I’m sorry, Hollywood, but no matter how hard you try to convince me these women are beautiful, I’m just not buying it
It’s perfectly OK to be a movie star without being gorgeous! You don’t have to pretend that everyone who’s famous is also good-looking!
Anne Hathaway
Penelope Cruz
Cameron Diaz
Renee Zellweger
Sarah Jessica Parker
Maggie Gyllenhaal
November 28th, 2007 at 6:01 am
With the exception of Sarah Jessica Parker, these women seem to me to be at least modrately pretty. I have never understood why almost everyone tries to tell me how gorgeous she is. When I respond that I really do not think she is pretty, the response back is almost always “maybe not, but she is a very good actress.” As Eric says, you can be very good at what you do, even acting in movies, without being beautiful.
It would be nice if large companies, like the Hollywood studios, would treat us as if we had some brains and discernment. But then the conversations I have had about Ms. Parker indicate that far too many do not.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:20 am
I’m disappointed that film.com wouldn’t let you use “horse-faced” to describe Sarah Jessica Parker. If I remember correctly, it was changed to “haggard-looking.” The truth is that she is not haggard-looking, and she is horse-faced. And getting off-topic a little, the characters in “Sex and the City” are slutty, not “libidinous”. What are we trying to say here? “They’re not sluts, they just like to have sex all the time without any real commitment.”
Anyway, here is my personal opinion of the above ladies:
Sarah Jessica Parker: Mildly unattractive
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Renee Zellweger, and Penelope Cruz: not unattractive, but not attractive either.
Cameron Diaz and Anne Hathaway: more fun to look at than anyone else on this list
Other famous women off of the top of my head who I do not think are beautiful: Lindsay Lohan, Kirsten Dunst
November 28th, 2007 at 7:28 am
I have said the same thing about many on this list.. with the exception of Hathaway and Cruz perhaps. To put it in Tex’n speak: “I thunk they awful perty”. They’re subject to the evil will of bad photos just like the rest of us, but in Hathaway/Cruz’s case, their good photos are enough to convince me otherwise :p. Nicole Kidman is another one I would add to this category. She can be very pretty, but a bad photo of her can be also be very bad.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:46 am
You are wrong about Penelope Cruz.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:48 am
I always thought Zellweger was beautiful in Jerry Maguire. I liked Diaz in the Mask, too, but she looked kind of plastic.
Another not on this list that I tend not to be crazy about is Angelina Jolie. She’s all right, I just don’t see the big deal. But, the funny thing is, you could never convince a woman of this. All women think she is the most beautiful person on the planet. If Angelina was a lesbian, she would be getting laid 3-4 times a day (not that she couldn’t as a single straight woman either, but I digress).
Amen about Maggie Gyllenhaal. Sorry, Maggie.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:58 am
“And getting off-topic a little, the characters in “Sex and the City†are slutty, not “libidinousâ€. What are we trying to say here? “They’re not sluts, they just like to have sex all the time without any real commitment.—
I think that’s exactly what we are trying to say. Slutty carries moral approbation which libidinous does not. It is also sexist, since it implies that women who are libidinous are immoral, while there is no commonly used male equivalent.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:13 am
No kidding! It amazes me that so many seem to think Angelina Jolie is incredibly beautiful. I think she sits at the lower end of the “okay-looking” category, and her bloated lips are grotesque. Now, I’ll grant that as a gay man my perspective may be different than that of straight men who drool over this woman, but I’m still able to appreciate physical beauty. When I think of truly beautiful female celebrities, I think of Catherine Zeta Jones, for example. Angelina is an eyesore in comparison.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:17 am
This is one of my pet peeves, too. SJP is right up there at the top of my list, followed by Helen Hunt and Rene Zellweger. I have to admit, I think Anne Hathaway is adorable and that Maggie Gyllenhaal has her cute moments, too. It’s all subjective. But really, does ANYONE in the WORLD think Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive? Anyone?
November 28th, 2007 at 8:21 am
I would disagree about Hathaway and Diaz, although the above photos do them no justice. Uma Thurman and Jeri Ryan are two actresses often described as hot which I never thought were all that attractive.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Agreed about Angelina Jolie (and I’m a woman!). She certainly seems to have good stylists, make up artists, etc. for publicity shots, but in more “normal” shots, like when she does work for the U.N., she really seems to lose a lot of sparkle.
Amen on Cameron Diaz.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:30 am
I have been saying how unattractive Penelope Cruz is since the very first time I saw her. She has the oddest-looking nose possible for her little face, plus her ears are too big for her face and stick out. I don’t see why ANYone thinks she is hot at all. I also have been mightily unimpressed with her as an actor.
