Eric D. Snider

Eric D. Snider's Blog

More of commenters saying the darnedest things

Here at EricDSnider.com, we love it when our readers post comments! The fact that some of the comments our readers post are stupid does not diminish our enthusiasm! If nothing else, it provides us with fodder for this occasional feature:

DUMB COMMENTS POSTED ON ERICDSNIDER.COM

“Step Up”:

hi im sherry sieler from caldeon on i ove tyler gag he is sexey her is a kiss for u tyler gage

[Tyler Gage is the fictional main character's name. Comments like this one are sadly typical in their illiteracy. I've actually started deleting some of them when they appear, just because I'm tired of the collective I.Q. of the site dropping every time there's a movie with a cute boy in it.]

* * * * *

“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”:

I HATED IT! IT SUCKED! If People Even READ The Book They Would Agree It Sucked. They Left Out Like 99% Of The Whole Story. I’d Like To See How They Try To Shove Everything They Needed Out Of This Part For The Rest Of The Series Into The Movies They Aren’t Supposed To Be In. Stupid Directors.

[Yeah, that's the problem. The only reason so many people liked the movie version of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is that no one ever read the obscure book it was based on.

By the way, this person's strange system of Capitalizing Every Single Word was mentioned by another poster, causing this one to explain: "I'm Just Used To Typing Like This." But that begs the question. WHY are you used to typing like that?]

* * * * *

“Just My Luck”:

April 27th at 1:55 pm
# jackie says:
Does anyone know where to get the dress that Lindsay wore at the masquerade party? Help

May 11th at 10:31 pm
# JACKIE says:
CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHERE TO GET THE DRESS LINDSAY WORE IN JUST MY LUCK FOR THE MASQUERADE?

[This made me LOL. When no one answered Jackie's unanswerable question, she assumed it was because they just couldn't hear her. So she came back and yelled it.]

* * * * *

“The Last Mimzy”:

I am a indigo children and I really wana now if aINDIGO CHILD CAN DO THINS LIKE THAT BECAUSE LIKE IN THE MOVIE I CLOSE MI EYES AND JUST LET GO MY HAND DO THE REST AND WHEN IM FINISHED I JUST OPEN MY EYES AND I SAW THE DRAW AND ITS JUST SOMETHING WEIRD BUT LIKE IT HAVE SHAPES.O AND Y FEEL SOMTIMES THAT WHEN SOMEONE SAY WHATEVER Y JUST NOW WHAT HES GOING TO SAY AND I REMEMBER THE PLACE LIKE A DREAM.WHEN I WAS MORE LITTLE Y THINK IN THINS And the happened.i have12 years i now i have some errors becouse im from Puerto Rico and we speak spanish

[The Puerto Rican thing explains the flawed English grammar (which is still better than that of many American teens). It does not explain why he think he's a psychic.]

* * * * *

“Becoming Jane”:

nudity in a film about Jane Austin…have the drectors read her work? Are they familiar with her at all, or just riding coat tails and not creative enough to think of anything but pride and prejudice?

This movie is not for people who are Jane Austin fans.

[Also not for Jane Austen fans: spelling her name correctly.]

* * * * *

“El Cantante”:

[Replying to another comment.]I believe you have some good points in your comments, but you blew it when you used the words ” stupid people” more than once in your writing. For your edification, I believe you shouldn’t be so redondent because that makes you sound “stupid.” LOL

[Mr. Kettle, there's a Mr. Pot on the line.]

* * * * *

“War”:

Wow you talk alot of crap for someone who doesn’t care. Your reviews are flawed. This coming from a guy who gave bourne ultimatum a B+. Bourne ultimatum is crap compared to this movie. I mean the plot for this movie wasn’t perfect, but the action was awesome. Why Bourne ultimatum was crap? It was 98% special effects and camera action was annoyingly aggressive to take it serious. Matt damon didn’t have personality or ability to act either!

Your pretty much an idiot to give this movie a D+. The action is better than any action movie this year , from the car chase, motorcycle chases, martial arts and gun shooting scenes, were top notch. This is easily better than Transporter, war is stathams best movie. Jet li was awesome too.

If you think you’re so much of an expert, lets see you become a director of this movie and see if anyone would watch your movie. Direct any movie for that matter. Critics think they’re experts now. But all they are r idiots. Truth hurts doesn’t it?

