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An Instant Messenger exchange between my brother Jeff and me

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An Instant Messenger exchange between my brother Jeff and me:

JEFF: [Someone we know] is very much like that [other] weiner, in that she dances from one subject to another without ever addressing the criticisms of what she says.

ME: Yeah, that’s true.

JEFF: In addition to the obvious similarity of both being idiots.

ME: And wieners.

JEFF: Is that how you spell it?

ME: I before E, my friend.

JEFF: I know that’s the general rule.
JEFF: I guess wiener is the one word in the English language I don’t know how to spell.
JEFF: I knew there must be one.

ME: Wow.
ME: I’m glad we found it.

JEFF: It used to be asphalt.

ME: It’s too bad it’s not an exception to the I before E rule… then the mnemonic device to remember them all could be, “The weird foreigner seizes neither leisure nor weiners.”

JEFF: Totally.
JEFF: For that reason alone, I propose an official change.

ME: I don’t even know who to write to about that.
ME: The Queen?

JEFF: Ms. Miriam Webster.

ME: Good one.

18 Responses to “An Instant Messenger exchange between my brother Jeff and me”

  1. Jonathon Says:

    Merriam-Webster already has weiner as a variant spelling, presumably because so many people have spelled it wrong for so long.

  2. Super Deadly Ham Attack Says:

    That’s the problem with English, the rules are always full of loopholes. I before E is fine, except as in C, or something about your neighbors and weigh, and weird doesn’t fit any of those. I propose we all just spell/pronouce it “weenah” with a fake obnoxious boston accent.

  3. GWGumby Says:

    That’s pretty weird.

  4. richrich Says:

    weeny is ok. poohead is preferable.

  5. Eric B Says:

    Wien is the German name of Vienna, where the wiener sausage originates from. Most i before e words came to English from its German or Dutch siblings.

  6. Greg Says:

    Was the spelling of weiners intentional in your mnemonic device? Would be more funny if it was a mistake.

  7. Turkey Says:

    Why would it be a mistake? If he’s adding it as if it were part of the list of exceptions, then obviously it would be spelled like one of the exceptions with I after E. Weirdo.

  8. Momma Snider Says:

    Eric B, thanks for that. I never know how to spell it, either, so I just don’t write it.

    But don’t you love how my two guys work things out without fighting?

  9. Momma Snider Says:

    What I meant to say is that now I will remember, because of Vienna.

  10. BeeDub Says:

    I before E except after C, and when sounding like A as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!

    …that’s a hard rule…

  11. Carrie Says:

    Write the people of Vienna since that’s where Wiener comes from.

  12. Carrie Says:

    I suppose I should read the other comments before I comment myself.

  13. Paul Says:

    BeeDub, nice Brian Regan reference. I always find if there is a word I have a difficult spelling I will just opt for a synonym instead. I’m kind of a vienna/pooh-head like that.

  14. Paul Says:

    This site needs a way to edit posts. Insert “time” in between difficult and spelling.

  15. LittleWoodenBoy Says:

    Does “science” count?

  16. Sara R Says:

    If you ever meet someone from Vienna, you can legitimately call that person a Wiener (veen-ah). In German Wiener is a person from Vienna.

  17. Carrie Says:

    Well, Wiener could be anything (in the right gender and case, of course) of Viennese origin. For example, “She’s a Wiener” would not be correct.

  18. lolly Says:

    How lovely to see so many others amused by the sort of thing most people think I’m a total dork for being amused by! (And how was that for some terrible sentence structure? I’ll blame it on the late hour.)

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