The latest in incoherence
Someone has posted a comment on my review of “The Golden Compass” at Film.com that is so incoherent, you’d think it had been written by Tim Nasson. Here’s what “WALLYONE” had to say:
Golden Compass is rather well put together, like one might expect a refreshing new candy. Be mindful the picture is aimed at the 13-15 year age group (which might explain why Mr Snider’s review has a bi-polaric bearish overview which concludes with best paragraph (of which I heartily and bi-polaric concur)) The picture would appear to be enjoyed by a mature audience through that 13-15 wonderment/confirming age, where at least you could argue/disagree with authority (in at least on your alternate growth world stage). Overviews should also take note the repeated efforts to sell the (untitled (at least to this reviewer) follow-on well wrapped candy for which the production costs will much less because at least half of the story is already in the can. The Dakota Richards heroine character (Lyra) has been well set, while the Kidman (Mrs. Coulter) is likely to suprise in development(s) based on the slapping of her soul and unsaid/unheard lines to unbuilt bridges. One of the most confirming scenes was Lyra’s use of Mrs. Coulter’s fly to strike back at the adult with their own toy (13-15 behavior). thankyou
Translation? Anyone?
December 11th, 2007 at 5:10 am
My guess is that the author is 13, has read the books, thinks he or she has some really deep thoughts to share, and thinks that as long as something is bizarre and/or confusing it is automatically deep. So obviously it is a reincarnated 13i-year-old Stanley Kubrick.
December 11th, 2007 at 5:42 am
I think WALLYONE has confused The Golden Compass with Willy Wonka.
I was surprised myself by a weirdly positive review of The Golden Compass in the Church Times, an Anglican newspaper. (Review here: http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=48271 )
Perhaps the reviewer’s tongue is firmly in his cheek when he writes, “Given the removal of God-talk from the screenplay, I am tempted to see the Magisterium as representing truculent atheists who are intolerant of any expressions of religious belief and blind to a vision of heaven, and see human beings as consisting of nothing but an assortment of chemicals you can buy at the local pharmacy. ”
I’ll have to check to see if they have a review of Equus — or “a nice movie about a boy and his horse” as some might see it. (“If you liked ‘Equus,’ which not try ‘My Friend Flicka.’”)
December 11th, 2007 at 7:09 am
Yeah, this reads like some eighth grade essays I’ve read. The ones that use a thesaures indisciminately
December 11th, 2007 at 7:25 am
“based on the slapping of her soul.” That’s amazing. I must find ways to use that phrase in my daily conversation.
December 11th, 2007 at 7:48 am
I’m going to guess that English is not this person’s native language, and he’s written something that made sense in his own language then ran it through something like babelfish to come up with the English and then posted that.
But, if that were true, how did he read Eric’s review in English in the first place?
Drugs, must be drugs.
December 11th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Mmmm. Bi-polaric wonderment, lines to unbuilt bridges. Yeah, I feel you, man.
December 11th, 2007 at 9:49 am
I have no idea what the comment means, but the WTF logo is several different kinds of awesome.
December 11th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I thought the same thing as KMD, but it’s too clever sounding to be from babelfish. Like “bipolaristic bearish” is meant to be a pun and I can’t imagine a program translating something that subtle. It’s got to be someone who thinks they are smart when they aren’t, or it could be English is their second language but they are a fairly advanced student of English. Thus they are incoherent because they don’t understand the simple nuances of the language, but they understand how to sound clever and witty. I know I’ve met people like this who never mastered the basics of the language but understand esoteric concepts of the language. It makes for very amusing conversations.
Also, is that panda supposed to be the bipolar bear?
December 11th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I heartily and bipolaric concur with these thoughts
December 11th, 2007 at 9:53 am
It sounds kind of like Ms. South Carolina’s speech. Maybe it’s her?
December 11th, 2007 at 11:49 am
This is from a non-native English speaker. Possibly from a speaker of a SE Asian or Germanic/east European language. Either that or a bipolar bear.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I was more impressed with the juxtaposition of the terms “mature” and “13-15 years old”. I think we’ve at least managed to pin down the author’s age.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
An addendum: I just read the other two posts. Why does the third post say “Ditto (for the first comment only)?” I’m pretty sure a native English speaker doesn’t have the faintest clue what that comment is saying, and would never want to be associated with it even if they really liked the movie.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Sounds like a psychology textbook. Or at least, that’s how my old college psych book sounded to me.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
These sound like my thoughts during REM sleep after a long, long, late night of cramming for finals. You know, in that “Schizophrenic Humanities” degree I am working on.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Reads like email spam that slips through the filter.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I do love that WTF WWF logo. It’d make a great t-shirt.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
As someone who actually has been diagnosed as bipolar, I think his use of the word “bipolar” is hilarious. IT ALSO MAKES ME ANGRY! And sad. So very, very sad.
English is definitely not his native language, but I’m leaning towards one of them Dutchy-Norwegiany languages as his first. Or possibly Keyword-spamish. Did he include a URL that would clue us in?
December 11th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
To me it sounds like something fueled by cocaine. Or sleep deprivation. Or some combination of the two.
December 11th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
That speech/comment reminds me of this 15 year old Dutch kid I know. He talks just like that! Eric, you could take that rambling, and turn it into an lolcat on icanhascheezburger. It’d be a big hit. Especially if it was a polar bear!
December 11th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Um…milk.
December 11th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
I think it is a 13-15 year old who thinks he/she is extremely clever, but really isn’t. You can’t fake intelligence.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:28 am
Bipolaric bearish… hahahahah! I wish I had two polar bears!
December 15th, 2007 at 3:15 am
breeding not allowed.