[Ah -- the sharp sting of truth. How it cuts me to the quick.]

* * * * *

“Bratz”:

ok, first your review is CRAP! how dare you say the film was rubbish, just because your head is too far up ur backside dont go making everyone else dilike it too. and it means your cant see a good film when it comes out. i think your review is horrible. you should not make a movie sound bad just because you dont like it dont you think thats a bit selfish??????????? and i have seen the movie i think it is brillent, exactly like school (seeing as at the moment i am at school and i know exactly what school is like) its a childrens film for crist sake. have you doubted lion king for being able to talk or sleeping beauty for ‘unrealistic magic’ er i think NOT!!!!! and your pathetic comment about not learning everything about the characters straight awat then let me tell you that if you did get all the details straight away then there would be no story. what do u wana do, egt them to make a speech about who they are anmd where they come from. next time if your gona say something then be nice.

love (an extreamally angry) Robyn xxx

[Oh, Robyn xxx. How I envy your youth, your passion, and your inability to recognize a big pile of poo even as it's funneled down your throat.]

* * * * *

“Tae One On,” a column I wrote in 1991 — 16 years ago — about a local martial arts studio:

Hey, Eric your a complete moron!!! I know the master there and he is great teacher. Unintelligent you say? [Uh, no. The word I used was "unintelligible."] Your about as smart as his left foot. Why dont you try a class or two, you wouldn’t be able to keep up even for 30 mins. It takes years to perfect Taekwondo you idiot? Your not going to get it by watching one class. Anyway you and your boyfriend probably have better things to do like shopping at the mall or something. Ive taken Taekwondo for 15 years and still love it! A dumb-ass like you would know nothing about it so stop writing YOU BORE ME !!!!

[So stop writing YOU BORE ME!]

17 Responses to “More of commenters saying the darnedest things”

  1. thejoeinme Says:

    “If you think you’re so much of an expert, lets see you become a director of this movie and see if anyone would watch your movie. Direct any movie for that matter.”

    I’d bet anything that the ‘tard who left that comment doesn’t know who directed War. The people that go see crappy movies like that don’t care who directs them.

  2. Jonathon Says:

    I’ve always wondered about people who capitalize every word. How do they get to be that way? My best guess is that they know that no caps and all caps are both wrong, but they can’t be bothered to figure out which words should be capitalized, so they figure they’ll err on the side of caution and capitalize all of them just to be safe. That’s really got to slow down your typing speed, though.

  3. mommy Says:

    I didn’t realize you made me not like the Bratz movie…thank you.

  4. Christina D Says:

    How can someone be so passionate over the Bratz movie? How? Although, knowing that “Hannah Montana”‘s concerts sell out all over the country, I guess I shouldn’t be wondering about the intelligence of our youth today…. its obviously gone down the toilet. They can be entertained by ANYTHING that the TV throws at them. I fear for these teeny boppers, I really do.

    What is life going to be like in 10 years when they grow up and become adults? It scares me.

  5. thejoeinme Says:

    In response to Christina, and to anyone with kids, I recommend stocking up on all the Disney Treasures collections and their Platinum DVD series, and the Looney Tunes collections from Warners, and start raising your kids on them. Screw the new stuff, go with the classics. :)

  6. Phil Cardenas Says:

    Jane Austin: Steve Austin’s forgotten bionic Gothic cousin…now that girl could kick some serious upper-crust, priggish, British arse. So funny this column.

  7. David Manning Says:

    I’d curious as to why these comments aren’t removed from the site after they’re posted here. That’s why I was initially nervous when the commenting system was first introduced; I was afraid the site might become trashed with unintelligible comments from random Googlers.

    “Although, knowing that ‘Hannah Montana’’s concerts sell out all over the country, I guess I shouldn’t be wondering about the intelligence of our youth today.”

    I was just thinking about the “Hanna Montana” epidemic myself earlier before reading that comment, and I whole-heartedly agreed — and then I remembered that Carrot Top does the same thing. When you think about it, it’s not just the youth we need to be worrying about…

  8. Steve Says:

    I get so tired of the “well let’s see you direct a movie” attitude. I don’t know how to make chocolate, but I know that the no-name chocolate bunnies at easter time don’t taste as good as a nice Lindt truffle. I don’t know how to make furniture, but I can tell if a couch is ugly or poorly made. I don’t know how to make soda, but I know that I like Mt Dew and that I don’t like cola. I don’t know how to build cars, but I know that a 1964 sing-ray is beautiful and a 1974 pinto is hideous.