Anne Hathaway has a butter face and really needs to apply some tweezer-love to those eyebrows. The picture above shows that she has done a little in that department, but could stand to thin them out a little more.
Cameron Diaz was really cute when she first arrived on the national radar, but has gone downhill, unfortunately for her. Same story for Renee Zellweger.
Maggie Gyllenhaal could be cute… if she didn’t look exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal.
Sarah Jessica Parker is in fact half horse, half gremlin, and all fugly.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Definitely agree about Sarah Jessica Parker. Yikes.
I do think Anne Hathaway is kind of good-looking though. At least she stands out from other Disney proteges by not fitting into the Britney/Lindsay/Hilary vapid blonde look. Her face actually has some character to it, like she might be intelligent in real life. (I have no idea whether or not she actually is.)
Skizat, I’ve had the opposite experience with Angelina Jolie- all my female friends think she’s scary and my male friends think she’s hot. I think it has to do with how you feel about oversized lips.
Also overrated: Julia Roberts. “America’s Sweetheart”, my butt.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Agreed about the list. I think Hathaway, Cruz, and Diaz are the most attractive of the list, but definitely not “gorgeous”. There’s something off about all of them that I can’t put my finger on. Word on Julia Roberts, Uma Thurman, and Jeri Ryan. All of the women listed are attractive (except for Parker), none are amazingly OMG beautiful or even close. I have no opinion on Angelina Jolie except she looks sexy and sultry, but doesn’t do anything for me.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Hell! They all look better than me, which is why I’m not in the movies. Except maybe Sarah Jessica Parker.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:56 am
I agree with all these choices, although I kind of think Maggie is pretty in a way. Angelina Jolie definitely should have been added, with those high cheekbones and huge lips, I’ve never found her pretty. My husband agrees with that.
Actually, I find very few of Hollywood’s women actually beautiful. Except Liv Tyler, whom I think is gorgeous and also Catherine Zeta-Jones is quite pretty.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Where’s Julia Roberts and Liv Tyler? uuugh….
November 28th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Wow. Just… wow.
To be honest, I had to figure out if you were actually saying that these people are unattractive.
Interesting.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:52 am
I’ve always thought Diaz and Parker were hideous trolls. Jolie isn’t the greatest thing out there, either, but she’s better than them I suppose.
One day I was talking to a friend about Uma and I told her how ugly I thought she was and what business did these people have in saying otherwise? She exploded with this rant about how poor Uma doesn’t think she’s pretty at all and she has low self-esteem because of it and how dare I then suggest that she’s ugly???//?!!1! I said, “Well, I have to agree with her. She ain’t pretty.”
Just because someone thinks they’re ugly it means we must profess the opposite, even when it’s blatantly true? No.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:55 am
And as an aside, why do my posts always have to await moderation? Am I infamous for posting remarks that need such a watchful eye?
November 28th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Turkey - Actually Uma isn’t ugly, but YOU might think she is. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, as you can tell by the varying comments above. I agree that you probably shouldn’t lie and tell someone they’re pretty when you don’t think they are, but it’s also really, really impolite to tell someone that they’re ugly. And especially if you are their father or someone close to them.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:16 am
As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as previous comments demonstrate that reasonable minds can differ on this topic (mine differs a little), I wonder if Eric will shed some light on his opinion of beauty by revealing a few stars who he thinks ARE gorgeous. We don’t have to be negative all the time, after all.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Actually, I have to agree that Uma is not a pretty sight…. And her name doesn’t help much. Uma? Ooooooma. Sounds like something you’d chant if you were a monk…
November 28th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I like the look of Maggie. The others, no.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
How does Lindsay Lohan not make the list?! I once saw part of that music video where the paparazzi is stalking her, and the whole time I was wondering why anyone in their right mind would follow her around with a camera.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
I like Anne Hathaway and Penelope Cruz, and I’ll add that Peter Griffin hit the nail on the head when he noted that Sarah Jessica Parker’s face looks like a foot.
In terms of hotness, none of them touch Bea Arthur.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Why are we only talking about overrated celebrity women? Come on, there’s a whole other gender of famous people out there!
Overrated, not-so-hot celebrity guys…
Tom Cruise
George Clooney
Orlando Bloom
Nick Lachey
“If Angelina was a lesbian, she would be getting laid 3-4 times a day”
Angelina Jolie is bisexual.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Dude - Anne Hathaway? But…she’s so pretty!
