Eric D. Snider

Eric D. Snider's Blog

Someone wants to get a hold of Bill Fichtner

When you e-mail me through the site, there is a notice that says this:

STOP: If you are going to ask Eric how to contact a celebrity, DON’T. Eric has no such information for ANY famous person. If you ask him anyway, despite this warning, Eric will write back and tell you how stupid you are. And he’ll be right to do so.

You’ll need to know that as you read this e-mail that I received recently, with the subject line “contact Bill Fichtner”:

Eric, I’m not stupid I would just like to get this message to Bill. I meet a lot of celebrities at the Greenbier hotel where my shop is but I ran into Bill in Costa Rica.
If you can help, thanks, if not, don’t bother telling me how stupid I am.

Hey Bill, I met you and a friend at the Orquideas hotel in Costa Rica. Had a bit of breakfast with you and didn’t realize until later that I had seen you in many movies.
If you’re ever in Greenbrier Co. WV please look me up. My website is [website provided].
good luck with your career and it was nice to meet you
Tom [last name]

True to my word, I wrote back to Tom:

You’re actually among the stupidest. You read the notice that said I don’t know how to contact any celebrities, then wrote to me anyway and even acknowledged that you’d read it. What part of “I don’t know how to contact any celebrities” don’t you understand? You thought maybe Bill Fichtner was the ONE exception? Seriously: stupid.

That’s kind of mean, I know, but I did warn him. Bill Fichtner, by the way, is usually credited as William Fichtner, and you’d recognize him. He’s one of those “Hey, it’s that guy!” guys. He’s on “Prison Break,” or at least he was.

8 Responses to “Someone wants to get a hold of Bill Fichtner”

  1. Moffio Says:

    Tom, if you read this, try writing to Mr. Fitchner at blindguyincontact@gmail.com or colonelwithaguninspaceinarmageddon@gmail.com

  2. Jessie Says:

    “Bill” Fichtner. I love how he thinks they’re on a nickname basis. Reminds me of how my dad once met Thomas S Monson at a funeral a few years ago, and has called him “Tommy” ever since. He thinks they’re best friends, and it’s HILARIOUS.

  3. Maxo Says:

    Hey its that guy! I usually refer to him as “that one guy who isn’t Bishop in Aliens”, as opposed to that one guy who is.

  4. ClobberGirl Says:

    Wow, he was that guy who did the voice of the marriage counselor in Mr. & Mrs. Smith! And that guy who voiced Ken Rosenberg in the GTA games! Okay, that’s about all I recognize on his credentials. I’ll eagerly look forward to his appearance as “bank manager” in the Dark Knight though. Moving up in the world, way to go Bill!

  5. Craig Says:

    I occasionally wonder how the really ubiquitous character actors compare financially to superstar actors who don’t appear as often. Seriously, people like Fichtner or John C. McGinley are practically omnipresent. That has to add up to some serious cash.

  6. Phil Cardenas Says:

    Craig–It does add up to serious cash. Fichtner is a B-list character actor who has been in over 25 major films including Heat, Armageddon, Equilibrium, and Contact. I’m sure his agent keeps as many offers on his plate as he can handle and Mr. Fichtner makes total wad $$$. Not as big an actor as Ned Beatty, but certainly as big as M. Emmet Walsh or Richard Jenkins.

  7. alonzette Says:

    Fichtner is 20 kinds of awesome in everything he does. The whole “A list”, “B list” stuff drives me crazy because half the people that are supposed “A-listers” are fairly talent-free, albeit very pretty, individuals. (Maybe Jessica Alba is the next Meryl Streep but I kind of doubt it.) Alphabet-list status seems to depend more upon how often Us Magazine snaps your picture than the quality of what you do. Fichtner does it better than most.

  8. Carrie Says:

    Amazing!


Instantly watch from thousands of TV episodes & movies streaming from Netflix. Try Netflix for FREE!

Subscription Center

Eric D. Snider's "Snide Remarks"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly humor column, "Snide Remarks." For more information, go here.

Subscribe

Eric D. Snider's "In the Dark"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly movie-review e-zine. For more information on it, go here.

Subscribe
 
This site created and maintained by Jeff J. Snider | Diamond Clarity Chart