Wanted: ‘Eric’s Bad Movies’ suggestions
The “Eric’s Bad Movies” feature at Film.com is three months old now, and it’s time for me to request your help once again in coming up with appropriate selections for the column. Many of you gave suggestions when I first announced “Eric’s Bad Movies,” and I’ve used a few of them and plan to use a few more. So I appreciate your help! And now I want more of it!
The column’s archives are here, so you can see what I’ve already covered. Beyond that, I have a few rules for the types of films that are most useful. I reserve the right to break these rules (except #1 and #2) if I want to; they’re more like personal guidelines. For example, despite rule #3, I think there might be some “Batman & Robin” in my future. But if you’re suggesting titles, try to keep them within these parameters.
1. It needs to be bad. And not just bad, but really bad. Mediocre won’t cut it. A film that is merely mediocre is a waste of my time.
2. It must have been released in theaters. No straight-to-video releases or made-for-TV movies.
3. It must be a film that I have not already reviewed. All my reviews are archived here and can be sorted alphabetically, if you’re unsure. A good rule of thumb: If it was released theatrically in the 2000s, there’s about a 99 percent chance that I reviewed it. Last time we did this, someone — I’m not going to name names — kept suggesting one already-reviewed film after another. Like, five or six different posts. I started to think she was doing it on purpose, the rascal.
4. There should be very little (if any) controversy over whether it’s a bad film. The instant the reader sees the title, he should think, “Oh, man, I heard that was terrible!” That way we’re all on the same page right from the start. So even though you may have personally hated “Titanic,” you must accept that it is beloved by many people, ordinary citizens and film critics alike, and is thus not suitable for my purposes.
5. It should be a movie that most people will have heard of, if not actually seen. Avoid the obscure.
6. Especially prized are dramas, action movies, and horror movies — anything other than comedy, basically. It is very hard to mock a bad comedy, because the movie already isn’t taking itself seriously. Often all you can really say is, “Boy, this movie sure isn’t funny!” But a serious movie that goes wrong will lend itself to plenty of ridicule. I’m not saying don’t suggest comedies at all, just that they should be used sparingly, in times of famine.
I know these rules drastically reduce the pool of potential selections, so I understand if you can’t come up with anything. Mostly I’m looking for help remembering titles that for some reason have thus far eluded me, titles that make me say, “Yes! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”
Thanks for your suggestions!
P.S. “Howard the Duck” and Vanilla Ice’s “Cool As Ice” are not available on DVD. If they were, believe me, I’d have already hit that.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:24 am
Supergirl
Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze (A chance to review Vanilla Ice in a movie)
Mortal Kombat: Annhiliation
The Karate Kid Part III
Showgirls
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:25 am
Teen Witch and Love Potion #9
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:28 am
“Judge Dredd” - Sly Stallone, Rob Schneider…BAD
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:29 am
I’m gonna have to nominate “Ator: Fighting Eagle” again. From wikipedia:
“As the film opens Ator asks his father for permission to marry his sister. Ator’s father tells Ator that he is adopted and so he can marry his sister if he likes. The rest of the film deals with Ator’s sister being kidnapped by the high priest of the Spider Kingdom and Ator having to go on an epic quest to save her.”
It may not fit well with rule 5, but come on…
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:30 am
Oh, and Anaconda.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
I nominate American Psycho 2, hands down one of the worst films I have ever seen. It stars both Mila Kunis and William Shatner…how can you go wrong?
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
Ernest Goes to Camp
Spaced Invaders
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:39 am
“Shining Through” (1992) with Melanie Griffith and Michael Douglas. Even at age ten I knew it sucked. Ebert hated it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:45 am
My kids insisted that we check out the “Return from Witch Mountain” DVD from the library. I had never seen it, and remembered that I enjoyed “Escape to Witch Mountain” as a very small boy, so we checked it out. It was truly horrific. It was culturally offensive. How could our culture have churned out something that poorly made? It was released in theaters in 1978, but if direct-to-video were common in the 70s, that’s the way it should have gone. I’m not sure if it’s too obscure for your column. IMDB says there is another sequel coming out next year (”Race to Witch Mountain” starring Dwayne Johnson). It sounds awful!