November 28th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I’ve heard Sara Jessica Parker described as the hottest ugly chick in Hollywood.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Maggie Gyllenhaal and Cameron Diaz are two of the ugliest and overrated actresses out there. Uma Thurman is also one of the ugliest women in Hollywood. The only two actresses I think are gorgeous and talented are Catherine Zeta-Jones and Natalie Portman.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Ix-nay on all of them, except Anne Hathaway who looks pretty good. She’s no Jessica Biel, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Eva Longoria, Sophie Marceau, or Sienna Miller, but…pretty good, nonetheless.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Yuck, Pumpkin! Natalie Portman? She acts about as well as a wooden stick (anybody else laugh their way through the parts she acted in in Star Wars?), her neck is horribly long and she has a really boyish figure. She looks like she should have spirit, but I find her delivery of her lines duller than dull.
She reminds me of Kiera Knightley… yet another not-so-pretty actress who resembles a giraffe with puffy, shapeless lips and an odd face. At least Kiera can act somewhat. Gross gross gross.
If Amy Winehouse were an actress, I’d pick her as the ugliest actress alive, hands down! But she’s a singer. And so she doesn’t count.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Oh! And don’t forget Sandra Oh!
November 28th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
PLW: “Slutty carries moral approbation which libidinous does not. It is also sexist, since it implies that women who are libidinous are immoral, while there is no commonly used male equivalent.”
Who said you can’t call guys sluts? Some of them fit the label perfectly.
November 28th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
The first two are babes. The rest are above average. Parker, though, is far below average.
November 28th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Wait a second here. Is everyone saying these ladies are unattractive compared with other celebrities, or compared with the general populace? Because if it’s the latter, I think you all need to go out in public a little more often.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Christina: Keep in mind that Natalie Portman was acting with a George Lucas script, and we all know how horrible he is at writing dialogue.
Personally, I think Naomi Watts is probably overall the most “beautiful” (as far as Hollywood goes) celebrity, followed closely by Hayden Panettiere and Scarlett Johansson. Naomi Watts is just gorgeous and I don’t think she’s ever not been gorgeous. I like Hayden Panettiere so much because she looks like a real person. She looks like someone I’d see walking down the street in my hometown (3,000 miles in the opposite direction from Hollywood). I like Johansson because she’s got a realistic figure: She’s not super thin (she’s said that cheese is her vice) or unnatural or anything.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Oh, and if anyone think Catherine Zeta-Jones is beautiful, I recommend checking out her Wikipedia page. It’s the most god-awful picture you could ever see of someone that pretty. She’s all pale and her hair is kind of ratty looking, she looks like she needs a bath.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Zeta-Jones
November 28th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Seriously? From a girl’s standpoint, I think they are all absolutely gorgeous, especially Cruz, Hathaway, and Diaz. Of course, the movie camera loves them and they are always being flattered in the pages of the magazines they appear in, so maybe my perspective is skewed. It is interesting to hear what a guy thinks of these women though.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
I think Anne Hathaway is gorgeous. She has a consistently great red carpet look, and she has great posture, which sounds wierd, but there are some stars out there who really slouch. Kirsten Dunst, I’m looking at you.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Why hasn’t anyone here mentioned Hilary Swank? Talk about horse-faced…
November 28th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Anne Hathaway: sometimes she is what I think is pretty, but most of the time her eyes are too damn big and they irk me to no end. Honestly, I can’t stand the woman.
Sarah Jessica Parker: I also think she’s a mess, but last week when I was watching Project Runway, I was blown away by how fresh and pretty she looked. She looked fantastic! That’s the first time I’ve ever thought that about her. I don’t let that ruin my complete enjoyment of Sex and the City.
Maggie Gyllenhall: there are times when I think she’s adorable, and there are times when I think she looks way too much like Kirsten Dunst, which grosses me out because Jake dated Kirsten. EW!
My opinion of the others Eric mentioned is so much toward the hate side of things that I can’t even to mention them again.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:00 am
I agree with ClobberGirl that there are plenty overrated male celebrities out there, too. I’d like to add to that list Patrick Dempsey. He always looks to me like he’s on the verge of tears, even when he’s smiling, and I just don’t get the appeal he has to so many people.
