“Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2″ has the same number of mummies in it as “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” (i.e., zero).

When I first announced “Eric’s Bad Movies” a few months ago and asked for suggestions, “Masters of the Universe” was one that came up many, many times. And with good reason! It is a very silly movie, and it is the subject of this week’s edition of EBM over at Film.com.

As I mentioned last week, if you want to post a comment about the column, I would love it if you’d do it at Film.com rather than here. The Film.com overlords smile upon us more favorably when our articles get comments.

Now for the guessing! The subject of next week’s edition of “Eric’s Bad Movies” is a sequel from the 1980s whose star has since been nominated for multiple Oscars. Place your bets below!

“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” has no mummies in it. What it has are really more like zombies. Dear Universal: Please fix this.

This is only the top half of the picture. The rest of it — which you may regret seeing — is after the jump.

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Guy just rode past my apt. on a unicycle. Only reason to ride unicycle: to make people say, “Hey, look at that guy! He’s riding a unicycle!”

I don’t know how many others have tried this — it seems like a pretty simple idea — but this video of a little girl giggling has been dramatically slowed down, thus turning the merry sounds of a child’s laughter into something evil and hilarious.

Look, I could sit here and make excuses for not having a new “Snide Remarks” this week. But I respect you more than that! (As far as you know, anyway.)

Actually, I had two different columns on the ol’ word-processing assembly line at various times and was never able to massage either of them into a presentable condition. I’m all about quality, you know. So they will have to wait until next week.

As a minor consolation prize, please accept this list of four recent Film.com articles that you might find enjoyable:

Some Ideas for the New Hannah Montana Movie – They’re making one, you know. Not a concert film, but an actual movie. *shudder*

Three People Crazier Than Mike Tyson Who Need a Documentary – To experience the article the way I originally wrote it, change the very last word of the second paragraph from “murdered” to “raped.” See? Much more awful my way.

Hey, Internet! Stop Running Movie Photos That Don’t Show Anything! – Self-explanatory.

A Careful Analysis of Will Smith’s July Superpowers – He’s invincible!

And hey, did you see this video of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly spoiling the ending of “The Dark Knight”? It’s funny, and they’re only kidding about the spoiling. (Contains PG language.)

I don’t usually think about Adolf Hitler very much. No more than the average person, I guess. Ten or eleven times a day, tops. But my Internet browsing on Thursday led me to two extra Hitler mentions, and in both cases the person being compared to him was Barack Obama.

Now, I don’t know about you, but where I come from, you don’t compare someone to Hitler in a serious political conversation unless that person has done something truly Hitler-like. And it has to be something BAD that Hitler did, too. Comparing someone to Hitler because they have facial hair, speak German, or once wanted to be an artist is unfair. None of those activities is inherently evil, and many people besides Hitler engage in them.

(I have a friend who loves men with blond hair and blue eyes. I once remarked that she had the same standards as Hitler. This was unfair of me — but it was not a serious political conversation. Also, it was funny, which excuses almost everything.)

The first Obama/Hitler reference came from former Nixon speechwriter and Bueller-seeker Ben Stein, who was discussing the Democratic National Convention with CNN’s Glenn Beck. Obama is going to deliver his acceptance speech at a Denver football stadium rather than in the more traditional (and smaller-capacity) indoor facility, and this doesn’t sit well with Ben Stein. He said:

I don’t like the idea of Senator Obama giving his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 wildly cheering people. That is not the way we do things in political parties in the United States of America. We have a contained number of people in an arena. Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that’s something the Führer would have done. And I think whoever is advising Senator Obama to do this is bringing up all kinds of very unfortunate images from the past.

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ComicCon Update: I’m not at ComicCon, but I hear the whole place smells like sweaty nerd.

This is a lull week in the summer blockbuster schedule. Only a couple of wide releases that no one’s all that excited about anyway have been tossed out as sacrificial lambs against “The Dark Knight,” which has made so much money that you could stack the cash into a pyramid and set it on fire with a Chinese man tied to a chair on top of it. Hypothetically speaking, I mean.

Today we have “Step Brothers,” which is a sub-par Will Ferrell effort that, predictably, made me laugh anyway. And then we also have “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” (reviewed at Film.com), which is approximately as good as an average “X-Files” TV episode. Meh.

In limited release, though, is “American Teen,” a fantastically entertaining documentary that I saw at Sundance. It will be expanding in the coming weeks, so watch for it. It’s wonderful.

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