Eric D. Snider

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Bears: The latest in torture tactics?

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A devoted reader named Shawn e-mailed me with alarming news:

I just caught a commercial for “Captivity,” the upcoming horror movie with Elisha Cuthbert (one would assume that she plays a young girl in peril). It’s rated R, of course, but I was disturbed to see that it’s rated R for “strong violence, torture, pervasive terror, GRIZZLY IMAGES, language, and some sexual material.” I don’t know about you, but I find images of grizzlies highly offensive. Especially if they’re not eating Elisha Cuthbert.

I can only hope that no one notices the grizzly reference for a while. Someone needs to tell Stephen Colbert about this.

Sure enough, if you visit the movie’s official site, you’ll see that the film is rated R for the reasons Shawn cited, including “grizzly images.” The word should be “grisly,” of course — unless there are indeed images of grizzlies, and those images somehow contributed to the film’s being inappropriate for viewers under 17 unless accompanied by parent or guardian. Maybe the bears are doin’ it?

We’ll find out on July 13, unless the release date gets pushed back, as it has been twice already. In the meantime, stay alert, and keep watching the forests.

12 Responses to “Bears: The latest in torture tactics?”

  1. David Says:

    Brilliant! Although, it could be stupid studios printing the wrong thing on their posters, or the MPAA making a mistake…

    And speaking of ratings information, I remember when I phoned up the Odeon ticket-line to reserve some seats for ‘Team America - World Police’. The automated voice said:

    “Team America - World Police is rated ‘15′ for violent scenes, strong language, puppet sex and some disturbing images.” Clearly the people at Odeon have a tidy sense of humour.

  2. Chrystle Says:

    You’re British, aren’t you David.

  3. Andrew Says:

    Speaking of inappropriate puppets:

    Anyone been to see Avenue Q in New York? It’s a musical that’s basically an adult Sesame Street. It’s hilarious and wildly inappropriate, but it makes me laugh.

    One of the posters for the show reads: “Caution: Full Puppet Nudity.” No matter how many times I see that poster, it still makes me giggle.

  4. David Manning Says:

    They most definitely are grizzlies! Didn’t you look at the poster? “EATERS EVERYWHERE!”

  5. John Doe Says:

    This blog, along with David Manning’s post, have me cracking up. Oh, it’s nice to laugh at silly things like this.

  6. Crystal Says:

    The bears are naked, of course! Full-frontal bare bear!

  7. David Says:

    Indeed I am, Chrystle. Can’t you tell by my quirky nature and bowler hat? ;)

  8. B Says:

    Of course grizzlies are inappropriate for anyone under 17. After all, they are godless killing machines.

  9. Steven Gardner Says:

    http://www.tshirtbordello.com/images/bear-threat-shirt-sm.gif

    sorry. earlier post didn’t work.

  10. Argus Skyhawk Says:

    I hate it when directors insert gratuitous bear scenes into a film just to get a hipper rating.

  11. Tina-Banina Says:

    That was the official advisement for team-america. It’s printed on the movie.

  12. David Says:

    Tina-Banina, yes, indeed it was. But I thought it unusual to have the “puppet sex” line in the rating information. Usually it’s “content of a sexual nature”, especially when it’s on a phone line kids can ring up.

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