Eric D. Snider

Eric D. Snider's Blog

A dumb girl thinks I’m Eric Mabius

A girl named Janet sent me this e-mail through my website’s e-mail page:

hi how are you doing? no im no writing to ask for any other celeberties my name is janet when i saw you on resident evil i thought it was scary at first but then i watched it over and over because u were in it and i like your blue eyes. and when i found out u came out on ugly betty i started watching it i have never watched it before not even when it first came out. but now im starting to wait for thursdays just to see u in it.if i ever get to make a movie ill get you as one of the characters. i really hope i can meet you one day. itll be cool if itll be on my graduation from high school this year, i would probably fall of the stage if u get a chance u can go onto my space [link provided] and see the pictures i have of u on there. well first ill have to add u as a friend i have it on private. well i really hope u do write soon i would love to hear from u keep in touch keep up the good work from janet

The funny part was that while Janet had read the warning indicating that she should not write to me for celebrities’ contact info, she failed to notice that the name “Eric D. Snider” was plastered all over the site. Whoever she thought she was writing to, it obviously was not Eric D. Snider. I have never appeared in a “Resident Evil” movie. I didn’t even want to appear in the audience of “Resident Evil.”

So I responded:

You need to pay a little more attention… I’m not in “Resident Evil.” I’m a movie critic. I wrote a review of “Resident Evil,” and you wrote to me from my website.

This was a little curt of me, true, but come on. This girl is about to graduate from high school. She needs to be smarter. I demand it!

She wrote back:

oh well sorry i didnt see your last name until after i send u the email i thought u were eric mabius. so i made a mistake there so sorryyyyyyyyyy . but oh well im not the only one who doesnt pay attension , did you meet any of the actors from resident evil or keep in contact with any of them/? im really into eric mabius i would really love it if he can come for my graduation this year. it would be like so cool. and it would mean alot also. so u do keep in touch with him i would appericaite it if u can tell him to contact me in my email . hope to hear from u soon and sorry for the mistake and i didnt read the other part i only saw when it said eric

Remember when she saw the part that said I didn’t know how to contact any celebrities? Yeah, I guess she forgot about that. I responded:

I guess you don’t know what a movie critic is. I watch a movie, then I write my opinion of it. That’s the only connection I have with the movie: I watch it. Same as you. I don’t know Eric Mabius, or any other famous person.

Janet took issue with my assertion that she doesn’t know what a movie critic is, and responded thus:

i do know what that is i thought u did know them

I have to say, if you think movie critics know all the people who act in the movies they review, then no, you don’t know what a movie critic is.

Janet’s MySpace page indicates she lives in Moreno Valley, Calif., adjacent to my own hometown of Lake Elsinore. That actually explains a lot, as Moreno Valley has been pumping out illiterate high school graduates for years.

22 Responses to “A dumb girl thinks I’m Eric Mabius”

  1. Randy Tayler Says:

    I cannot accept that she’s about to graduate from high school.

    It makes me want to teach high school English. With barbed wire. “Will you punctuate and capitalize NOW?!”

  2. penguinosharky Says:

    But Eric, you should know that with such a rare first name, these kind of mistakes are just bound to happen! It is only natural that teenaged girls write to you when they intend to get hold of either Bana (didn’t that happen once?) or Mabius.

    Seriously though, if these girls (or possibly boys also, let’s not discriminate) are able to use the computer and access internet, one might assume they are therefore capable of reading more than one word and even understanding it. And yet they fail so magnificently. Oh well, more fun for us, I guess.

  3. OMAllen Says:

    it ok 2 not uze propper spelinj grammer or puncutatation online

  4. Steve S Says:

    The thing that strikes me about the exchange is how TOUCHY little Miss Janet seems to be about any hint that she might have gotten something wrong. There are way too many people around these days who act just like Janet–who seem to think that the only thing worse than actually making a mistake (which really, in their view ISN’T a big deal) is for someone to have “the nerve” to point it out. And the parents of children like Janet are often EVEN WORSE in this regard!

