Great moments in movie promotions: ‘The Kite Runner’
Paramount Vantage sent out a press release today hyping a new type of banner ad that will allow people to buy their movie tickets right there in the banner, without having to leave whatever website they’re on. It is kind of cool, and it is kind of convenient. But the movie they’re launching it with is “The Kite Runner,” and here’s what they say about it:
“… transactional banners to promote and sell tickets for their up coming blockbuster movie The Kite Runner…”
We are going to overlook the miscasting of “upcoming” as two words and instead obsess over the word “blockbuster.” There are two amusing reasons why this is the wrong word.
- Most elementally, how can a film be a “blockbuster” (defined as “major box office hit”) when it hasn’t opened yet? With a cumulative domestic gross of $0, it’s actually more of a flop.
- Even after “The Kite Runner” is released, it stands absolutely no chance of being a “blockbuster.” It is a quiet film, mostly in Dari (a variant of Persian spoken in Afghanistan), and it’s about little boys who fly kites until one of them gets raped. I promise you, there is not a single person at Paramount Vantage delusional enough to think it will be a huge financial hit. It’s a prestige picture, the kind that’s released in the hopes of getting awards and maybe making $50 million if it’s lucky. It might be a “sleeper,” it might be a “sensation,” it might be a “critical darling.” (Actually, no, it won’t be that.) But it will not be a “blockbuster.” Sorry!
December 13th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
I’m looking forward to it actually. But the blockbuster thing is extremely premature, and I have a strong feeling it will not be a box office hit. You never know though.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
off topic, but-
Critics seem pretty divided about it, I was hoping to get a review I trusted before the office buddies all go see it tomarrow…
No review of I Am Legend yet?
December 13th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
-Cool people spell ‘tomarrow’ with an ‘a’
December 13th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Do cool people also not check the movie page before posting comments?
December 13th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
ummm Angry Mikey, what “movie page” do u refer to? Its still not listed in the reviews….
December 13th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Maybe I can help you out here. First of all, technically, it is generally futile to expect a review before a movie opens — and it opens tomorrow, so if there happened to be one posted today, it would be a fluke, and would be cause for thanksgiving and rejoicing.
And as luck would have it, I did post it this evening! Sometimes I get sneaky like that and post them Thursday night. At the top of this page — indeed, at the top of every page on this website — there is a tab that says “Movie Reviews.” Clicking it will lead you to the aforementioned “movie page,” where I believe you will find what you’re looking for.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Sorry Eric, I thought you usually reviewed ‘em the night before, and I had checked earlier today and not seen it, so when I checked the main page and it wasn’t on the list I didn’t bother checkin the other tab. Thanks for the clarification.