As the father of young children, I see many poorly made films (as some filmmakers think that if it’s for kids, it doesn’t have to be good). Thank goodness for Pixar! Anyway, if you run out of good (or “bad” might be the better word) choices, try the sequels to kids movies that were released theatrically. For instance, while I rather liked “The Neverending Story”, its sequels leave much to be desired, particularly III.
Or some of the JAWS sequels were pretty bad.
Or Xanadu.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 am
Jaws IV is a great candidate, as well as Star Trek V
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I made a request for it a week ago but the animated version of “The King and I” is absolutely horrific. It came out around the same time that the Really Useful Group was in discussion with Universal about adapting “Cats” and “Starlight Express” to the animated screen…Can you imagine how THOSE would have turned out?
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Gymkata.
Easily the worst film ever.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Masterminds. Hands down the worst movie I’ve ever seen. We saw it in the theater in college unfortunately.
Stars Patrick Stewart as the head of security of some rich private school who holds all the kids hostage in order to extort a ransom from their rich parents.
He is of course foiled by Ozzie, a teenager who breaks into ultra-secure computer networks by means of a floppy disk labeled “Code Breaker”
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Sorrry if you’re reviewed some of these already. Didn’t check….
Can’t Hardly Wait
9 1/2 Weeks
The 13th Warrior
The Animal
Batman & Robin
Blair Witch 2
Dukes of Hazzard
Dumb and Dumberer
In & Out
In Dreams
Jakob the Liar
Joe’s Apartment
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Left Behind: The Movie
Legally Blonde 2
Lost in Space
Meet the Fockers
Orgazmo
The Road to Wellville
Superstar
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Time Bandits
Uncommon Valor
V.I. Warshawski
Van Helsing
Virus
What the Bleep do we Know
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Mac & Me.
The worst movie/McDonald’s commercial ever made.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Rigg: I was just about to suggest that! anyway, give Mac & Me another vote.
also, someone posted about the ninja turtles movies and i will say, that ninja turtles 3 is 10x worse than 2.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Xanadu. For SO many reasons.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Super Mario Bros. (the movie)
The mother of all video game adaptions, and actually the first. It’s 20% comedy, 80% “serious.”
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I second Anaconda. Truly awful. The other one I nominate is Baseketballs. I know it was released theatrically, and I know it’s awful because of the premise, and because my dad (favorite show: Two and a Half Men) LOVES it.
The other one I nominate is Prince of Thieves–Kevin Costner as Robin Hood pic.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@ Ryan. So you read all of the stipulations for posting bad movies and then decided to ignore up to all 6 of them with your choices? And most of your list falls either falls under the easiest one to adhere to (released before 2000) or little controversy of whether or not it’s bad (not just ones you think are).
Next time, maybe if you take the time to make a list, you could take the additional 5 minutes to do what the owner of the site politely asks you to do to help and research it a little. If you have time to post comments, you should have the time to do your own look-see. In my opinion.
You do have a movie on your list that fits all of his criteria: The 13th Warrior. Maybe he’ll take your suggestion.