—And, Steve, Sarah Jessica Parker did already once get described as “horse-faced.” Not here, but in Ed Wood. Actually, it was her character who was described as that but it’s the same face either way. Maybe film.com just wanted to avoid looking like it was copying. Or maybe not.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:32 am
card, I was speaking of cases like this. Unless Uma is a fan of EDS, the chances of her knowing that I think her face could use an overhaul is pretty slim–even moreso when those thoughts were being expressed to my friend in person. The bit about my friend’s reaction to my opinion is what I found most absurd. She had apparently decided that Uma is attractive based solely on the fact that Uma does NOT think she’s attractive. The friend wanted me to admit Uma was pretty simply because she felt sorry for her and her low opinion of herself. This is the stupidest reason I’ve heard for doing such a thing. I have tact enough to not tell Uma she’s fugly to her face, but I’m not going to change my opinion of her looks based on my pity for her.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:48 am
If we can’t call SJP horse faced, is the nickname “Ol’ Leatherface” inappropriate also? And how is “haggard looking” any better than horse faced? I’m afraid you’re right Eric, most of those women are plain at best. Penny Cruz is pretty in my book though. I think the idea generally is if they show enough cleavage, then nobody will look at their faces.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:55 am
but most of the time her eyes are too damn big and they irk me to no end
I don’t know how you can be irked by the size of someone’s eyes.
her neck is horribly long
That takes the cake for most useless observation. Someone is not pretty because she has a long neck? That, and your dissin’ one of my favorite gals. For her acting ability, see either “Closer” or “Garden State”. You’ll be surprised she’s the same person who was in the Star Wars prequels.
her ears are too big for her face
I’m also not understanding how somebody’s ears can somehow make them unattractive. That said, I see Ms. Cruz as more pretty than hot. And, like Eric in some of his reviews, I can’t understand her when she’s talking. Someone does become less sexy when they are incomprehensible.
November 29th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I wonder if Eric’s going to do a follow up on this, since it got so many comments.
That’d be awesome!
November 29th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I wouldn’t call any of them drop-dead gorgeous, but I will admit that I find them all attractive. So sue me.
BTW, Eric, how much more do you weigh now than you did in college?
November 29th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Hm. Well, Anne: Never really liked her, acting or face, after the initial Princess Diaries. I was still purty young when that came out, but I remember that after I saw her make-over in the movie the first time, my breath was taken away when she turned to the mirror. Since then? *blblblblblbble
No opinion on Cruz.
Diaz’s eyes creep me out. Maybe that’s just a bad picture of her, but even so I never thought she was anything special. In that picture of course, she looks like she is thinking about killing and eating the mean people with the cameras any second, and she is relishing that idea.
Renee Zellweger–Chicago, and then she did a Hathaway dive too. Even in Chicago, I just thought she was kind of a cute little springy thing, but yuck. Just, not ok.
SJP I can only say that she at least has a symmetrical face, and I don’t have an issue with her.
Maggie: oh I’m sick of this. All I wanted to do was get my thoughts out on Renee Zellweger, but I thought I’d give everyone else a fair shot at the treatment.
Personally, I’m being completely superficial and comparing these ladies to the impossible celebrity pretty bitties there are all over the place.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Any list that includes Anne Hathaway also has to include Emmy Rossum. I think they might actually be the same person.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I was sure this was a joke at first too. I can’t believe there’s a man out there who doesn’t love Cameron Diaz! And more than one, apparently!
I completely disagree with the assessment of Penelope Cruz - I first saw her in All the Pretty Horses (great movie) and thought she was just breathtaking. And my husband loves loves LOVES Uma Thurman. Eye of the beholder, I guess.
Christina D, Uma *could* be chanted by monks. Her dad was an ordained Buddhist monk and the name has Sanskrit origins. Even better, her middle name is Karuna.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
ChelseaW:
The part that you missed is that Penelope Cruz WAS one the pretty horses in that movie.
November 29th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
I think Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz are pretty.
November 29th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
If there is to be an update, Tori Spelling, Sandra Bernhard, and Rossy de Palma (if you’ll branch into latino actresses) absolutely *must* be added to the list.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
I think Penelope Cruz is pretty, though she’s not as beautiful as Maribel Verdu (Mercedes from Pan’s Labyrinth) I think Hollywood needs to recognize the beauty of older women. I think Gong Li and Maribel Verdu are beautiful, yet given so few film roles because there aren’t many out there for older ladies to play with dignity and grace. I’m only 18, but I would love to see actresses like Diane Keaton and Catherine O’Hara be used as more than mothers, like in Because I Said So, or whatever that rubbish was called.
