Angry Letter: Dumb people don’t like having their dumbness pointed out
Because I was tired of people asking me for celebrities’ e-mail addresses — even though nothing on my site implies I would have them — I put a warning on my e-mail page saying this:
STOP: If you are going to ask Eric how to contact a celebrity, DON’T. Eric has no such information for ANY famous person. If you ask him anyway, despite this warning, Eric will write back and tell you how stupid you are. And he’ll be right to do so.
There has been a distinct drop-off in e-mail-address requests since then, but I do still get one occasionally. And when I get one, I do indeed respond and tell the person how stupid he or she is.
Here is the latest:
Hi! I just want to know the e-mai adress of elizabeth winstead. Plaese! Can I have it?? I promise I will not give it to anyone because I also care for her privacy.. Please reply! She is really beautiful and I like her very much. I just want her to be my friend. I’m one of her biggest fans!! I would really appreciate your kindness!!
From,
Angel
I replied:
The page you just e-mailed me from says this:
[I repeat the above-quoted warning.]
So: You’re a very stupid person. It says specifically that I don’t have contact info for any celebrity, and yet you asked me anyway. That is stupid.
Eric
Angel replied:
Oh!!! I’m sorry and CHILL!!!! Don’t call me stupid bcoz i’m not been raised as a stupid one bcoz im studying and im a scholar and also a valedectorian!!!!! So please be careful of your words!!! Bcoz some1 is being hurt!!!! Thank u, anyways!! For your politeness!! And remember that im not stupid! its just a simple question though!!! I asked only for the e-mailadd of mary elizabeth! You can reply Nicely!!DUH!!! Who are you anyway and are you close to mary elizabeth winstead???
Sigh. All that, and she STILL thinks I know Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s e-mail address. I don’t even know who she is! (An actress, apparently. I’m guessing she was in a movie I reviewed, but I don’t feel like looking her up.)
November 14th, 2006 at 1:10 am
Wait — you _don’t_ know Elizabeth Winstead? Well, that does it. I am sooo done with this blog.
p.s. She is really beautiful and I like her very much!!! I just want her to be my friend!!! I’m one of her biggest fans!!! I would really appreciate your kindness!!!!!!!!!
November 14th, 2006 at 2:35 am
I weep for a nation whose valedictorians can’t even spell the word “valedictorian.” That letter in all of its horribly spelled and punctuated glory causes me pain.
November 14th, 2006 at 8:35 am
I’m wondering how a valedictorian made it that far with such poor spelling/grammar and a total inability to read directions.
November 14th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Valedictorian of her “alternative” high school probably. You know, the high school where they send people who have been expelled from real high schools. The place where they spend two hours a day in the classroom, and three hours a day on smoking breaks. The place where they don’t differentiate between a “diploma” and a “G.E.D.” just in case they may hurt the feelings of the social rejects who go there.
November 14th, 2006 at 11:55 am
To save us all a little time (and satisfy my curiosity):
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935541/
November 14th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Black Christmas:
” A group of sorority sisters find themselves being harassed by a stranger with menacing phone-calls and begin to die, one by one on Christmas Break.”
Ha-awesome!
November 14th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
Someone called “Mary Elizabeth Winstead” comes up in your reviews for Final Destination 3 (she played Wendy, the heroine/final girl) and Sky High (Gwen.)
November 14th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
I love how this moron says she’s a valedictorian as if it’s an occupation.
Seriously, I almost hurt myself trying to decipher that second e-mail she sent. Anyone who doesn’t see why people wouldn’t like reading something written in that manner is, indeed, stupid.
And as for the alternative school comment, I might add that it’s also the school where the students call their teachers by their first names.
November 15th, 2006 at 12:12 am
Troll
November 15th, 2006 at 3:08 am
Phew! I’m not the only one who didn’t know who Mary Elizabeth Winstead was.
Interesting that I sat through Final Destination 3 and she made no impression on me whatsoever.
Regarding Black Christmas — The remake may turn out to suck, but the 1974 original is pretty good.
November 15th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
I notice that Eric gave good grades to both of her movies that he reviewed. That must mean something.