Friday movie roundup – ON A WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!
We’ll have to make this quick, ‘cuz it’s 2 a.m. and I have to get up at 5 to catch a plane to California for Thanksgiving. (You see, I’m in such a hurry that I couldn’t even spell out the word “because.”)
Most of this year’s holiday offerings are actually pretty good, which is always a pleasant change of pace. There is one notable exception, but we’ll deal with that momentarily.
“Deja Vu” is solidly entertaining. Ironically, despite the title, the movie actually DOESN’T seem familiar. It’s quite original.
“The Fountain” is Darren Aronofsky’s long-awaited follow-up to “Requiem for a Dream.” It’s a mesmerizing film, but one without an easy-to-grasp linear plot. People either love it or hate it. I’m more in the “love” category (well, “like a lot”). But I won’t be offended if you see it and hate it.
“Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny” has some hilarious moments and some dead ones, too. Tenacious D is a one-joke band, and the film is a one-joke movie. That joke can be pretty funny sometimes, though.
Finally, there’s “Deck the Halls,” most assuredly the worst Christmas comedy I’ve ever seen and one of the lousiest films of any genre of 2006. I know some of you enjoy my reviews of awful movies, and I have to say, I kinda let “Deck the Halls” have it with both barrels. If “Deck the Halls” were a person, I would probably feel bad now. But then, if “Deck the Halls” were a person, I would have it charged with assault.
Kurt Vonnegut once said: “Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.” The quote has been applied to movie critics, too, usually by people who have made bad movies and wondered why the critics savaged them. All I can say is that sitting through an awful movie can be sheer TORTURE, especially when you know you CAN’T WALK OUT. You’re stuck there until the stupid thing is over. When that happens, writing a scathing review can be cathartic, a way of getting the poison out and letting the healing begin.
On that note, happy Thanksgiving!
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:37 pm
I don’t blame you for hating Deck the Halls. I loathed the trailer, which I’ve seen far too many times. Maybe thrice, I think. Way, way, way too many times. I hate my television for forcing it on me, and myself for being glued to it during the commercials that interrupted Heroes. (Can . . . not . . . look . . . away.)
Even though I saw all the twists in this week’s episode coming in the first five minutes, if not earlier. Still couldn’t look away. I have problems.
November 27th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
I thoroughly enjoyed the review of Deck the Halls. I could tell this was a humongous, stinking, putrid pile of elephant dung from the first time I saw the trailer. And the review not only confirmed that immediate suspicion, it also added a great deal of amusement to my hatred of all movies that strive to exploit holiday audiences with this kind of utter drivel.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:55 am
I just can’t figure out how someone seemingly as smart as Matthew Broderick could make such astoundingly bad career choices. I mean, Inspector Gadget? This pile of crap? Danny DeVito having bad taste doesn’t surprise me for some reason but it just seems like MB should be a little wiser than this. At some point, doesn’ somebody look around and say, “Hey, we’re spending millions of dollars on a giant piece of crap!”
December 1st, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I was dragged to this movie, which I hadn’t even heard of, by the family I ate Thanksgiving with (they have small children). It’s every bit as awful as one could imagine. It’s an hour and a half that I’ll never get back. Reading the review afterwards made me feel better.
The most depressing thing is that the theater was full to capacity, with people fighting over seats. What have we become?