Here are some of mine:
The Jackal (13% Fresh Rating)
8 mm (27%)
Anaconda (27%)
Congo (20%)
Rocky V (21%)
Grease 2 (19%)
Cobra (7%)
Rhinestone (11%)
The Wiz (33%)
and I’d love to see Eric’s thoughts on Waterworld (39%)
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Return to Oz–I liked this movie as a kid for some reason but I bet most would find it atrocious
Disney’s Pocahontas–Stick to Fairytale, Disney
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:22 pm
The Bad Seed.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Smacky:
The Internet– It’s Serious Business
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Rather than Star Trek V as suggested by others, perhaps an anthology of all odd numbered Star Treks would be appropriate. Also perhaps Urban Legends (which you summarized as bad in your review of the sequel, but no full review). Blues Brothers 2000. I want to suggest more, but everything that springs to mind is already reviewed (e.g. Battlefield Earth, Batman & Robin)
And for the above poster, check out the Bad Movie Archives for SMB. It’s already been done.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Neil - Star Trek: First Contact (number 7 in the film series) was actually quite good and very well received.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Oops - First Contact was number 8. Sorry, Neil.
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I nominate “Cutthroat Island,” the laughably awful Geena Davis pirate movie and one of the biggest flops in movie history:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112760/
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
“Teen Wolf Too” is pretty bad, and how about “It’s Pat!” starring a Saturday Night Live character who wasn’t even funny on SNL? I’ve never seen it, but it looks atrocious.
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Ryan:
Internet Fun. Me Like Cut Paste. Me Not Like Rational Comments. Me Troll. Grrr.
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Worst movie I’ve ever seen in the theater: Problem Child (1990)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100419/
Runner up: Dungeonmaster (and I’m into D&D!) (1985)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089060/
I checked, they’re not on your list. Not sure where they fall on #5, though.
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Real Genius
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Mortal Kombat 2 (someone already mentioned this, but it is so bad I must throw in my vote for it as well)
Jaws: The Revenge
Troll 2 ( haven’t seen this one, although from what I’ve heard, its badness is legendary)
Congo
Leonard Part 6
Lost World
and what the heck…Plan 9 from Outer Space
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
hahaha @ryan and others. I too will also now post my bottom 25 list that I formed several years ago, some of these are inelligible though
kung pow
underground comedy movie
dumb and dumberer
meet the feebles
Rollerball
omega code 2: megiddo
battlezone planet (aka battlefield Earth)
dude wheres my car
blair witch 2
ninth gate
urban legends
stealing harvard
LXg
blair witch
my boss’s daughter
the sweetest thing
date movie
daisies
just married
teenage drama queen
pootie tang
rocketman
devil’s advocate
the core
bubble boy
hmm meet the feebles (Peter Jackson’s 3rd biggest hit), underground comedy movie, and megiddo there are probably too unknown.
Can you review battlefield earth without being sued?
I think a good candidate could be Rollerball - the modern remake that is. The ultimate climax of that movie is when LL is running away from an airplane on his motorcycle in super eXtreme night-o-vision, and the plane rolls through a barbed wire fence that proceeds to make a bugs bunny-esque BOING sound.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
also, 2nd for It’s Pat
also, that was not a troll
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
How about Hellraiser or Superman 3? Those were pretty bad.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Ooh! And Delta Force! Or really any Chuck Norris movie….
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Eric’s already done Delta Force, too.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
“Ishtar” (though I find it kinda funny)
+1 for “Anaconda”
“Baby Geniuses”
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
I second Prince of Thieves and the TMNT sequels
Dragon Heart was really bad, and wanted you to take it seriously.
I don’t know if this is too obscure, but Krull is one of the most hilariously bad sci-fi/fantasy movies ever. It is a feast for the bad film critic. It has everything from bad dialog to bad acting to corny heroics to the obligatory secret lair that inexplicably crumbles when you kill the bad guy. And the hero sticks his hand in flowing lava to retrieve his magic knife thingy and comes out unscathed.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Looks like you never got to “Lost in Space” and “The Avengers”
And I still stand by my original Sean Connory marathon:
Avengers
Zardoz
Medicine Man
Highlander 2
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:58 pm
You need to do “Battlefield Earth.” Yes, I realize you already reviewed it, but a movie on that level really deserves Eric’s Bad Movies treatment. Your review barely scratches the surface of the wretchedness within.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Bret, I think “Return to Oz” is still awesome. Those Wheeler creatures are freaky.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Tortillas Again!
