‘Snide Remarks’ Classic: The adventures of Raoul
Every now and then a person enters your life and you think, “I could write a column about this person every week and never run out of material.” Or at least that’s what I think. Such a person for me was Pablo, known in “Snide Remarks” as Raoul, my housemate from Christmas 2003 until June 2004.
I direct your attention to the two columns I wrote about him, “Doing Tiempo” and “Señor Clean,” which appeared seven weeks apart in spring 2004. (I referred to him again at the end of “U-Haul Come Back Now, Ya Hear?,” a few weeks later.) Reading these columns again reminds me of more stories I could tell about him, like how he was obsessed with Princess Diana and would constantly re-watch a video tape of some TV special about her, or how one time he was late with his rent because he had accidentally washed his paycheck.
Good ol’ Pablo. I have no idea what became of him. He’s the kind of person who, despite being dim-witted and disaster-prone, will probably never actually be killed or even injured. He’s probably a millionaire now.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:55 am
Those were excellent columns.
September 5th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Eric, I think Pablo needs a whole book dedicated to him. I love characters like that, though not at the time I am having to put up with them. When I was at University, a couple of friends of mine shared a room in the halls I was living in. Both very nice guys, but one of them was a complete slob. The non-slobby one would recant stories on an almost daily basis about the mess his roommate was causing. Incidents included:
- Spilling a 2kg bag of flour in the middle of the room, and not cleaning it up for 3 weeks.
- Cooking baked beans, filling the saucepan with water and washing-up liquid, and then leaving it outside on the window ledge.
- Coming back from a game of football, taking off his stinky socks, and leaving them to dry on the radiator.
- Using a combination of deodorant, aftershave and Febreeze instead of doing laundry.
- Walking up and down the room eating a leaking Pot Noodle, resulting in stinky chicken stock being spilt everywhere.
- And on one occasion, he actually threw empty beer cans over his shoulder into the corner of the room to get rid of them. They stayed for about a fortnight.
And then the slobby one moved out
September 5th, 2007 at 11:50 am
This reminds me of the world’s slobbiest college roommate who frequently skipped off with his fiancee after making messes. One day his fiancee came to visit and we (the clean roommates) asked her why she didn’t visit more often. She politely said that she thought our apartment was just too messy. THIS is a good argument for living together before marriage (not that I endorse such practices).
September 5th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
This reminds me of http://www.mycrazyroommate.com, which recounts the adventures of one “P” who is crazy, paranoid, and Canadian. He is seen through the eyes of his relatively normal, non-crazy, non-Canadian roommate, Matt. Really, you can’t beat that website. I laugh every time.
September 5th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
My roommate in the dorms would throw all her dirty clothes in the closet when room inspection loomed. Trouble is, she also threw her clean clothes in there if she ever washed some, and the only way she could tell if her underwear was clean or not was to smell it.
I was always glad we didn’t have kitchen facilities, because I’d have hated to see our refrigerator.
September 11th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Every time I go to put a dish away that is slightly damp, I remember Raoul and your admonition against wet-dish-putting-away. EVERY SINGLE TIME.