If you’re like me and you check EricDSnider.com constantly throughout the day, you’ve probably noticed that we’ve had some downtime in recent weeks, periods of a few minutes (or hours) where the site was unavailable. According to my webmaster/brother Jeff, this is because our web host, Dotster, is a terrible company. In his words, “I am not exaggerating when I say they don’t care even a little bit whether we are satisfied with the service we are paying them to provide.”

The point is, we need to change to a new host, and the options we’re looking at — the ones that will actually get the job done — will be more expensive than what we’ve been paying. EricDSnider.com brings in some income through affiliate programs and ads and stuff, but not enough. To the extent that it’s possible, I’d like to avoid paying money out of my own pocket to keep the site up.

And that brings us to the 2008 EricDSnider.com Pledge Drive. Now, we’re not going to take the PBS route and try to guilt you into donating a few dollars for our hosting fees. The content on this site, like the content on almost all non-porn sites, is free, and that’s how it should be. If you don’t feel like donating, don’t do it.

But if you do have $5 or $10 to spare, we’d appreciate it. You can use Paypal to send it to me, and I’ll send it right over to Jeff, and he’ll spend it on candy. No! On web hosting. We promise, only web hosting. My Paypal address is eric(at)EricDSnider.com. If you don’t have a Paypal account, you can use a credit or debit card to send the money.

Thank you for your support! As your reward, here’s a video of a Haitian weatherman. You really have to watch it about 10 times in a row to get the full effect.

This week’s “Snide Remarks,” entitled “WTF, TSA?,” is about airport security. I’m pretty sure I’m the first person ever to make jokes about air travel, so I feel pretty good about that.

It may also interest you to know that I reviewed “Superhero Movie” over the weekend, and that it’s not horrible! The review is at Film.com.

This week’s “Snide Remarks,” including the audio version, is here.
The audio version (i.e., the podcast) is also here.
Subscribe to the podcast’s feed using this URL.

One of the things I like about film festivals is that they’re efficient. Case in point: Four of this week’s new releases are films that played at South By Southwest, thus relieving me of having to watch them this week.

“Stop-Loss” and “21″ are both C+ movies. “Run Fatboy Run” is better. “Flawless,” in limited release, is also decent. Note that my reviews of “Stop-Loss,” “21,” and “Flawless” are all at Cinematical.

The other new release today is one of Hollywood’s Shameful Secrets©, i.e., it wasn’t screened for critics. It’s “Superhero Movie” … yes, another unimaginatively titled spoof film. I’m seeing it today, and my review will be at Film.com later tonight is at Film.com now.

I also caught Tyler Perry’s “Meet the Browns” this week, and that review is now available. It’s the first film Perry has made that’s actually OK. So just like his characters keep saying, miracles do happen!

Sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine here.
Listen to this week’s podcast version here.
Subscribe to the podcast’s feed here.

(For complete background on this feature, read the introduction here. But here’s the gist: I registered a fake e-mail address for actress/singer Raven-Symone and announced it here, with the disclaimer that it wasn’t real, figuring dumb people would ignore that part and write to it anyway. And I was right.)

I thought we’d have a lot of e-mails regarding Raven’s new film “College Road Trip,” but there was only one that mentioned it, and it was an otherwise unremarkable e-mail, so I didn’t include it. Instead, it’s the usual mix of butchered English, logical puzzles, and references to Raven’s weight. Enjoy!

CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO RAVEN-SYMONE

Jan. 12, 2008:

