Cimberli: I really get a cick out of you
A 33-year-old middle school principal in Houston is being accused of having an inappropriate relationship with one of her 14-year-old students. There are about 10 news stories like this every day, so I’m not very interested in the details of this one, except when it comes to the principal’s name:
Cimberli Johnson.
She probably thinks her name is pronounced “Kimberly.” No doubt that’s what her parents had in mind when they named her. But there’s a problem here. “Cimberli,” spelled that way, would be pronounced “Simberly.”
English has rules, people! Many of those rules have exceptions, yes, but there are rules!
The letter “C,” when followed by an “I,” “E,” or “Y,” will always make an “S” sound: circus, cinema, cinnamon, Cynthia, century, censor, prophecy, concentrate, calcium, principal, officer, etc. (Words like artificial and special have a “sh” sound rather than “sss,” but the “C” is still functioning as an “S.”)
If you name your daughter Cimberli, you are not being original or clever or unique. All you’re doing is failing.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
A similar rule applies to the letter G. When followed by an i, or an e it makes a sound like a J. Giant, Gentlemen, etc. If you want a hard G sound followed by an I or an E, you need to throw in the letter U. Guess, Guest, Guise, etc.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Maybe it’s the Celtic spelling, like Cillian Murphy.
October 25th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I believe this discussion teaches us a few things. For one thing, we must be cautious about speaking in absolutes i.e. “The letter “C,†when followed by an “I,†“E,†or “Y,†will ALWAYS make an “S†sound.” (This was demonstrated brilliantly by Karen in the example of “celtic.”) Yet I feel comfortable using the following absolutism: we can never fully rely on English grammar having absolutes.
October 25th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
His name is pronounced with a ‘k’ sound?
October 25th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Yes, Cillian is pronounced Killian.
October 25th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I automatically read the name pronounced as “Simberly”
Like Simba… less the “ba”… plus ember… less the “em”… plus Lee…
Sim-ber-lee
That’s just ghetto.
October 25th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Follow-up:
Now, Simba-ember-lee… THAT’s a name to be proud of.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Of course, all this is moot if her name really _is_ supposed to be pronounced “Simberly.”
October 25th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
As bad as this “Everyone Is More Precious Than Everyone Else and Therefore Must Have a Name Unlike Anyone Else’s, As We Continue to Find Out Just How Retarded We Can Get” culture is getting/has gotten, it does make it easier for us to judge people. Without clicking the link, I can automatically deduce that “Cimberli” (in quotes because it doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously) has parents who are morons, and is thus most likely a moron, and - at the risk of creating controversy - that she is black.
“All you’re doing is failing.” - That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read here, Eric.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Now, it’s important not to blame the victim when the victim carries no blame (and here the victim isn’t even the accuser), but you have to wonder what the victim’s grandmother was thinking.
“The teen’s grandmother, who is not being named to protect the boy’s privacy, said she gave him permission to spend the night at Johnson’s home in the Mission Bend community on two occasions earlier this month. The grandmother said she mistakenly believed another adult would be present during the overnight visits.”
But, in the end, if the allegations turn out to be false, I hope that her career isn’t thrashed by the grandmother’s worries.
Now, turning back to the name Cimberlii, if she doesn’t get bothered by people misspelling and mispronouncing her name, I’m cool with that. I wouldn’t give my kid a name like that, but whatever makes her (and her parents) happy is fine by me.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
The English language has no rules. I just learned today that there’s an alternate spelling of “fish.” If you take the “gh” from “enough,” the “o” from “women,” and the “ti” from “nation,” and there’s your new spelling of fish: GHOTI.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Very clever, MSuskie! It took me a minute to figure that one out.
October 25th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I wish I had teachers like this when I was in school.
October 25th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
It’s like naming your kid S***head (Pronounced “Shy-theed”)…only I’m pretty certain parents who name their kid “S***head” are just being jack @$$es
October 25th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
It all depends on whether you believe in the traditional prescriptive rules of the language, or the newer descriptive rules. Talk to a linguist near you for further details.
October 25th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Let’s face it — we don’t need the letter C. We have S, we have K. Think of the money we could save by eliminating this wasteful letter! One less plastic key on billions of toddler toys and keyboards, not to mention the combined energy that is wasted by saving C in a zillion fonts in a kajillion computers.
Oh, wait. We need it for the CH sound.
Eh, we can just give that sound over to X, who we weren’t using anyway.
Also — let’s switch to base 36, so we can use fewer digits to store our numbers. Think of the savings!
October 26th, 2007 at 3:03 am
Living in the South now, I run into these “creative” names all the time. I go out of my way to ensure that I am pronouncing them in the proper way, much to the chagrin of people like Rezshain and Qaticha.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:42 am
I’ve seen the Fish = GHOTI spelling thing in the past. I’ve taken that and created my own phrase: GHLOTI GHOTI which is Fresh Fish.