It was the worst movie I have ever seen.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Masters of the Universe - 1987
I don’t know what the general consensus was about it at the time of release, but my roommates and I rented it in 2001 solely for the purpose of mocking it. Good times.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I can’t believe nobody mentioned…
“Howard the Duck.”
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
How about
“Firewalker” (with Chuck Norris and Louis Gossett Jr.),
“Avengers” (with Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery)
“Congo” (with Laura Linney)
“Last Action Hero” (with Arnold Schwarzenegger)
“Waterworld” (with a flippered Kevin Costner)
“Striptease” (with Demi Moore)
“Volcano” (with Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche)
“The Jackal” (with Bruce Willis and Richard Gere)
or
“End of Days” (with Arnold Schwarzenegger)
?
(none of the above movies were meant as a straight comedy, but they all seem to have some laughable moments, for the wrong reasons…)
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:26 pm
“City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold”
“Home Fries”
“Mom and Dad Save the World”
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Oh, whoops, completely forgot the comedy thing. And yet while I’m at it, I’d like to also thrown in a bid for “The Ice Pirates” .
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
I’m shocked no one has nominated The Stupids with Tom Arnold. It is eye-poppingly bad. I’m also shocked no one has put up the strange, manipulative Robin Williams movie, Jack. Others I wish Eric to review are:
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Street Trash (About melting bums!)
Entrapment
The Wiz (which is a torturous 2.25 hours long)
I second Savvy Veteran and third maxo on It’s Pat! because it is TERRIBLE. It possesses the dubious honor of ZERO PERCENT on Rotten Tomatoes.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Scarlet Letter (1995)
And I always wanted to see what Eric thought about The Fighting Temptations (since he hated the trailer so much — http://www.ericdsnider.com/snide/trailer-park/ ), but I don’t think he’s reviewed it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I love this movie with all my heart and highly reccomend The Legend of Boggy Creek for consideration.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Blank Check
Jaws III
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I second Cutthroat Island.
Also, there were not one but two Final Fantasy movies.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Sorry, I should probably mention that the Final Fantasy movie you didn’t review already (d’oh! I was honestly trying to check but my internet was eating itself) is called Advent Children.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Commando - Schwarzenegger
Timecop - Jean-Claude Van Damme ( or really, ANYTHING featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme)
Under Seige 2, Above the Law, Out for a Kill (or anything involving Steven Seagal ‘acting’)
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Disney put out a Three Musketeers with Chris O’Donnell. It was horrendous, especially if you’ve read the book. Watching it made me want to strangle my tv. I think I did yell at it. I also second Problem Child, and suggest the Look Who’s Talking series.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I second Amp’s suggestion of Disney’s mutilation of The Three Musketeers. How did I ever like that movie? It must have had something to do with me being a teenager. They do all sorts of silly things.
I also humbly submit Jungle 2 Jungle. Of course, for Eric making fun of Tim Allen is like shooting drunken fish in a barrel, but since when has that ever stopped him?
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Oh I loved “Three Musketeers”!! Okay, I’ll admit that I will basically watch any movie with Tim Curry in it, whether its a good movie or not……that’s the only way I got through “Legend”!! The one that I love the most is also the one that everyone one I tell about it hates & makes fun of me for liking, so I’ll put it on your list. It’s “Oscar” with Sylvester Stallone, Tim Curry, & Marisa Tomei. I think it’s funny, but people I’ve made watch it with me, hate it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I’m giving a third vote for “The Wiz.” The show itself is actually a lot of fun (Sondheim was once quoted saying that he liked it a lot and that he wished he could figure out how to write a show that genuinely happy.) But the movie throws everything that is good about its source material out the window to make old Diana Ross fit into the picture. Dreadful.
July 4th, 2008 at 2:09 am
I nominate ‘The Pirate Movie’.
Definite proof that, before potc, Hollywood had no idea how to make decent movies involving pirates.