And in my opinion, the best looking actress doesn’t come from Hollywood. I think Audrey Tautou (from Amelie) is beautiful, because she captures a lot of different types of beauty, like cute, sweet, mysterious, and exotic.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:01 am
It’s true that you can’t judge anyone’s acting ability by a George Lucas script. But Natalie Portman was awesome in Closer, and though her accent was off in V For Vendetta, her general acting was great.
Diane Keaton has always been a gorgon, and Gong Li is so gorgeous!
November 30th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Anne Hathaway - Not gorgeous but definitely not ugly. Attractive.
Penelope Cruz - Normal looking. Something kind of weird going on with her mouth.
Renee Zellweger - Boobies keep drawing my eyes away from her face, so I don’t know.
Sarah Jessica Parker - The thing is she dresses and acts like she truly believes she’s not ugly. Ugly and delusional.
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Cute as a button. That outfit is hideous though.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Women I do find stunning:
Jessica Alba
Jessica Biel
Jessica Simpson
Must be the name
Oh and most beautiful of all time:
Audrey Hepburn
November 30th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Something I’ve always found interesting about Hollywood: you can have an ugly face, no acting ability, and have the intelligence of a piece of wood, but as long as you have no body fat and can sit still while hair and makeup people slather you and make you look nothing at all like yourself you can be a famous Hollywood starlet. The minute a woman is beyond a size 2, it does not matter the talent or other beauty she has, she is ugly and not suitable for movies (there are some notable exceptions, but the rule generally applies). Hollywood does not seem to have the same standards for men.
November 30th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I think Anne Hathaway is gorgeous. The rest I agree on, although I do think Sarah Jessica Parker always dresses nicely.
I’d like to add Jennifer Anniston to that list; I believe with the magic of expensive Hollywood stylists, personal trainers and chefs, then she’d resemble a rather ordinairy, plan man.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I totally agree with you Eric! Good list……I would have also added Angelina Jolie, as I agree with a lot of people who already commented on that. Jennifer Aniston is 100 times prettier than her.
November 30th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
The worst offender is the lady who won the last season of ANTM - her name is Jaslene, look her up if you want to see how messed up reality TV is.
December 1st, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Audrey Hepburn is pretty. I think Juliette Binoche is, too, but maybe it’s just that fabulous accent. Isabella Rosellini, also beautiful, maybe because Ingrid Bergman is her mother.
Angelina Jolie is scary. And I think Charlize Theron is also scary. Hollywood acts like she really has to slum it up to play the ugly, scary roles (i.e. Monster). I think her slummy look might be closer to the real thing.
I think Julie Roberts is ok. But I’m pretty sure if I saw her in person, I would be afraid that she might bite me. That is one big mouth.
Oh, and SJP is totally horse-faced.
December 2nd, 2007 at 6:49 pm
You know who’s not ugly? The girl who plays Cerie (sp?) on 30 Rock (inappropriate construction worker-esque whistle). Not sure what her name is, and I don’t feel like checking because no one would know who she is anyway.
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:59 am
Anne Hathaway
i think shes really pretty because she doesnt fit into the stereotypical actress.
Penelope Cruz
Okay.
CAmeron Diaz
Pretty on a good day.
Renee Zellweger
I like her as an actress but shes kinda scary looking.
Sarah Jessica Parker
pretty when she was younger but she looks like a horse now.
poor dear.
wait, i mean horse.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
gorgeous
December 4th, 2007 at 1:11 am
What the heck, where did this come from? Why do we feel the need to point out who isn’t very attractive in a public forum?
December 6th, 2007 at 12:26 am
One person I just have to add to the fugly list is Fergie. *shudders*
I know she’s best know as a singer, (if you can call it singing) but she’s in several movies as well.
March 14th, 2008 at 4:28 am
Nice blog from a blind misogynist, I wonder what the blogger looks like?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I don’t think they are unattractive but they are overrated especially that ferret Penelope Cruz, I think Anne has the biggest most beautiful eyes though.
April 10th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Anne Hathaway looks like a normal girl, she’s cute. Probably down to earth & sweet
Penelope Cruz is weird looking and her only talents are getting naked in movies.. and dating famous actors.. and barely being able to speak English.
Cameron Diaz - Pretty, but not aging well. Likable person, though.
Maggie Gyllenhal - No opinion really. Kind of a D list celebrity
Renee Zellweger - Good actress, looks great sometimes..but inconsistent
Sarah J Parker - She’s never been attractive really.. but I would say she is average.
Jennifer Connelly may be older than most of these women.. but I consider her to be one of the most beautiful women alive today. Her and Liv Tyler are classic beauties.