GH = F as in Enough.
L = R as in Colonel
O = E also in Colonel
TI = SH as in Nation
Also, when I saw the title of this post, I started singing the Cinderelly song that the mice sing to Cinderella. So my initial pronunciation of the name was Sim-ber-el-ly. Which I think would be a really cool name.
October 26th, 2007 at 8:19 am
My wife has cousins named Cevin (Kevin not 7) and Cimberly (Kimberly) this unfortunate set of circumstances developed from an unfortunate game played by the parents. All childrens names had to start with a C. I still think there are enough standard C names that you shouldn’t have to resort to these sort of shenanigans.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:03 am
I did the Cinderelly thing, too, GWGumby.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:23 am
“Let’s face it — we don’t need the letter C. We have S, we have K.”
As any Portuguese or Spanish speaker will tell you, what we really don’t need is K. They’ve managed just fine without it for a long time.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Loved the included diagram. I’ve seen it elsewhere before, but it’s one that will take a lot of views to get tired of.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
“A similar rule applies to the letter G. When followed by an i, or an e it makes a sound like a J. Giant, Gentlemen, etc. If you want a hard G sound followed by an I or an E, you need to throw in the letter U. Guess, Guest, Guise, etc.”
Right. Like gill, gimp, get, gear, girl gibbon . . .
Is it Barry Gibb or Barry Jibb?
Lou Gehrig or Lou Jehrig?
The Gerber Baby or the Jerber Baby?
The Gettysburg Address or the Jettysburg address?
See how these things happen. Nate the Great might name his first born Gennifer, and call her Jennifer, because he in no way intended to name her Guennefer.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Reply to “thejoeinme Says”
“As bad as this “Everyone Is More Precious Than Everyone Else and Therefore Must Have a Name Unlike Anyone Else’s, As We Continue to Find Out Just How Retarded We Can Get†culture is getting/has gotten, it does make it easier for us to judge people. Without clicking the link, I can automatically deduce that “Cimberli†(in quotes because it doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously) has parents who are morons, and is thus most likely a moron, and - at the risk of creating controversy - that she is black.”
Joe -
You can’t always count on the funky spelling to give clues to a person’s ethnicity. In 1993, which was really before this all got so out of hand, I saw a birth announcement in the Houston paper for “Synnamin Lanae”, and we joked around that her parents had made sure she would never be the first black president, because how could you take someone with a name like that seriously?? In 1995, little Synnamin Lanae’s parents ran an ad wishing her a happy 2nd birthday (like she was going to see it and feel special) and THIS TIME included a photo, in which we realized she would never be the first black anything, and learned a little lesson.
However, in the case of the school principal, you are correct, she is black.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
At least English isn’t to blame for the whole Philippines/Filipino thing.
October 27th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I wouldn’t have thought Cimberli was black. To me the name sounds bubbly blonde.
I think the worst example given here is Gossie’s: Cevin. It’s one thing to do all this cutesy stuff to girls, but when a boy has to spell his name stupidly, it’s got to be tough.
October 27th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I think it’s almost as bad to name your kid something boring or overly popular like John or Emily. No kid wants to spend all of grade school known as “Emily B” or “John M” because there were 2-3 other Emilys and Johns in every damn class they joined. My mother wanted to stick me with Jennifer, which was the #1 most popular girl’s name from 1970 to 1984 (according to the Social Security Administration’s records). Thank goodness my dad got to the birth certificate first. You know how many times I was in a class with not 1, not 2, but 3 Jennifers? Well… a lot, and I would have made it 4.
My little sister Jennifer ate that bullet.
I’m not saying that we should reach as far as stupid names like Cimberli. But I think it’s a good idea to stay out of the current top 10.
I apologize in advance to all the Johns and Emilys and Jennifers out there. I’m very sorry your parents gave you boring names.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Some parents ought to be shot for the names they give their kids in their quest for cuteness or uniqueness–or in their ignorance. If I were Cevin or Cimberly, I’d march straight to the courthouse on my 18th birthday to put myself out of my misery.
October 29th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Okay, howcome no one has commented on the stroller picture yet? Disturbing. Hilarious. But wrong and disturbing.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
My best friend in high school (note: old enough to know better) changed the spelling of her name to “Amiye” to distinguish herself from the 45,000 girls of the same name (myself included). Again. . .rules! And lest we forget “Bobejo” which, of course, led to my nickname, Bo-bay-ho, because that’s how I though it was pronounced.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Petie! I had totally forgotten about “Bobejo”! The one time I was going to call you that in a column, here, I went with a different name instead. Now I’ll have to try to find a way to use Bobejo again. (Note to others: The girl who really had that name pronounced it “Bobbie Jo,” even though it obviously doesn’t spell that.)
September 9th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I recall one of my high school classes that had 3 different Brittanys (Brittany, Britney, and Brittini) and who insisted on each one being pronounced differently.