July 4th, 2008 at 4:29 am
I want you to review Code Name: The Cleaner with Cedric “The Entertainer?”. I saw it in the movie theatre in Jan 2007. Luckily, that’s when you take a break because movies are usually bad in January. I know it’s a comedy, but it tries to be serious most of the time and not funny. Well, trust me- this is as bad as it gets.
July 4th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Oh, what about that awful Robin Williams movie, I think it was called Toys.
Unfortunately, The Pirate Movie is a spoof of a spoof which might make it hard for Eric to review, even though it is laughably bad.
July 4th, 2008 at 7:25 am
I liked “The Monster Squad” enough as a kid that I now own the Special edition DVD…but as an adult I can admit it is just plain awful
July 4th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Hey, Jenn, I was just going to nominate “Oscar”. That movie was awful. And Gilgamesh, “Howard the Duck” has been mentioned. The last line of this blog: “P.S. “Howard the Duck” and Vanilla Ice’s “Cool As Ice” are not available on DVD. If they were, believe me, I’d have already hit that.”
My (possibly) last nomination–I find it physically impossible to think of more than one bad movie at a time–is one with Tony Danza, “She’s Out of Control”. Bleech.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:20 am
“At Play in the Fields of the Lord.” I remember getting to review this for UT’s paper when I was in grad school because no one else wanted to touch it, and they were absolutely right. So bad. It looks like you can’t buy the DVD on Amazon or rent it on Netflix, but I believe there was a DVD in the past, so hopefully a local video store might still have it available.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I can’t believe I forgot this mention this one….the legendary Roadhouse, which has often been mocked on MST3K.
Oh, and while I’m posting this here are some others that would be potentials
Waterworld
Masters of the Universe (dude its Dolph Lundgren, what could go wrong?)
Star Trek V
oh, and I just saw that someone mentioned Toys, which is good because I forgot how horrible that was.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Sextette, Sextette, Sextette and more Sextette. It’s one of the best (funniest) bad films ever, a cult classic to those in the know, and is screaming to be rediscovered by a wider audience. It’s Mae West’s last film, a disastrous vanity project in which she plays a 20-something sex kitten despite being in her late 80s. Also appearing: Tony Curtis, Timothy Dalton, Ringo Starr, Alice Cooper, Keith Moon, Dom DeLuise, George Hamilton and Regis Philbin.
It’s a gaudy 90-minute car crash on a massive scale, and perhaps the worst musical of all time - surely a feat in itself…
July 4th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I’d also like to add my voice to those voting for The Wiz. And also agree that Return To Oz is actually pretty good.
July 4th, 2008 at 11:44 am
The Apple.
July 4th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Hey Eric, Re: rule 5, I hadn’t heard of–and certainly haven’t seen–some of the films you’ve already reviewed for “Eric’s Bad Movies”. It didn’t diminish the entertainment value of the feature at all.
July 4th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
“Who’s Harry crumb?” starring John Candy and Annie Potts and “High Spirits” with Steve Guttenberg and Daryll Hannah (and Peter O’ Toole!)
July 4th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
What about Vintage Bad? If it’s available, the 1973 musical version of “Lost Horizon” is certainly one of the worst movies ever, with bonus points for harming the careers of all the truly talents people involved in it (Liv Ullman? Burt Bacharach? Larry Kramer? Charles Boyer? Sir John Gielgud?). Yet I’d like to see it again, just to confirm how horrible it was.
July 4th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
So one of my all time favorite guilty pleasure movies is Only You (1994 with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey, Jr.) because it’s so laughably bad and overly dramatic. So I vote that one. Or Moonstruck with Cher and Nicholas Cage (1987). Also laughably bad and overly dramatic.
July 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
“Moonstruck”??? I think somebody doesn’t understand the difference between “I personally didn’t like this movie” and “this movie is generally considered bad.”