  5. Thoughtful Observer Says:

    Wait. You’re not Eric Mabius? You mean I’ve been reading this site called for over 2 years thinking that Eric was Eric Mabius and I was wrong? You mean that Eric Mabius of the dreamy blue eyes doesn’t spend his time reviewing movies? I’m just shocked and dismayed. You, Eric Snider, are a horrible person to go and lie to us all like that!

  6. Laylabean Says:

    I think you should show up at her graduation and insist you’re Eric Mabius and everyone looks different on TV. C’mon, she’s wishing sooooooo bad!

  7. Brian Says:

    I like Laylabean’s suggestion.

  8. Karen Says:

    Hear hear!

  9. eneyone Says:

    That would be so cruel Laylabean. Imagine the poor dumb girl’s disappointment when she finds out that Eric Mabius actually looks like Eric Snider!

  10. whea-wix Says:

    Did you purposely arrange to have the banner ad at the top be for Resident Evil. Cuz that rocks.

  11. Huzzak Says:

    In her defense you two do look exactly alike. I think it is the eyes.

  12. Holly Says:

    There are teenage girls named Janet?

  13. Jason L. Wright Says:

    If I would have stayed in California I would have gone to Rancho Verde High School in Moreno Valley. I guess it’s a good thing that I moved before I got to that point.

  14. Leah Jane Says:

    That gave me a good chuckle, since my mother is named Janet and I’ve never met anyone under the age of 40 with that name. And being someone who just graduated high school a year ago, I feel embarrassed to be associated with that group….

  15. Will Betts Says:

    I’m from Moreno Valley, and I wish I could disagree with what Eric said, but I know all too well that its true. Still, this entry made me smile as a reminder of home.

  16. Greg Says:

    I run a website that catalogs metal bands, the cds they released, and who plays on them, etc. There’s a couple dozen people who help out, and only about 1/5th of the bands listed were added by me (many of which were by request and I don’t know much about them besides what I found online). Since I am the first person in the contact me list (because I started the site), I frequently get emails asking me to get in contact with band members from some band that I’ve never even heard of. The other day I got one asking if I was related to the sender because he too had the same last name of some guy in some band I’ve never heard of. So…. people in general are complete morons. I generally just ignore the emails, but I’ve often considered taking Eric’s approach of pointing out the idiocy to these people.

  17. Kourtney Says:

    Oh I see! You’re the Eric Mabius in Ugly Betty, not the Eric Mabius in Resident Evil. In that case, please tell Rebecca Romijn that she makes a very pretty man but that she never should have broken up with Uncle Jesse. Wait, do you know Uncle Jesse too?!?

  18. Momma Snider Says:

    You should totally go to her graduation, Eric.

  19. memikeyounot Says:

    My daughter teaches 8th grade English in Utah and she’s told me some of the things that her students write in the work they do. I guess by the time they get to high school, it’s not any better. I truly feel sorry for this girl. Is there any way we can blame it on Bush?

  20. Ampersand Says:

    One thing that strikes me when I read emails like this is how arrogant some of these kids are in thinking that the world is going to cater to their whims. Just because they wrote an email to Eric Mabius/Raven Symone/Hannah Montana/whoever, that famous person will drop everything they are doing in what I assume are their somewhat busy lives, fire up the private jet, skeedaddle off to wherever this teenager wants them, and show up at a birthday party or graduation or talent show. Just because someone asked! Maybe I’m being cynical, but I don’t think most celebrities are going to do that unless said teenager were prepared to pay them a whole lot of money. Even if that person was “ur bigest fan!!!!!!!!!11”

  21. spiceybiscuit Says:

    I am not sure what is more frightening, the grammer, the wording (which I could barely read) or that this person will be a member of our society when we are old, and possibly running the country. I give it two years and she will be on the pole.

    Hey Eric, if I give you my web site page, will you try to see if I can get a part in that new Twilight move? :)

  22. Kate Says:

    I’m sad to be a teenage girl. All I can say is: disappointing.

    And I’m from Minnesota… not exactly known for our stellar academics.

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