  9. john doe Says:

    Why fear for the youth because of Hannah Montana? Granted, I know nothing of the girl, but Britney ruled the youth for years. If a generation can survive (and continues to survive) her, then we have nothing to fear. Unless she is worse than Britney.

    I will agree that the live action shows on Nick and Disney are really bad (plot and acting) but people survived the Amanda Bynes show. Can anything be worse than that?

  10. whome Says:

    People in past days were not raised on a diet of pure classics. There has been inane television for as long as there has been television. The great stuff endures, and the stupid stuff is forgotten. People who were raised on Bugs Bunny also watched a bunch of nearly unwatchable cartoons with it. It’s just that Mel Blanc and Chuck Jones were so brilliant that there work is still remembered. Kids today are just as gullible as kids of the past.

  11. Puffy Treat Says:

    Exactly. I’ve had friends tell me straight-faced and honestly that they miss the true classic cartoons of yesteryear, like “Thundercats”.

    Then they come across an extended show clip of YouTube or something. Needless to say, the past two decades have not been kind to the ‘cats.

    They’re dated. Stilted. Ugly. Lame. Unwatchable.

    “B-but…I -loved- it when I was a kid!”

    It’s not that the youth-oriented shows of today are worse than the ones we had as children….it’s not that we had more classics.

    It’s the rosy tinted gloss of fond memory.

  12. Sean Says:

    I don’t know. Sure, the Thundercats aren’t exactly Tolstoy, but I don’t think they were as aggressively inane as Hannah Montana. And I never demanded that my parents pay $100 to a scalper to see them live (not that they would have or could have). Even our rock-bottom most inane shows (I am speaking of He-Man, of course) had a little “now you know” public service announcement at the end. And by the time I was twleve, I already had a good grasp of basic grammar and spelling principles. I’m pretty sure the current crop of kids are toast unless we divest them of television and instant messaging.

  13. Leah Jane Says:

    Sweet flower of American youth (Me included, I suppose) why can’t you all channel your passions for flaming critics who don’t like your so-called infallible favorite movies, and find a way to use it constructively?
    I was thinking about that theory on the “good ol’ days of tv and movies” yesterday. There aren’t really any good ol’ days, just days. It’s just that classics like Tex Avery cartoons and Disney animated classics stand the test of time, both in our memories and in preservation. I can still remember the first time I watched Beauty and the Beast, but I can’t recall much about any disney tv shows I watched.

  14. Super Deadly Ham Attack Says:

    Steve: I agree totally. I’d like to see people who write in asking Eric to direct a movie try to write a coherant movie review that isn’t “this movie ROX it has BIG explosions!!!” – and by thier logic, until they do, what they have to say is worthless, right?

  15. Raul Says:

    My generation lived and died over “New kids on the block” when I was in middle school. Remember the commercial where the girls brag “I’m the biggest fan because I have the dolls, the phone, the sheets, the lamp and the commemorative fruit roll ups.” Bratz is no more idiotic.

  16. Dave Says:

    There is no statute of limitations for worthless comments.

  17. smrtpants Says:

    with Regard to the Topic of the seemingly odd, erratic, typing Style displayed in one of the Comments on a Harry Potter Work – he could just be some Incarnation of Jonathan Swift (gulliver’s Travels) who lived in a Time (1726) when it was common Practice to cap ‘almost every Noun’…

    [ i apologize for this inane Comment and can offer only the lame Excuse that back in Grade 8 i was reprimanded/corrected by my english class Teacher for a Paper on gulliver's Travels that i turned in written in the same Style as the original Work - stupid mr. so&so, couldn't he see that i was already honing my Monkey-see-Monkey-do Approach to the written Word. ]

Subscription Center

Eric D. Snider's "Snide Remarks"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly humor column, "Snide Remarks." For more information, go here.

Subscribe

Eric D. Snider's "In the Dark"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly movie-review e-zine. For more information on it, go here.

Subscribe
 
This site created and maintained by Jeff J. Snider | Diamond Clarity Chart