July 4th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Body of Evidence
Madonna practically guarantees the badness — plus, it’s a Portland movie!
July 4th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Two films for your consideration:
China O’Brien–(whoa, this is a seriously badly acted B movie they tried to push on the public).
Fire with Fire–(Virginia Madsen is smokin’ hot in this film, but the movie really stinks).
July 4th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
OK OK OK, so I have to confess, I love (and own) Moonstruck. But I guess I figured I was in the minority because everyone I have watched it with hated it. And when you step back and look at it, I can see their point.
So to make up for suggesting that movie, I take it off the table and replace it with It’s Alive (1974) about a baby who goes on killing sprees.
July 5th, 2008 at 2:47 am
I suggest Inspector Gadget, that abysmal “family film” from the 90s filled with shallow product endorsements.
Maybe not everybody agrees with me, but “The Burbs” is EASILY bad enough for this feature. What a terrible, terrible movie.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Any movie that was a vehicle for Hulk Hogan should qualify. A favorite of mine is “Santa with Muscles”, it is laughably bad in almost every way. I’m not sure if this may have never been theatrically released as I got it as a gag gift from a garage sale, but I’m sure others of his were.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:22 am
“Big Trouble in Little China”
July 5th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Does anybody remember the extended Nintendo commercial “The Wizard” starring Fred Savage? At the time I thought it was absolutely great!
July 5th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Big Trouble in Little China is a spoof. It’s trying to be a bit dumb. It should fall in the comedy rule.
July 5th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever - also known as “random things explode”, or “how to make bigger and better explosions without having any relevance to the plot”. It stars Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu, and it had a wide release, although I can’t vouch for how many people actually saw it. My friend talked me into going; had I seen a trailer, I likely would’ve not gone.
July 5th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I’m glad that I saw a few folks in here willing to roast movies that they loved as kids rather than insisting they still stand up. I second Legend and Big Trouble in Little China, and add Willow to the list.
For Devino: I actually watched The Wizard while carving pumpkins with my family last Halloween. It’s not as bad as I’d hoped. Kind of touching, actually.
July 5th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I nominate the 1980s horror film Chopping Mall. Here is a clip to convince you of its badness:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPq7UImrr-U
Plus it would go well with the recent release of WALL-E, you know, really good robot movie v. really bad one.
July 5th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Showgirls
July 5th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Nothing but Trouble.
Staring Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, John Candy, Demi Moore. *Not a Single Laugh*
It is available on DVD
July 5th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Here’s one my girlfriend put on today that made me want to shove icepicks into my eyes: “Because I Said So”, starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore
I can’t believe you didn’t find time last year to ridicule it, although I envy the fact that you probably spent those two hours getting dental fillings or some other more worthwhile endeavor. A quick check at rotten tomatoes (7% fresh) confirms that it’s not just me who found it awful. Rotten Tomatoes consensus:
“Because I Said So is an unfunny, cliche-ridden mess that manages to make Diane Keaton temporarily unlikable. Manipulative, overly reliant on caricatures, and lacking a shred of human insight, this is one of 2007?s most misbegotten films.”
July 5th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
How hard did you look before you concluded that I didn’t review it? I think our system of alphabetization is pretty straightforward…
http://www.ericdsnider.com/movies/because-i-said-so
July 5th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Honey, I Blew Up the Kids
July 5th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I know you gave it a B in your review section, but everyone I’ve ever talked to (and many of your disgruntled commenters) agree that Happy Feet is a really bad movie. Just consider the premise: A misfit penguin saves the world by teaching his penguin colony to dance. This somehow convinces humans everywhere to stop over fishing the ocean. Yeah, that makes sense.
July 5th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I totally second “Big Trouble in Little China”. If it was meant to be a spoof I didn’t catch it. It seemed to me like they were actually trying to make a straightforward action film.
Oh, and MAN! Is that film ever bad or what?
July 6th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Wild Wild West ?
