Eric’s Bad Movies: Kazaam (1996)
Well, I guess this was inevitable. Today’s edition of “Eric’s Bad Movies” at Film.com features “Kazaam,” a movie that for some reason Shaquille O’Neal is the star of. I know! It doesn’t make sense to me, either.
I think next week’s movie, if you’re in a guessing mood, will be one that many people liked — it grossed over $200 million worldwide when it was released in the 1990s — but is terrible nonetheless.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:07 am
I’d guess Titanic, but I vaguely recall Eric having already reviewed that.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Independence Day?
(Secondary guesses: one of the Jurassic Park movies or Twister)
June 26th, 2008 at 11:46 am
On Film.com the body of the review says summer of 2006. Thought I’d let you know.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I’m guessing one of the movies from the old batman trilogy(?)… those were all horrible…
June 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Men in Black?
June 26th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Oh … I’ll say Mrs. Doubtfire or Armageddon.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I concur with notJoeKing. It’s gotta be Batman & Robin.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
next thursday will be July 3rd, so I’m guessing Independence Day
i think in the movie it’s the day after the aliens blow up half of america and cause all kinds of hootenanies for will smith and jeff goldblum
June 26th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Batman & Robin: I don’t think many people liked that one. I’m going with Armageddon. I kept hearing about how good it was, and then it sucked.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Maybe Austen Powers?
June 26th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I hated Armageddon for so many reasons. Please let it be that one! I remember thinking how Armageddon was the dumbed down version of Deep Impact, which was released 2 months earlier. I think the director must have thought, “let’s just do a disaster movie and, just in case there are other disaster movies, let’s MAKE SURE it can’t get any bigger.
Deep Impact: Comet the size of a major city
Armageddon: Meteor the size of Texas.
Deep Impact motto: “Human drama brings out the best in people”
Armageddon: “Don’t mess with the U.S.!”
Deep Impact: Fallability of human ingenuity and technology
Armageddon: We TOTALLY could land spacecraft onto the back of a moving asteroid. Physics be d$%@ed!
Even the size of Steven Tyler’s lips as he squealed out his ballad seemed apropo to the awesome bigness of it all.
Awesome.
Big.
Sweet.
Dude.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Eric reviewed Batman & Robin, so that’s not it.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Eric reviewed “Armageddon,” too, for that matter.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say its going to be Patch Adams. That movie was so emotionally manipulative it deserves to be targeted out. But other possibilities (and there are many) are
Lost World
End of Days
Face/Off
Batman Forever
World is not enough
Independence Day
and of course Titanic
June 26th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Another Vietnam analogy, lol……… Very funny review Eric. if you ever see Shaq in person, don’t lie and say you liked his movie. Say: Shaq, how’s my review taste!
June 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
As for my guess of next week- Smacky’s probably right- Mrs. Doubtfire.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Um, didn’t Roger Ebert already cover this ground in “I Hated Hated Hated This Movie”? I’m just sayin’….
June 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I would guess that most if not all of the films Eric does in this column have already been reviewed by other people.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Roger Ebert isn’t as smart or funny as Eric. That’s why we love when he reviews these bad movies.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
And Mr. Ebert now has a sequel to that earlier book called “Your Movie Sucks.”
Both the books and Eric’s current articles are based on the same principal. It’s funner (more fun?) to read a snarky, snide, and cynical review of a terrible movie than to read a glowing, laudatory, and positive one. Ebert’s books have proved there is a market for such.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Thank you, Rob D, for the Kobe rap reference. Even though it probably not going to be Armageddon next week, I still had to say that I HATED that movie. That is on my top ten list of worst movies I’ve ever seen.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Um, “it’s probably not going to be…”
The thought of the stupidity that is Armageddon temporarily rendered me stupid, too.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I know this isn’t it because NOBODY saw it, BUT, can I make a request? Can you please review the animated version of “The King and I”? It’s one of the most painful movie experiences I’ve ever been put through. And I only saw half of it.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
These guessing games are fun, but be careful not to be too specific with the clues.
According to boxofficemojo.com, the movies grossing 200+ million in the 1990s are:
1990 - “Home Alone” and “Ghost”
1991 - “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”
1992 - “Aladdin”
1993 - “Jurassic Park” and “Mrs. Doubtfire”
1994 - “Forrest Gump” and “The Lion King”
1995 - none (seriously! “Toy Story” was closest, with almost 192 million)
1996 - “Independence Day” and “Twister”
1997 - “Titanic,” “Men in Black,” and “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”
1998 - “Saving Private Ryan” and “Armageddon”
1999 - “Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace,” “The Sixth Sense,” “Toy Story 2,” and “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”
And Eric’s already reviewed some of the above movies; more specifically, he’s reviewed all the 1997-1999 movies listed above, except for “Saving Private Ryan,” “The Sixth Sense,” and “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.”
My money is on “Mrs. Doubtfire,” “Twister,” or “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.” (And I’m leaning towards “Twister,” mostly cuz of that flying CGI cow.)
(Yeah, I know. I’ve got too much free time on my hands right now.)
June 26th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Critical error: I said it made $200 million worldwide. You only looked at films that made $200 million in the U.S. alone, which is a much more exclusive list.
June 27th, 2008 at 6:22 am
Thanks for pointing out my mistake.
With the 200+ million worldwide figure in mind, I’m guessing it will be “The Flintstones” or “Waterworld.”
June 27th, 2008 at 10:24 am
There were people who liked “The Flintstones” & “Waterworld”?
I’d guess that the movie made more than 200 million but less than 300 million or else Eric would have said it made over 300 million worldwide. That’s still a long list including two or three unreviewed Eddie Murphy movies.
But… I’m gonna go with “Interview with the Vampire.” Just the sight of Tom Cruise with flowing, golden blonde hair makes most normal people want to throw up, and yet it won some level of critical acclaim. Blech.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Since we all misread the original clues, I’m going with “Wild Wild West”.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Hey Rob D.,
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Roger Ebert IS as smart as Eric; maybe not as funny, but definitely as smart. “End of Days” might be the one–man, what a steaming pile that film is.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Anyone who said Independence Day is wrong, because Erid likes that movie.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I mean Eric. Although “Erid” would be funny.
June 28th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Phil, I think they should have an IQ test battle. That’s the only way to settle this.
June 28th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Ah, but could Roger Ebert pass a Jeopardy audition???
June 30th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Space Jam?
July 1st, 2008 at 3:31 pm
As Eric has reviewed B&R, I’m changing my vote to Wild Wild West.