THE FIRST THING IM GONNA SAY IS………..OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IM ACCTUALLY TALKING TO RAVEN SYMONE HERSELF!!!! [You're not!]
LET ME JUST INTRODUCE MYSELF,MY NAME IS TASNEEM AND IM FROM UAE [United Arab Emirates]
IM UR NUMBER ONE FAN IN UAE [possibly true],AND EVEN IN THE WORLD!!!!!!! [probably not true]
I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPY WHEN I SAW UR SITE!!
EVERYDAY, AT NIGHT WHATEVER DAY IT IS,I WATCH UR SHOW AND I CANT MISS AN EPISODE!!!
UR RLLLY MY FAVE AND WHAT I LIKE BEST IN U IS UR GD NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER CELEBS,U DONT WEAR CLOTHES THAT R OPEN AND SHORT CUZ FOR US THAT IS BAD, AND U DONT DO BAD THINGS,FOR PPL WHO R ARABS ITS BAD AND U R THE MOST ONE THAT DOZNT DO THAT
I RLLLLLY LOVE WATCHING UR SHOW CUZ ITS SOOOO FUNNY!!AND ITS SOO NICE IN EVERY WAY,I WILL BE SO HAPPY IF U ACCEPT ME ON MSN AND ACCTUALLY TALK 2 ME BY URSELF NOT SOMEONE ELSE
I RLLLLLY WANT TO TELL U THAT IF UR SHOW STOPS I WILL DIE CUZ I LUV IT SO PLZZ KEEP ON DOING NEW SHOWS FOREVER!! [Gulp. For heaven's sake, don't tell her that the show was canceled last year and the final episodes aired in November!]
U R MY FAVE CELEB PLZ STAY LIKE THIS AND DONT CHANGE AND BECOME BAD LIKE THE OTHERS LOOOL ["Laughing out out out loud"?]
PLZ COME TO THE UAE SO I CAN MEET U AND HOPEFULLY TAKE A PIC WITH U AND GET UR AUTOGRAPH!
PLZ PLZ ACCEPT ME ON MSN AND TALK WITH ME
AND PLZZZZ REPLY TO THIS EMAIL BY URSELF CUZ THAT WILL MEAN A LOTT TO ME PLZ DONT TLL SOMEONE WHO WORKS FOR U TO ANSER IT!!
LOVE,
UR NUMBER ONE FAN
TASNEEM

[You are the most one that doesn't do that!]

* * * * *

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Remember the “Star Wars” movies, and how they were very popular and featured a weapon known as a “light saber”? You had to be very agile and quick to use it properly — but it turns out a chubby Canadian kid can wield one pretty well, too, as seen in this hilarious new video.

HA!

Remember Hillary Clinton’s TV ad that tried to scare people into voting for her by suggesting that she, and not Obama, would be best prepared if the White House phone rang at 3 a.m.? The commercial used stock footage of a little girl sleeping peacefully in bed — but it turns out the little girl, now a teenager, is an Obama supporter, and in fact was actively campaigning for him before Hillary’s commercial appeared.

HA!

WSAZ in West Virginia has this amusing news story about a woman who bought a package of crazy straws at Wal-Mart for her 3-year-old daughter, only to find that two of the straws’ crazy shapes strongly resemble a penis.

No question, the straws’ shapes do look rather phallic. Was it intentional? Hard to say. I have no idea what the design and manufacturing process for novelty straws is like. Are the shapes random? Was this particular one intended to look like something else?

The woman who bought the straws was shocked and appalled, devastated that her 3-year-old daughter would be exposed to such a vulgar item, even though of course a 3-year-old has no idea there’s anything unusual about the straw.

What made me laugh, though, was the fact that in her conversation with the reporter, the woman can’t even bring herself to say the word “penis.” I think that speaks volumes about her puritanical attitude toward sex and anatomy, when she thinks the medical, biological word for the male member is taboo.

Will Goss posted these photos on Facebook, and I have stolen them to show to you. They are from my last day at SXSW, the one where we got stuck a few miles from downtown and had to wait for a bus and I sat in a shopping cart.

Here’s one with Eugene and Weinberg. Why Eugene is pushing the cart, I don’t know. I don’t remember this part specifically. I must have been very engaged in my reading.

All that business with South By Southwest is over now, so we’re back to our regular programming here at EricDSnider.com. That means we have a new “Snide Remarks” today, entitled “Artificially Swedened” and addressing the pivotal issue of the furniture in my apartment. Surely you have been concerned.

And hey! Look over here! Reviews of “10,000 BC” and “Horton Hears a Who!”! I sort of apologize for not reviewing and warning you against “10,000 BC” sooner, but at the same time, it is not needful that you should be commanded in all things. I mean, seriously.

More bloggy stuff later today.

This week’s “Snide Remarks,” including the audio version, is here.
The audio version (i.e., the podcast) is also here.
Subscribe to the podcast’s feed here.

Day 8: Friday, March 14

We figured that a good way to spend our last day at the festival would be to go watch “Doomsday” at a multiplex somewhere. It opened in wide release today without having been screened for critics, and it had to do with a deadly virus and a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and what the heck, why not? It’s not like we were already at a film festival or anything.

I suggested last night that we catch today’s noon showing, as this would enable me to be back downtown in time for a 3:30 SXSW film I wanted to see. But Weinberg insisted noon would be far too early, considering we were about to stay up too late watching movies, so we planned on the 2:30 showing instead. Indeed, noon came quite early after our 4 a.m. bedtime. Honestly, even 2:30 was pushing it. Also honestly, why were we in such a hurry to see “Doomsday”? We make no sense.

Weinberg, Eugene, Goss, and I took a cab to a multiplex a few miles south of downtown. We did indeed watch “Doomsday.” This happened without incident.

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