July 6th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Oh, I know.
How about old 80’s cartoon movies, The care bears movie, and its sequels. Or Rainbow bright and the star stealer. Or MY Little Pony; the movie.
Those aren’t too obscure are they? I know they were in theaters, and the only people who think those are good films haven’t seen them since they were 5. They’re practically unwatchable.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:27 am
Here’s a Sextette clip. Warning: Contains singing (or what passes for):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hctzwKRVzY
July 6th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I’ll second Legend and Masters of the Universe.
Also, if you haven’t done Jaws IV, I’d get reviewing. Not just the worst Jaws movie, but one of the worst films of all time, period. It made my soul hurt when I saw it–I was only 8-9 years old at the time, and even then I saw how rotten it was!
Another good choice is Mannequin, starring “SATC”’s Kim Cattrall. So kinky and embarrassing. Yikes.
July 6th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I liked “Mannequin”!! Of course, maybe it was because I did a have a huge crush on Andrew McCarthy & James Spader at the time……
Oh pick on “Mannequin 2″!!! Now that was a stinker!!
July 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
people, people. your all overlooking one very obvious addition to this magical little list.
three words:
Micheal….Jacksons…….Moonwalker
trust me, its a steamer.
July 6th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
“Mad Love” with Drew Barrymore and Chris O’Donnell. One of the all time worst movies I’ve ever seen, and yes, it does take itself seriously… soooo (laughably) seriously. Review it. It’s a winner.
July 6th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Stone Cold. Cuz’ you don’t mess with da Boz, whoever he was.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Okay, I just watched “Far and Away” with Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman. For the life of me, I cannot remember why I loved this movie when it came out!! With Tom Cruise’s horrible attempt at an Irish accent, to his favorite line in the movie, which seems to be “Shannon, yer a corker!” Nicole Kidman fares a little better in it, but not by much. Why Ron Howard thought this was a great movie to make, I don’t know…..but it has the obligatory cameos by his brother Clint & dad Rance. They need to have an Oscar for best cameo…..Clint Howard would win every time!!
July 6th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
“Okay, I just watched “Far and Away” with Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman. For the life of me, I cannot remember why I loved this movie when it came out!!”
I would guess, based on your other comments, that it was because it had cute boys in it.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
North
The Good Son
Mac & Me
A Troll in Central Park
Meteor Man
Space Invaders
Death Becomes Her
Vampire in Brooklyn
Three Ninjas
Surf Ninjas
Ed
Street Fighter
The Wizard
Big Top Pee-wee
The Guyver
Chairman of the Board
Batman Forever
The Stupids
It Takes Two
I could probably go on, but I thinks this is a veritable shmorgesbord of notably awful movies as is that Eric hasn’t done.
July 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
North (1994). Starring Elijah Wood, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Jason Alexander. Horrible, horrible movie. A low for Rob Reiner, Elijah Wood, and even Julia Louis-Dreyfus who, let’s face it, has done some pretty crappy shows in her career.
July 6th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Also, Bruce Willis in a pink rabbit suit.
July 6th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
whoops.. wonder why it didn’t show up when i searched for it in the box in the upper right hand corner?
July 6th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Eh, long as I’m on a roll:
My Father the Hero
Short Circuit 2
Jack
Hudson Hawk
Steel
Judge Dread
Twins
Critters
Batteries Not Included
Bordello of Blood
Breakin’/Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
Nothing But Trouble
Fierce Creatures
It’s Pat
Last Action Hero
Carnosaur
Halloween 3
Spice World
Toys
July 7th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Strike Spice World since you’ve already done it.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:01 am
“Return to Oz” holds up fairly well, especially among people whose exposure to Oz came as much or more from the original book series by L. Frank Baum than the MGM Judy Garland-centric musical comedy.
Personally, I nominate “The Wizard”…the Nintendo Power Glove is so bad! I mean rad!
