have three random movie observations to make today.

First, while viewing “Cold Mountain” at a press screening this morning, I was reminded once again that if a movie character coughs without an obvious reason (he’s in a burning building, someone has lit a cigarette in his face, etc.), then it means that character is going to die. The coughing, it turns out, will have been an early indication he or she is fatally ill. Non-dying people do not cough in movies.

Second, Donald Sutherland’s head is at least twice the size of Nicole Kidman’s.

Third, I was watching “Dancer in the Dark,” a film I had problems with when it was released, but which I decided to have another go at. Early in the film, Bjork’s character is at the movies with a friend, who is describing the action to Bjork, because Bjork is going bjlind. They do not whisper; they speak in normal tones. A man in the theater tells them to be quiet, but they refuse, and continue to talk, not just to describe the film, but to make comments like, “I love it when they dance!” And yet, for the rest of the movie, we’re supposed to sympathize with Bjork’s character? I don’t think so! Whatever happens to her after that, she deserves, up to and including being hanged. She’s lucky the man in the theater didn’t kill her right there, as was his legal right.

Still lovin’ “24.” It’s not as exciting as the first two seasons (especially season 2, which had me urinating in my trousers on almost a weekly basis), but it’s still pretty good, particularly as we witness Jack’s increasingly bad sense of judgment.

Pretty much everything he’s done so far this season has turned out to be a bad idea. He busts what’s-his-name out of prison, starts a riot in the process, gets some people killed (finally, a season-3 kill to Jack’s credit!), then escapes in a helicopter just as word comes in that the jail-break is unnecessary. Later, he barely misses getting the message yet again. It reminds me of the scene in “Holy Grail” when John Cleese is running through the castle, swording every person he sees, in order to save the princess who turns out to be a man.

Naturally, Jack winds up taking what’s-his-name into the L.A. subway. No one I know has ever ridden the L.A. subway. Many people wouldn’t even know it existed if they didn’t see it in films all the time. I think it was built just so movies and TV shows could have scenes set in it. (City councilman: “Ladies and gentlemen, if we spend $42 million to build a subway system, dozens of movies that would have otherwise been set in New York could be set in L.A. instead.”)

Something else I’m glad to see on “24″: Kim Bauer returning to her rightful position as Dumb Girl Being Held Hostage. I wasn’t buying the whole “I know what I’m doing at CTU” thing; this is a girl who once got caught in a beartrap and was subsequently harassed by a cougar. Anyone with that combination of events on his or her résumé should not be hired for anything other than the most demeaning of seasonal work, such as pumpkin-picker or elf-washer. So when Kim stumbled upon the pivotal information at the end of this week’s episode, I knew there was no way she’d actually do something useful with it. I knew she’d get caught, and held at gunpoint, before she had the chance. And sure enough, in walks the other what’s-his-name, whom they should have known was a mole just from his slicked-back hair. (What’s with CTU’s human resources department, anyway? Are they ONLY hiring moles these days?) Now she’s back to being a victim again, where she belongs, until such time as the writers see fit to kill her.