It’s galling to even consider such rudeness, but Hollywood insists upon releasing new films even when I’m busy with the Sundance Film Festival. At least they had the courtesy to hide two of them from us.
“Rambo” and “Meet the Spartans” are probably destined for the greatest box office success of today’s new releases, and they are both HOLLYWOOD’S SHAMEFUL SECRETS©®™ (movies not screened for critics, almost always because they’re bad). Lionsgate was evidently shamed into holding last-minute screenings of “Rambo” in some markets, but not all, and not in a timely fashion.
Also opening is “How She Move,” a rather good urban dance movie that actually premiered at Sundance last year. That’s not a guarantee of quality, of course, but it is usually a sign that there’s something out-of-the-norm about it. It’s worth seeing, particularly for the dance sequences.
Another film that debuted at Sundance last year that’s now in theaters is “Teeth,” a comedy/horror about a teenage girl who has fangs in her lady parts. (You know … THOSE parts.) It’s definitely one of the best vagina dentata movies I’ve ever seen.
I see that I’m in the minority regarding Woody Allen’s new dramatic thriller “Cassandra’s Dream,” but I like it. It will remind you of yesteryear, when you liked Colin Farrell.
Finally, “Untraceable” opens today and was duly screened. But the screening was Tuesday, when I was knee-deep in Sundance coverage. I’ll try to hit it (and “Rambo” and possibly even “Meet the Spartans,” but don’t hold your breath) when I get back to Portland.
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