July 7th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I’ll second these two horrible kids movies already mentioned:
North
Blank Check (bad because not only is it a kids movie for dummies, but it actually has a bad moral!)
July 7th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I wholeheartedly second “Masters of the Universe” and add a more recent cruddy movie: “Hackers” containing an early role by Angelina Jolie. Bonus appearance: Penn Jillette as a systems administrator who spouts off some technical jargon that he clearly does not understand.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:51 am
“Jaws: The Revenge” is a must. In fact, throw in “Jaws 3D” for good measure. You could even make it a double-header column!
I’m also kind of surprised that no one has mentioned any Freddy movies. While a few are decent, most of them are atrocious. “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare” in particular is a true gem (I’ll admit that I’m a proud owner of the Freddy box set).
July 7th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I was about to suggest Mac & Me, but it looks like a couple viewers beat me to it. Here are a couple:
Haunted Honeymoon
Heavy Metal
July 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Benzo - Short Circuit 2 and Batteries Not Included are awesome!
July 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I have to agree with “Masters of the Universe” That movie was before 2000, truly horrible, and it was based off a cartoon on Saturday morning. After that, I could never watch that cartoon again.
Legend with Tom Cruise, remember that tripe? They have been playing that movie again on some movie channel and wow, horrible. I saw someone else posted that a few times, that HAS to be on the list. I can just see Eric wanting to hang himself trying to sit through that movie listening to Mr. Tom scream “Lilly” about a million times. It is almost as bad as “Rose!” in the horrible Titanic movie (i know, i know, I am mad not liking that movie, but hey, that is what blogs are for)
Night of the Comet is also a great one. That one is pretty old, early ’80’s? (I am dating myself) but seriously, it was girls dressed like Madonna shopping after a Comet killed everyone.
Bonfires of the Vanities, Hudson Hawk, that movie Always about the smoke jumpers and the planes? Horrible.
Maximum Override, you know that movie..come on.
With the Mac Trucks and everyone is stuck in the diner? It was a Steve King based book turned into yet another horrible movie? I think that had a comet in it also.
Man without a Face
Three Men and a Baby
Look whose Talking
Staying Alive
Tank Girl (the guys in the office wanted me to add this one)
So many to choose from, so little time
July 7th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
These are two of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in a theater:
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Congo (1995) I only remembered “Congo” when a commenter mentioned it above. It’s horrible!Grey gorillas running amuck.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:07 am
Maximum Overdrive (1986) was the title of the movie recently mentioned. I’m only correcting it because it is bad and deserves to be included on the list.
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)–while you mentioned Stallone movies in today’s blog, and I actually didn’t not like it as a teenager, it is considered as one of the worst comedies of all time, and since nobody’s mentioned it, I will.
Heaven’s Gate (1980)–Haven’t seen it myself, but the movie was impressively, historically bad, being the film that single-handedly caused the downfall of United Artists.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)–I caught it on demand last year. It’s made enough worst movie ever lists and has a title that sticks out sufficiently that I think a lot of people have heard of it, even if they haven’t actually seen it. You could spare them the trauma.
July 12th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
I don’t think Anaconda is “bad” enough to merit a special review. I recommend “Super Baby Geniuses.”
August 1st, 2008 at 11:09 am
I know you’re done looking for recommendations, but I just remembered this bad, bad, bad movie, and it’s not (supposed to be) a comedy, just a horror movie so bad it’s unintentionally funny.
Dr. Giggles. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104139/plotsummary Awesomely Bad.
Another contender: Second Sight, with John Larroquette and Bronson Pinchot. That just screams bad movie, doesn’t it?
August 18th, 2008 at 5:23 am
I heartily agree with the people who suggested Krull and Legend. They were truly bad films, although as Legend takes itself seriously I would say it is the worst of the two.
I can’t believe someone nominated Willow, though! This is a film from my childhood that I still remember fondly.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Has anyone mentioned the ‘Conan’ franchise?